Man, I've got a lot of rants...

LOL

Got to thinking about kids and food and how we often say "I don't want to put my family on a diet just because I am...that's not fair" "I want to be a fun mom and give my kids a childhood...they don't need restrictions. They're kids, for Pete's sake!"

And ya know....I was this Mom.

And so was my mom. Ouch.

She taught me that food=comfort and love. Ouch.

She taught me that food=happiness. Ouch.

She taught me that fun and celebration and warmth and good times were based around food. Ouch.

She taught me that treats like candy and McDonalds are what you get for enduring the doctor's office, going someplace unpleasant, have a bad day, get hurt, need comfort. Ouch.

She taught me to cook for everyone, bring treats to neighbors, feed people at work, list everything in the pantry to house guests, make their favorites, cook exquisite resplendent meals.....because feeding people means....you love them/appreciate them/want their respect/want to comfort them and put them at ease.

She taught me to find out everyone's favorite drink and favorite snack...and to stock it when they visit. Everyone's favorite candy had to go in their stocking. Everyone's favorite snack at the slumber party. Everyone's favorite topping on their quarter of the pizza. Everyone's favorite ice cream...

it didn't hurt me, did it?

Wait...I ended up needing bariatric surgery for being morbidly obese. Oh. Crap.

We need to rethink some of this stuff, folks.

The thing about our kids? They share our genetics. Think about that. They've already got a genetic predisposition to obesity, even if they're thin now. We can't change that.

But we CAN change their eating habits. We can change the ideas around food at our houses. We can change what we buy and what we teach them to eat regularly.

We can give our kids a legacy of shopping farmers markets and helping them learn to cook really fun and satisfying foods with fruits and veggies.

We can teach them to feed themselves good quality foods in appropriate amounts.

We can pack them healthy lunches with more whole foods and less crap.

We can change the theme of our home food culture....push for more activity and less candy. More walks and hikes and exploration, fewer video games and Netflix marathons. More bowls of cut up veggies in the fridge and fewer bowls of chips and cookies on the counter.

We can change our celebrations to showcase fun activities, healthier snacks, more focus on togetherness, less focus on stuffing each other.

"I don't want to put my family on a diet just because I am".......might need more thought.

"I'm changing our entire household's eating habits because I want this cycle to end. I don't want them to face the issues I did. I want their lives and their relationship with food to be better than mine."

Sometimes I think when we continue to feed our families junk while we diet....we create this feedback loop of longing for the comfort we feel we're giving them. And it's messed up...because again, it lacks compassion for ourselves. It continues to give food power and emphasis. Worse...it TEACHES that food is comfort and love....And it doesn't break the cycle:(

I'm not saying kids shouldn't have treats and balance and junk food once in a while. God knows they will. LOL. And it's fine.

I'm just sayin....we could do a lot to improve their everyday diets in ways that would serve them well in life. We could give them better skills and better prepare them for taking care of their health. We can provide a better normal.

Do some thinking today about the food culture at your house growing up, the food culture you give your kids currently...and the food culture you hope your kids will have when they grow up. It's worth considering.

Edited July 14, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

I just think a trip in and out,of refrigeration is a study,in silliness. That chicken is equally nutritious, if you buy it hot and if you buy it cold. Same bird after all. Rather,like beverages in Ohio, if you consume,them on the restaurants premises you pay taxes, even on a outside patio . If you buy it, say it's "To Go" you don't have to pay. Many times I've seen people buy something then sit on the street curb and drink it. Technically it's on the city's right of way. Years ago when we vacationed in Florida, hubby,wanted to go into a racetrack, left me and the children in the car. Didn't know it is illegal for minors to be there in that state. Had to leave the,parking lot and go across to a private lot across the street and pay to sit there while hubby finished what he was doing. My good friend who lives,along the Ohio,River said,they had to do their fooling around in Ohio, because if they went to Kentucky or West Virginia he could be charged with taking her "across state lines for immoral purposes." I said " Oh yeah, like the FBI,is going to bother to haul you in?"

