Man, I've got a lot of rants...

LOL

Got to thinking about kids and food and how we often say "I don't want to put my family on a diet just because I am...that's not fair" "I want to be a fun mom and give my kids a childhood...they don't need restrictions. They're kids, for Pete's sake!"

And ya know....I was this Mom.

And so was my mom. Ouch.

She taught me that food=comfort and love. Ouch.

She taught me that food=happiness. Ouch.

She taught me that fun and celebration and warmth and good times were based around food. Ouch.

She taught me that treats like candy and McDonalds are what you get for enduring the doctor's office, going someplace unpleasant, have a bad day, get hurt, need comfort. Ouch.

She taught me to cook for everyone, bring treats to neighbors, feed people at work, list everything in the pantry to house guests, make their favorites, cook exquisite resplendent meals.....because feeding people means....you love them/appreciate them/want their respect/want to comfort them and put them at ease.

She taught me to find out everyone's favorite drink and favorite snack...and to stock it when they visit. Everyone's favorite candy had to go in their stocking. Everyone's favorite snack at the slumber party. Everyone's favorite topping on their quarter of the pizza. Everyone's favorite ice cream...

it didn't hurt me, did it?

Wait...I ended up needing bariatric surgery for being morbidly obese. Oh. Crap.

We need to rethink some of this stuff, folks.

The thing about our kids? They share our genetics. Think about that. They've already got a genetic predisposition to obesity, even if they're thin now. We can't change that.

But we CAN change their eating habits. We can change the ideas around food at our houses. We can change what we buy and what we teach them to eat regularly.

We can give our kids a legacy of shopping farmers markets and helping them learn to cook really fun and satisfying foods with fruits and veggies.

We can teach them to feed themselves good quality foods in appropriate amounts.

We can pack them healthy lunches with more whole foods and less crap.

We can change the theme of our home food culture....push for more activity and less candy. More walks and hikes and exploration, fewer video games and Netflix marathons. More bowls of cut up veggies in the fridge and fewer bowls of chips and cookies on the counter.

We can change our celebrations to showcase fun activities, healthier snacks, more focus on togetherness, less focus on stuffing each other.

"I don't want to put my family on a diet just because I am".......might need more thought.

"I'm changing our entire household's eating habits because I want this cycle to end. I don't want them to face the issues I did. I want their lives and their relationship with food to be better than mine."

Sometimes I think when we continue to feed our families junk while we diet....we create this feedback loop of longing for the comfort we feel we're giving them. And it's messed up...because again, it lacks compassion for ourselves. It continues to give food power and emphasis. Worse...it TEACHES that food is comfort and love....And it doesn't break the cycle:(

I'm not saying kids shouldn't have treats and balance and junk food once in a while. God knows they will. LOL. And it's fine.

I'm just sayin....we could do a lot to improve their everyday diets in ways that would serve them well in life. We could give them better skills and better prepare them for taking care of their health. We can provide a better normal.

Do some thinking today about the food culture at your house growing up, the food culture you give your kids currently...and the food culture you hope your kids will have when they grow up. It's worth considering.

Edited July 14, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

2 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

I think a lot of that is the psychology of poverty. When the long term outlook is bleak, people focus on the short term.

https://phys.org/news/2012-11-poverty-people-focus-short-term.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/11/your-brain-on-poverty-why-poor-people-seem-to-make-bad-decisions/281780/

I can see the how the info can relate. However, i don't believe that poverty overpowers of human nature to learn from our hardships. There are many people who use their resources wisely, and many who don't. What differentiates them? I don't know. From my experience with the people who I know that abuse the resource, it seems like they don't spend it, like they earned it. They have no sense of responsibility to use it wisely. They know that it will be there, month after month. No worry that the amount will change, or the date. Its dependable, and predictable. They don't feel like food is a bill. In my house, we frequently talk about our "food bill". I'm NOT of course, referring to everyone on food stamps.

