Good morning...I had VSG 1/26/18, I'm down 53.8 lbs to date and I'm super happy about that, however this week, I'm having a mental issue. I feel exactly the same as I did previous to surgery. I feel like I'm fat, worthless, not doing well, a failure.... My "normal" brain understands that's not true. My "normal" brain knows how much I've accomplished. What do you guys do to combat the mental part?? I need some advice.

I think a lot of folks expect the surgery to fix their tummy and their head at the same time....and it's just not true. A lot of people struggle with their new normal, and finding a way to resolve some of the emotional scars of obesity.

Could it hurt to talk to a weight loss therapist? If that's possible for you....I'd strongly recommend it. Not because you "need" it....but because it's helpful and can give you some great strategies to emotionally metabolize all of the positive things going on in your life.

Best wishes!

I think this is pretty normal for us non-normal folks. I'm right there with ya girl! It's part of the process. And part of the post anesthesia blues. Get active!!! Eat right. Follow your doc's plan. Go walking in the sunshine. Join your fam and friends for non-food related get-togethers and re-experience living life. Take each day as it comes. Some will be good. Some will be not-so-great and you just get through them and finish them. Then you're on to the next day with new possibilities.

But if these feelings linger, then you probably would benefit from exploring them with a therapist trained in bariatrics. ((hugs))

2 hours ago, cc1018 said:

Good morning...I had VSG 1/26/18, I'm down 53.8 lbs to date and I'm super happy about that, however this week, I'm having a mental issue. I feel exactly the same as I did previous to surgery. I feel like I'm fat, worthless, not doing well, a failure.... My "normal" brain understands that's not true. My "normal" brain knows how much I've accomplished. What do you guys do to combat the mental part?? I need some advice.

53.8 down! Great work.

Therapy and counseling are great advice.

With the rapid weight loss, Your mind might not be able to see your physical self correctly. It took me a year to see myself as smaller. It's a bit of body dysmorphia for me. I hid from photos and mirrors for a long time.

Some things to try:

Keep a pair of pants in the size of your high weight. When you are having a bad day put them on to remind yourself how far you have come.

Changing the way you talk to yourself. All the negatives things you tell yourself (fat, worthless, not doing well, failure) It takes practice and time. It's time to make peace with your life. Forgive yourself, heal from past hurts and love yourself again. Be your biggest cheerleader. The only validation needed life comes from you.

Another bariatric patients gave me this advice: Once your weight settles around your goal. If you are still not seeing yourself correctly. Place a photo of your smaller self on your bathroom mirror. Look at it daily before you head out the door to work etc...

I have the same moments. All the sudden panic sets in and I think to myself, "DID I REALLY WEAR THAT YESTERDAY?" "I MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE A COW IN THAT DRESS".

The newest thing, is that I find it hard to wear clothes that actually fit. Especially shirts, because if it sits on my sides like a shirt that fits would... I get anxiety. I'm so used to baggy clothes now that shirts that fit make me feel bigger.

I just have to continuously remind myself that one day these problems will be a thing of the past. I'm only half way through my journey to goal. And a life time away from maintaining.

Ash Ash you are no longer a Fat Cow, you are slimmer, trimmer and a gazelle. If not yet, you are in your ? so rock,it that way. Do it that way,and,it will become that way. And in the words of the late Telly Savalas "who,loves ya,? baby?"
Answer: WE ALLL DO!?

3 minutes ago, Frustr8 said:

Ash Ash you are no longer a Fat Cow, you are slimmer, trimmer and a gazelle. If not yet, you are in your ? so rock,it that way. Do it that way,and,it will become that way. And in the words of the late Telly Savalas "who,loves ya,? baby?"
Answer: WE ALLL DO!?

thank you

3 hours ago, cc1018 said:

Good morning...I had VSG 1/26/18, I'm down 53.8 lbs to date and I'm super happy about that, however this week, I'm having a mental issue. I feel exactly the same as I did previous to surgery. I feel like I'm fat, worthless, not doing well, a failure.... My "normal" brain understands that's not true. My "normal" brain knows how much I've accomplished. What do you guys do to combat the mental part?? I need some advice.

Don't we all, If i had the say over it i would remove all those months of pre surgey crap they put us thru and replace it with 6 months of therapy post surgery cause we have a hell of a mental fight to win after it is said and done.

