My man says that having the VSG surgery is cheating with weight loss. I am down 60 pounds since 10/11/17. He does not understand that VSG is only a tool. I get so frustrated trying to defend my reasoning for the surgery. How is everyone else handling this?

Personally I said dump him because I assumed she had already discussed all of this with him since she has had the surgery already. The journey is hard enough why add on struggling with a boyfriend over it?

I have been banded 16 years and as weight loss surgery was becoming more popular I think even Oprah did a talk show segment on surgery and called it " the easy way out". I am sick of even seeing people on here who have decided to get rid of bands and will just "eat healthier and excercise more"..uhh..yeah right...we all tried that...over and over and over. The statistics are that only 5% of people who lose weight will keep it off 5 years or longer. That is what got me to surgery back in 2002. I decided was sick of pushing that rock up the hill only to have it come back down at me again and again and again...

Surgery is never an easy way out..it is being realistic that food is not only life sustaining, it is pleasurable and necessary. Portion sizes are out of control and we have access to a lot of very tasty food that is hard to resist..even healthy food has calories and too many will make you gain. I got the surgery not really to lose the weight (I call that the side benefit) but to KEEP IT OFF!! I want to be that 5% finally who KEEPS IT OFF!!!

So tell your boyfriend those statistics and then ask him again if he thinks you are cheating...you are just tired of pushing that rock up the hill..and also heading towards obesity related illnesses and issues you would rather not have..CHEAT AWAY!!

Congrats on the loss..you do you...don't worry about the outside "noise" even from loved ones....

Surgery is only a tool but it's not easy. I've just gone through almost two rather grueling weeks. In the end, it's all about a tool that works. I don't want to be a part of the 90-95% that lost weight and fail to keep it off any longer. Getting off of the yo-yo train feels good

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Surgery is only a tool but it's not easy. I've just gone through almost two rather grueling weeks. In the end, it's all about a tool that works. I don't want to be a part of the 90-95% that lost weight and fail to keep it off any longer. Getting off of the yo-yo train feels good

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Have you had your surgery? Mine is in 10 days.

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Have you had your surgery? Mine is in 10 days.

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Yup, I had mine on March 12th.

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Any relationship that isn’t supportive is toxic in every sense of the word. I was in a physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive relationship.. not only was I a prisoner to my own body and health but a prisoner to someone else by allowing him to making me feel low,not worthy, ugly and like I had nowhere and nobody else to go to. Slowly rebuilding myself (now 6yrs out of a abusive relationship) in a health relationship now. He is super athletic and healthy.. motivates and encourages me to keep going (I mentioned the surgery option to help me along the way) and he is supportive.

I know someone mentioned that he might be jealous (I have to agree with that) you should try to encourage him to join you on your journey (even if he doesn’t need the surgery himself) and assure him you’ll still be there in the end.. maybe he fears he’ll lose you once you lose the weight? ... it’s good to vent about things but it’s also good to think things through too.

I wish you nothing but good health, happiness to the fullest, support, and success!


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Your man is showing his ignorance and insecurity. The sleeve brings on it's own emotional and mental challenges. Who needs this s*#t from their significant other? Not you.

Dating is to determine compatibility.

This is a data point in that determination.

Also, heck if you can “cheat” your way into weight loss, health and a hotter body (not gonna get into that argument, but I will say the body will be hotter by most standards) why not?

It may be making him insecure that you will be thin and leave him.

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He doesn't seem to realize his own actions may make it so. It is sad this had to surface, even when you think you have somebody figured out they throw a monkey wrench into life.[emoji42]

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