Kids are def different from spouses. You can cook better for your husband but ultimately he’s an adult and can do as he pleases. But you make a choice for your children.
My family has a predisposition to obesity and my sister is being very cautious with her twins. They are one but she is making sure that they eat well rounded meals. And knows that “treats” will be few and far between. When we were rewarded as kids it was a Happy Meal. Now, I know not to use food as a reward. I think another consideration is to keep our youth more active. The internet, video games, and phones have made our youth super lazy and uninterested in actual activities. It’s something I will be very mindful of when I have children.
But to Creeks point about how she was taught to “entertain” with food. I feel the same way. My grandma always offers food or drink the *moment* you walk in. She stocks her fridge for visitors, not herself. I think culture needs to change. Too many things revolve around food. My sister and I were talking about Christmas, and she said she didn’t want her girls to get wrapped up in the idea that it’s about gifts. She started listing why the holidays are important, and food made the top 5.
Ultimately, society won’t change but we can pass down good habits to our children and stop the trends that cause obesity in our families. I want my children to love green veggies and fish. So I’ll feed them those things and teach them about nutrition from an early age.

On 07/15/2018 at 10:29, sillykitty said:

Actually SNAP (food stamps) cannot be used on prepared food. So fast food restaurants cannot accept SNAP.

What you see is signs on fast food restaurants "EBT Accepted". EBT is Electronic Benefit Transfer. That's the new version of a welfare check. So a person on government assistance is issued a debit card, and loaded on to it is either or both, "food stamps" (SNAP) and "welfare" (EBT). The "welfare" benefit can be used without restriction, pulled out of an ATM as cash for example. But the SNAP benefit is restricted as to what it can be used on, non prepared foods only.

That’s actually not 100% correct. It can’t be used on prepared *hot* food. It can be used on cold. So if it’s a pre-made salad or even food that is meant to be warmed. Like our grocery store has a pizza and Chinese counter. They always put left over Chinese food in containers to sell in the deli section. It’s cold and SNAP can be used for it.

5 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

That’s actually not 100% correct. It can’t be used on prepared *hot* food. It can be used on cold. So if it’s a pre-made salad or even food that is meant to be warmed. Like our grocery store has a pizza and Chinese counter. They always put left over Chinese food in containers to sell in the deli section. It’s cold and SNAP can be used for it.

Yes, that is correct, more precise than what I wrote

That only applies where there is no place to "eat in", like most grocery stores.

This is an education I never expected to get with this thread. LOL. Interesting, though. How weird!

On 07/15/2018 at 11:49, Frustr8 said:

Once the rotisserie chickens at Wal-Martha's been refrigerated they set them back out and you can get them on an EBT card or Snap. Don't quite seem right.

I’ve got friends and family on food stamps. I know people who really abuse the resource. Buying crab legs and expensive steaks. I’d be much happier to see a family buy a hot rotisserie chicken to feed the family for $6 than something grossly extravagant. The resources are there for those who need it, it gets frustrated to see it abused.

I don’t have kids myself so I cannot speak to that perspective so much. However I do have nieces and nephews. My brother and his wife have taken the healthy food thing too far. My 12 year old niece should not necessarily know “oh that has a lot of calories in it” yes I would want them making healthy choices but I would not want my niece to have an unhealthy body image problem going into her teen years. They have made it uncomfortable to be around them at family holidays bc of how much they discuss healthy food and this and that. There should be a point when you just enjoy if it’s a family function or holiday and not make others feel so uncomfortable. Moderation and controlling your potion sizes is always a good idea to keep in mind.

On 07/15/2018 at 17:11, Kella112 said:

I don’t have kids myself so I cannot speak to that perspective so much. However I do have nieces and nephews. My brother and his wife have taken the healthy food thing too far. My 12 year old niece should not necessarily know “oh that has a lot of calories in it” yes I would want them making healthy choices but I would not want my niece to have an unhealthy body image problem going into her teen years. They have made it uncomfortable to be around them at family holidays bc of how much they discuss healthy food and this and that. There should be a point when you just enjoy if it’s a family function or holiday and not make others feel so uncomfortable. Moderation and controlling your potion sizes is always a good idea to keep in mind.

