Hi all!

So today is exactly one week out from my scope pre-op; also next Thursday is my 5/6 of the required non-surgical weight-loss regimen apts needed by my insurance. Today I have a bit of nerves because I suddenly got the urge to tell my family. I am not ashamed of the surgery at all, however I am one of six girls and each and every one of us are very opinionated lol! I love that about us but in regards to this I just want their support (which I am sure I will have) not their opinions. I was going to wait until

I had approval and a surgery day to tell them all but a friend of mind made a good point to me; if any of them were to have a scope done or anything like it...I would want to know beforehand not after. So out of respect to them I am going to tell them tonight. I am only nervous because once I tell them it becomes that much more real you know? Did any of y'all have nerves like this before telling your family? My husband and mother know. I notified my boss and director this week so it only seems right that I tell my family now.

Do you all think I should wait or jut out with it? I have bad anxiety and this is just one of those thing that's been weighing on me; my husband thinks it's part of the reason I had such a bad panic/anxiety attack this past weekend.

i was going to tell you to not say anything to anyone but i dont think you can go that route.

You will have to tell and just hope the support you need is forthcoming.

good luck

On 07/13/2018 at 16:13, allwet said:

i was going to tell you to not say anything to anyone but i dont think you can go that route.

You will have to tell and just hope the support you need is forthcoming.

good luck

Thank you!

Why do you say not to tell anyone?

I think Id have more of a panic by telling hem and worrying about , getting irritated with the opinions and conversations that would take place- and perhaps judgement . I chose to not tell anyone but my husband and I’m glad I made that choice

You do you- good luck tonight!

On 07/13/2018 at 17:23, BostonWLKC said:

I think Id have more of a panic by telling hem and worrying about , getting irritated with the opinions and conversations that would take place- and perhaps judgement . I chose to not tell anyone but my husband and I’m glad I made that choice



You do you- good luck tonight!

Thank you!!

2 hours ago, KatallacStrong said:

Why do you say not to tell anyone?

you can never untell so i prefer to limit the number

and the constant negativity of some you tell will wear on you

pre op is a long process and they will have a lot of time to pick at you and cause you to doubt yourself

Edited July 13, 20188 yr by allwet

I was nervous, but I told my family for a few reasons. The first was that my surgery will likely be scheduled around Thanksgiving and it's going to be hard explaining why I'm not eating at a holiday where the main event is eating Besides that though, I didn't want to keep it a secret from them. I also like being able to talk to my sister about it and I wouldn't be able to do this if I hadn't told her. I was nervous to tell them, but I was more nervous to keep it a secret. I felt so much better after telling them. I totally understand those who want to keep it private, though. I've told one close friend, but other than that, I haven't told any of my other friends and I probably won't. Ultimately do what makes you feel the best If you do tell them and any of them are unsupportive, lean on those who are supportive and hopefully the others will come around. Good luck!

On 07/13/2018 at 18:52, anonbaribabe said:

I was nervous, but I told my family for a few reasons. The first was that my surgery will likely be scheduled around Thanksgiving and it's going to be hard explaining why I'm not eating at a holiday where the main event is eating Besides that though, I didn't want to keep it a secret from them. I also like being able to talk to my sister about it and I wouldn't be able to do this if I hadn't told her. I was nervous to tell them, but I was more nervous to keep it a secret. I felt so much better after telling them. I totally understand those who want to keep it private, though. I've told one close friend, but other than that, I haven't told any of my other friends and I probably won't. Ultimately do what makes you feel the best If you do tell them and any of them are unsupportive, lean on those who are supportive and hopefully the others will come around. Good luck!

Thanks anonbaribabe! I definitely want to tell them...I’m just unsure when to tell them; do I wait until I’m approved and have a date? Or do I just tell hem tonight? I think I’m going to tell Jen tonight for the same reasons you’ve mentioned but I’m not going to keep it a secret at all although like you; I totally get it for those that do.

Thanks again for your input!?

I completely understand your thoughts and anxiety over this. My fiancé was the only one who knew everything I was going through step by step. I stressed a lot over telling my family , mostly my parents bc my cousin had WLS (she hid it from extended fam and we “accidentally “ found out even though we all already knew she had it done) and there was some negative feedback from my family about her having it. I wound up telling my parents and siblings and have had nothing but support from them. Talk about taking weight off your shoulders ! I am glad I told the, bc it was causing me stress to hide it. Now, I’m about to start my pre op diet and need all the support I can get!
Whatever you decide, I hope it works well for you.

Do you think your mother may have aleady mentioned it to any of your sisters?

How did it go ?

I would tell them. I too freaked out while going through the process of WLS. I only started telling people once I got approved and had a date

On 7/13/2018 at 6:46 PM, allwet said:

you can never untell so i prefer to limit the number

and the constant negativity of some you tell will wear on you

pre op is a long process and they will have a lot of time to pick at you and cause you to doubt yourself

Oh I understand now. I did end up telling them and it was about a 50/50 outcome. Half were happy for me and the other half has something smart to say. This is my decision to have this surgery so snarky comments aside, I am glad to have told them all.

On 7/13/2018 at 8:40 PM, HealthierME2018 said:

I completely understand your thoughts and anxiety over this. My fiancé was the only one who knew everything I was going through step by step. I stressed a lot over telling my family , mostly my parents bc my cousin had WLS (she hid it from extended fam and we “accidentally “ found out even though we all already knew she had it done) and there was some negative feedback from my family about her having it. I wound up telling my parents and siblings and have had nothing but support from them. Talk about taking weight off your shoulders ! I am glad I told the, bc it was causing me stress to hide it. Now, I’m about to start my pre op diet and need all the support I can get!
Whatever you decide, I hope it works well for you.

Hey! I agree, hiding it from loved one is really stressful; more stressful than needed with all that goes on in this pre-op stage. I told them and glad I did; I never wanted to hide it...I just wanted to be further along so they wouldn't try to talk me out of it. It took me two years to talk myself into it lol! Good luck on your pre-op diet!!

On 7/13/2018 at 11:45 PM, 2shea said:

Do you think your mother may have aleady mentioned it to any of your sisters?

No she didn't tell any of them. There are six of us and we all confide in her with different things. I told her that I would tell them eventually and she respected that. She helped explain it to them all once I did let the cat out of the bag.

On 7/14/2018 at 7:03 AM, BostonWLKC said:

How did it go ?

You're too sweet for asking how it went! So my mom and my little sister already knew right? My oldest sister had a smartass remark, but that is typical of her so I am not surprised. What I was suprised at was my second oldest sister didn't say a word; not one word. The third one was happy for me and supports my decision like my mom and baby sister. The sister that is just older than me has a snarky remark talking about "If I got rid of carbonation and carbs I'd lose weight too.....and that wouldn't require surgery" I just swallowed my words and told her that I have tried that for years now.

I gave up carbonation and didn't see a pound go which is very strange since a lot of people see like a 10 pound loss in a month when they give up soda. I have limited my carbs and typically only eat the healthy carbs (brown rice, baked sweet potatoes, etc) so by her saying that it just rubbed me the wrong way. She too is no athlete so I just had to brush it off. Overall I feel like I got a good response. The ones that made crude comments will just have to watch my progression.

Thanks again for asking!