9 minutes ago, allwet said:

Don't we all, If i had the say over it i would remove all those months of pre surgey crap they put us thru and replace it with 6 months of therapy post surgery cause we have a hell of a mental fight to win after it is said and done.

Good morning...I had VSG 1/26/18, I'm down 53.8 lbs to date and I'm super happy about that, however this week, I'm having a mental issue. I feel exactly the same as I did previous to surgery. I feel like I'm fat, worthless, not doing well, a failure.... My "normal" brain understands that's not true. My "normal" brain knows how much I've accomplished. What do you guys do to combat the mental part?? I need some advice.

Selfies
Sounds vain but body dysmorphia is a trip and you can't always see the difference in real life. But pictures can clearly show progress !!!


HW 270
SW 238
CW 188
VSG 11/7
[emoji471][emoji471][emoji471]

And ladies, I have a slightly different slant yet. You see I've. not had the Fat Brain, almost the reverse. In my mind superficially at,least I am 175-185 pounds, maybe not Smokin Hot but glowing along pretty nicely. Then I go by a mirror, with my bad luck usually 3-way, I look and say Who is that fat ungainly ugly elephant in my mirror?. I reach out and touch the mirror andvrwalize it's ME. And I start to cry, usually I back up and sit in the nearest chair. but often I then put both hands on there and still cry. I am a good person, a kind person, even a wonderful person but someone or something has put me in this fat ugly knobby suit and I can't pull myself free, it is glued with industrial grade Super Glue to me.
So I stop eating as much as my Ghrelin Monster would like , as often. as GM would like, sometimes I don't given him anything after Breakfast, some days I let him hurt and don't even listen at breakfast, he's hurting me, why should I be kind to him? And when I do eat, I don't get a sense of satisfaction, I eat my little portion, and I stop because I feel sick. My son starts to worry, I'm natually eating a half to third what he does, but then 2 hours later it's Hello up there in the thinking center......I've tried to just drink,unflavored water or a protein shake at this point. Weight should be dropping off like dandruff scales? Nope, my forarmsand wrists are getting thinner, thighs, hips, belly, not that I can notice. I'd revert to a bad diet, but nothing appeals over there, and if this is a stall do I want to imperil another NSV as well as a real scale one? I'm supposed to be a "wise woman" someone younger people consult because of life experience, I don't resent being the Wise Woman of the Mountain as much as the Wide Woman the size of a Mountain. Please help me joy in All This. I keep on keeping on, but fear something is going to snap and then I'll need a keeper. Instead of chasing the bright elusive Butterfly of Love I'm chasing the invisible butterfly of a Commited Surgery Date. What if I see it after all in the distance, when I get close enough,to trap it, my butterfly net has big holes in it, the Butterfly flies on through and escapes? Do on stand there with egg all over,my face, start crying, or throw myself down on the ground and have a full- blown tantrum? There may be sunlight still ahead for,me, but I am growing old and weary, how strong do my glasses have to be for me to see it?
Your friendly neighborhood Queen of Frstr8tion,ME??

I know exactly what you mean! I feel exactly like I did before the surgery, and because the weight isn't dripping off me, I am feeling frustrated right now but I also know we are fighters. I personally am seeing a counselor 1x/week to discuss my challenges. I am not too proud to say that I can't do this myself. Maybe you have someone available for you to discuss your journey?

When I'm shopping, I still go straight to the plus size rack and look at size 22 or 24. Which is crazy...because I fit into mostly 14's and 16's these days (depending on the maker...women's clothes sizes suck...no rhyme or reason to them)

But yeah...

My bestie keeps dragging me out of the plus sizes and handing me 14's to try on. And they fit great.

But it still feels very weird.

(and really cool!)

But mostly....totally weird. LOL:)

What I've been doing here recently is looking through my Facebook pictures. I compare my older pictures with my newer ones and try to imprint the difference.

You are never NOT going to feel fat because that's what you're used to. Going years habitually putting yourself down - unknowingly or not - is hard to break once you get to your goal. Whenever you feel that way, just look through pictures of yourself and take notice of the change, it helps more than it sounds like it does.

Oh I will and shall need someone to,prep grounded so I don't fly,off in a little red balloon?on a flight of fancy. But I will do better, less depressed, feel better, look thinner and be in a more,cheerful frame,of mind when I'm presenting less of me to public view. It would be nice if they,all started. ?me but much more important that I do first ?me.?