Sounds like a happy medium is needed. Hard to achieve, who knows? I know I want my children to know about protein, carbs, fats, sugar, ect. I don’t want them counting their calories or worrying about being “fat” but it’s all about how you focus the conversation. Its also about using the right words.

10 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

But to Creeks point about how she was taught to “entertain” with food. I feel the same way. My grandma always offers food or drink the *moment* you walk in. She stocks her fridge for visitors, not herself. I think culture needs to change. Too many things revolve around food. My sister and I were talking about Christmas, and she said she didn’t want her girls to get wrapped up in the idea that it’s about gifts. She started listing why the holidays are important, and food made the top 5.

@AshAsh1 ... just to play devil's advocate here ...

Is welcoming with food, stocking the house for guests, really a bad thing? Is this something we should rid from our culture? Is it even possible to do so? Is it part of human DNA? Making guest feel welcome with food, usually better and more plentiful than the norm is universal. The custom dates back to the beginning of recorded history. It may be slaughtering an animal to honor guests in a poor rural village to a state dinner at the White House. I keep Whiskey, Gin, Chardonnay, etc. in my house, and that is solely for guests, is that a bad thing, or am I a good host?

Many cultures are much more food oriented than the US, but they don't have an obesity problem. For example, Italy, meals are a long drawn out experience, with multiple courses. In Vietnam fast economical street food is available every five feet, and most meals are eaten out instead of at home (in cities at least). Both of these example cultures food is more central to daily life than for most in the US, why aren't they as obese as the US?

For holidays, specials foods have always marked special occasions, again across all cultures and back through history. So are holidays the problem, or is lack of balance in modern US life the problem?

Some food for thought

On 07/15/2018 at 17:27, sillykitty said:

@AshAsh1 ... just to play devil's advocate here ...

Is welcoming with food, stocking the house for guests, really a bad thing? Is this something we should rid from our culture? Is it even possible to do so? Is it part of human DNA? Making guest feel welcome with food, usually better and more plentiful than the norm is universal. The custom dates back to the beginning of recorded history. It may be slaughtering an animal to honor guests in a poor rural village to a state dinner at the White House. I keep Whiskey, Gin, Chardonnay, etc. in my house, and that is solely for guests, is that a bad thing, or am I a good host?

Many cultures are much more food oriented than the US, but they don't have an obesity problem. For example, Italy, meals are a long drawn out experience, with multiple courses. In Vietnam fast economical street food is available every five feet, and most meals are eaten out instead of at home (in cities at least). Both of these example cultures food is more central to daily life than for most in the US, why aren't they as obese as the US?

For holidays, specials foods have always marked special occasions, again across all cultures and back through history. So are holidays the problem, or is lack of balance in modern US life the problem?

Some food for thought

I’m actually the same way, I entertain with food. I always have stuff in the pantry for guests that we don’t actually eat. For example, we keep a stock of s’more supplies because people like to use the fire pit when they come visit. I have a garage fridge stocked with beverages that we don’t drink. I don’t think it’s a bad thing necessarily, but it depends on the family. I get joy cooking large family dinners (15-20 adults that come). I don’t think I’m wrong for that. But I do think that I see how food is so much imbedded in our family gatherings. We rarely do activities that don’t involve food.
If I were to make an assumption based on why the US is more obese than other countries with the same cultural norms, I’d say it’s our portion control. You don’t realize until you’ve gotten a dinner plate in Japan or Germany, that the US serves a ridiculously large portion. Also, it could be the readiness and availability processed foods and added sugar.
It also could be the lack of balance between food and activity.
All these things play a roll.

30 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I’ve got friends and family on food stamps. I know people who really abuse the resource. Buying crab legs and expensive steaks. I’d be much happier to see a family buy a hot rotisserie chicken to feed the family for $6 than something grossly extravagant. The resources are there for those who need it, it gets frustrated to see it abused.

@AshAsh1 .... this is not directed at you, I'm sure i seems like I'm picking on you today

As @Tealael alluded to, criticisms and wanting to control of how "poor" people use benefits is often a dog whistle for a lot uglier sentiments, like racism and classism.