I breastfed all my kids into toddlerhood and served mainly whole foods - always vegetables with the main course and homemade treats - oatmeal cookies, homemade pizza too. I was a poor military wife and on food stamps - but I learned better nutrition from La Leche League, I made all my own bread for years and years. My kids were not fat, thought yogurt was an amazing 'treat'. They all like most vegetables and eat nearly anything to this day. I used portion control with treats.
I was devastated when the 2 middle kids of the 4 developed type 1 diabetes, I was totally devastated. Of course it was no one's fault - and there are no family members that have type 1 other than these two. Anyway....at least adapting to eating like diabetics was not difficult for the family.
My bio sisters/brothers are/were not obese, my bio mother was not obese, nor my bio father. I was not raised by them. My paternal aunt and husband raised me from infancy and produced mega self-esteem issues in me. I used food for major comfort, was only slightly chubby all through school, weighed 135 in high school. Fast forward - I continued to eat for comfort in my alcoholic marriage for 18 years...piled on the pounds.
And so on......but I still celebrate with food, food is meant to be enjoyed within reason. I think food at family functions is an important aspect that I am not going to give up. (But there are no chips in my house unless a non-resident brings them over)
We eat too much processed food and took home-ec out of schools, need to require nutrition, how to shop for food, and cooking classes with those SNAP benefits. They actually did that for people on food stamps in Hawaii through the home extension programs. We also need to move more, some states don't require gym class either..we need balance.

OMG La Leche League... The memories

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

I can see the how the info can relate. However, i don't believe that poverty overpowers of human nature to learn from our hardships. There are many people who use their resources wisely, and many who don't. What differentiates them? I don't know. From my experience with the people who I know that abuse the resource, it seems like they don't spend it, like they earned it. They have no sense of responsibility to use it wisely. They know that it will be there, month after month. No worry that the amount will change, or the date. Its dependable, and predictable. They don't feel like food is a bill. In my house, we frequently talk about our "food bill". I'm NOT of course, referring to everyone on food stamps.

The problem here is you are comparing your journey to theirs, your life to theirs. That's not going to work out, too much comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. Let people live exactly how they want to if it does not quantifiably affect you day to day, tolerance.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

Just now, Tealael said:

The problem here is you are comparing your journey to theirs, your life to theirs. That's not going to work out, too much comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. Let people live exactly how they want to if it does not quantifiably affect you day to day, tolerance.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

You are right. Well said.

I do not know one family that uses their benefits for steak and lobster (I just said that because they are not processed). I do know my work kids eat a lot of fast food and processed food. I finished college with my oldest two still in diapers, so I have eaten my fair share of Ramon. My issue was that the kids I work with do not seem to want to eat much of anything except processed food. They can all tell you the secrets of making Ramon better though. You can add cheese, hot dogs, Louisiana hot sauce etc...

I really liked our "healthy recipes" fourth of July. Everyone said the food was awesome and the fun the kids had didn't seem to be decreased in the slightest by an absence of endless cookies, cupcakes, pop and chips.

I learned to make an amazing low call salad dressing from a guest. Loved my sis in law's black bean brownies.

Rather than buying the kids so many treats, I bought more bubbles and water balloons and fun things to play with.

More pool toys, less frosting. More nets and bug jars, got the canoes and fishing gear out.... the video games downstairs were never turned on.

I made punch with diet 20 calorie juice with frozen raspberries floating in it. Had iced bottled water and sugar free lemonade....no one complained about the lack of soda.

We had a scavenger hunt and the prize was launching a lantern.

I think there's room for creativity with our celebrations that can provide needed balance.

@Creekimp13 your friends and family must be nicer than mine. If I ever served black bean brownies I'd never have anyone attend a party at my house again

So I’m chiming in here my husbands family are immigrants. They hail from Peru all of them are small like all of them except his brother and my hubby. And we have food allllllllll the time. We have desert alllll the time but the difference is the meal is the least interesting part of our gatherings we play games we do karaoke competitions we make pretty much anything into a compitition including jenga and their kids eat juice snacks chips but also veggies real food too it’s so different to see the way food is handled in his family versus mine

On 7/15/2018 at 8:27 AM, okayestmom said:

I feel you so much on this! I teach 4th grade in Mississippi. Everything is rewarded with food, or every reward includes food. Cookies, hot chips, Kool-Aid, snow cones. Kids bring snacks from home. Hot chips all DAMN DAY! I swear, I'm always saying to quit eating chips in my room. I had a kid who ate a huge bag of Takis on the bus headed to school and THREW THEM UP IN MY ROOM! Omg. I'm sorry, I got sidetracked, but I feel you. I bought a "treasure box" of cheap crap from Oriental Trading, and they love digging in it to get rewarded.