Of course any benefit can and will be misused. But SNAP is not subject to wide spread abuse.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/04/04/what-many-americans-get-wrong-about-food-stamps-according-to-an-economist/?utm_term=.3c1242181774

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/12/20/255819681/the-truth-behind-the-lies-of-the-original-welfare-queen

On 07/15/2018 at 17:54, sillykitty said:

@AshAsh1 .... this is not directed at you, I'm sure i seems like I'm picking on you today

As @Tealael alluded to, criticisms and wanting to control of how "poor" people use benefits is often a dog whistle for a lot uglier sentiments, like racism and classism.

Of course any benefit can and will be misused. But SNAP is not subject to wide spread abuse.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/04/04/what-many-americans-get-wrong-about-food-stamps-according-to-an-economist/?utm_term=.3c1242181774

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/12/20/255819681/the-truth-behind-the-lies-of-the-original-welfare-queen

I know your not picking on me LOL I love our talks. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I don’t think everyone abuses it. I have a family member who has a family of 4 and they make approx 21k per year. I know it’s much needed. I’m glad it’s a resource for those who do. I just get frustrated when it’s not used for nutritious and effective ways. If you spend all your money on crab legs and can’t feed your family (besides ramen noodles) the rest of the month—that is when I get upset.

19 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

If I were to make an assumption based on why the US is more obese than other countries with the same cultural norms, I’d say it’s our Portion Control. You don’t realize until you’ve gotten a dinner plate in Japan or Germany, that the US serves a ridiculously large portion. Also, it could be the readiness and availability processed foods and added sugar.
It also could be the lack of balance between food and activity.
All these things play a roll.

Yeah, the biggest difference I see is activity level, and potentially the amount of processed ingredients. Those two things are vastly different in the US vs. most of the rest of the world.

Funny, I had always heard how large US portion sizes are compared to everywhere else. You know, in Italy the portions are small, that's how they eat multiple courses, right? That has so not been my experience! The only exception I have experienced has been Japan, definitely small portions there. Even in SE Asia portions were larger than I had anticipated, but I suspect locals would order fewer courses or share among more people.

31 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I just get frustrated when it’s not used for nutritious and effective ways. If you spend all your money on crab legs and can’t feed your family (besides ramen noodles) the rest of the month—that is when I get upset.

I think a lot of that is the psychology of poverty. When the long term outlook is bleak, people focus on the short term.

https://phys.org/news/2012-11-poverty-people-focus-short-term.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/11/your-brain-on-poverty-why-poor-people-seem-to-make-bad-decisions/281780/

I breastfed all my kids into toddlerhood and served mainly whole foods - always vegetables with the main course and homemade treats - oatmeal cookies, homemade pizza too. I was a poor military wife and on food stamps - but I learned better nutrition from La Leche League, I made all my own bread for years and years. My kids were not fat, thought yogurt was an amazing 'treat'. They all like most vegetables and eat nearly anything to this day. I used portion control with treats.

I was devastated when the 2 middle kids of the 4 developed type 1 diabetes, I was totally devastated. Of course it was no one's fault - and there are no family members that have type 1 other than these two. Anyway....at least adapting to eating like diabetics was not difficult for the family.

My bio sisters/brothers are/were not obese, my bio mother was not obese, nor my bio father. I was not raised by them. My paternal aunt and husband raised me from infancy and produced mega self-esteem issues in me. I used food for major comfort, was only slightly chubby all through school, weighed 135 in high school. Fast forward - I continued to eat for comfort in my alcoholic marriage for 18 years...piled on the pounds.

And so on......but I still celebrate with food, food is meant to be enjoyed within reason. I think food at family functions is an important aspect that I am not going to give up. (But there are no chips in my house unless a non-resident brings them over)

We eat too much processed food and took home-ec out of schools, need to require nutrition, how to shop for food, and cooking classes with those SNAP benefits. They actually did that for people on food stamps in Hawaii through the home extension programs. We also need to move more, some states don't require gym class either..we need balance.