Ok, so I'm pretty much a vampire. I haven't appeared in a single family photo or event pic in the last 20-30 years or so. I CAN NOT STAND having my piccy taken. (Am I yelling? Cuz I feel like I am?) You know what I'm tawkin' 'bout?

So yesterday I got as dolled up as I ever get, which ahem, means I bathed, brushed my teeth, dried and scrunched up my hair--but I went out on a limb and put on a tiny bit of makeup. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus of the golden fleece diapers, I looked hot. I felt hot. I felt like this! I swear! You shoulda seen me struttin' my hot stuff through the lemon jello section. Mama June, give. it. up. Cuz I was smokin'. You get the picture? In case you don't, I could be this chix sistah from another mistah!

So I screwed up the courage, called myself Felicia, and asked Mr. F. to pop off a few "before photos" so I can use them for comparison. I will suffer through another round the morning of surgery, and then will take them periodically throughout the journey to Oz. (Thank you @James Marusek. I will be eternally grateful for this advice.)

When I looked at them, I almost cried. I thought I'd made such progress. I felt "thin" at my 235lbs. I mean look up at my twin right there. What happened? I almost went outside and ate worms. Not part of my pre-op plan to be sure, but still a powerful source of protein and fiber if you're so inclined...Oh, what I look like...

Do any of you feel the same way or have you had the same experiences??? Just so you know...

Ring, ring...

Hello selfies?

Go screw yourself! Signed,

Sincerely yours,

Body Dysmorphic in Houston

Edited February 5, 20188 yr by FluffyChix

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread!! I FEEL like I look like this, all muscle and fit....but alas, I know it's not true. But, I will learn to embrace and love myself, ALL of myself!!! Even in pics when they clearly show I am not as I feel. haha

1 minute ago, Newme17 said:

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread!! I FEEL like I look like this, all muscle and fit....but alas, I know it's not true. But, I will learn to embrace and love myself, ALL of myself!!! Even in pics when they clearly show I am not as I feel. haha

Dayum! Another of my twins! LOL!!!

I love this thread too! It's so funny, I'm really banking on hurting less when I lose the weight. It's not a case of deferred living...it's really more about that right now, I'm maxing my activity levels due to my pain with "weight appropriate" exercises. It's a vast improvement over 10months ago at this time, but let's be honest. The activities and level of activity will never get me to that smokin' hot and toned bod above--or even to my secret Baywatch bod. LOL. That is gonna take some serious strength training and core exercises which I dearly need!

But I am actually looking forward to the day when I can start building that body for my own. (Or some semblance of it--haha)

It's so funny how internally, I feel like I'm in my early to mid-20s and looking at the latest piccys, not only do I not have this body, but aparently at some point in the last 30 years, I got old looking! Old looking, can you imagine? hehe. Yes, even if I don't get to this level of fit, I WILL learn to love my body as it stands. Wanna make a pact? Let's do this thing and nail it!

14 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

I WILL learn to love my body as it stands. Wanna make a pact? Let's do this thing and nail it!

Absolutely!!!! Let's nail it...LOVING ourselves as we are or get to be.

Hey, did you know that for every pound you lose, it takes off about 4lbs of pressure off your knees? You will indeed hurt less with the loss. Keep looking forward to more of it!!!

Just now, Newme17 said:

Absolutely!!!! Let's nail it...LOVING ourselves as we are or get to be.

Hey, did you know that for every pound you lose, it takes off about 4lbs of pressure off your knees? You will indeed hurt less with the loss. Keep looking forward to more of it!!!

Dayum! I'll take that any day over having my non-existent penis grow 1 inch. I'm seriously looking forward to giving the hips and spine a rest! Do you know how many pounds of pressure is reduced in those areas?

1 minute ago, FluffyChix said:

Do you know how many pounds of pressure is reduced in those areas?

I don't, but now I'm intrigued. I'm going to look it up! I do know that building our cores will help significantly for the back and spine. I had hip bursitis...I was told it won't go away even with weight reduction...but I haven't felt that stupid pain for the past few months...so, with my experience, I'm quite sure it's weight reduction!!!

Now, I couldn't find the exact article/science from this guy, Dr Peyton, but here's a quote from a forum...which leads me to think it's pretty accurate, given the experience I've had with my hip not hurting and my knees finally getting a break!

“Every additional pound you carry equals 3 extra pounds of pressure on your hip joint, 4 extra pounds on your knee joint, and about 9 extra pounds on your patella femoral joint (which you use going up and down stairs, standing up, and getting off the toilet).”

19 minutes ago, Newme17 said:

Now, I couldn't find the exact article/science from this guy, Dr Peyton, but here's a quote from a forum...which leads me to think it's pretty accurate, given the experience I've had with my hip not hurting and my knees finally getting a break!

“Every additional pound you carry equals 3 extra pounds of pressure on your hip joint, 4 extra pounds on your knee joint, and about 9 extra pounds on your patella femoral joint (which you use going up and down stairs, standing up, and getting off the toilet).”

This is about what the orthopedist I saw recently told me, too -- he was incredibly supportive of my decision to get bariatric surgery. I have OA, so my knees/hips/lower back hurt, too. I just finished 4 weeks of PT and then I slipped and fell -- sigh. My poor knees.

Edited February 6, 20188 yr by Apple203

@Apple203 I'm excited to hear when your aches and pains have been diminished greatly or completely!!!! Got to get those knees feeling better....in due and appointed time. Yay!

@Newme17 That's so exciting that your bursitis pain has gone away or diminished! Thanks so much for looking up that information for us! It really gives me hope and makes me excited! I have OA and bilateral bursitis in both hips. I got a cortisone shot in the left one that helped me even be able to walk at all, but just sooo hate putting cortisone into my body, I'm bawking at having a second one on the right side. We discussed waiting until after surgery about 3months to decide.

@Apple203 Dayum! I'm so sorry to hear about your fall!!! ((hugs)) I hope PT helped you and your pain! OA sucks! Is the PT helping you get over the fall?

Nope, but she's taught me what exercises to do, and how to do them, so when the swelling is down a little more (maybe a day or two more?) I'll just start where we left off. I have droopy feet, so I fall a lot, LOL.

I had to do the cortisone and PT when I had the pain too. It was just awful. Just kept reminding how bad I needed to get my body in some kind of health and shape and I am too young for this mess. I hated PT, just made it feel worse. I've lost so far, 81 lbs...that's a pretty significant amount of pressure off of my body for which I'm so thankful for. Now, I'm on the quest for the last, very slowly coming off, 40lbs. I feel you...I couldn't move without so much pain too; you'll get there!

Edited February 6, 20188 yr by Newme17

20 minutes ago, Newme17 said:

I had to do the cortisone and PT when I had the pain too. It was just awful. Just kept reminding how bad I needed to get my body in some kind of health and shape and I am too young for this mess. I hated PT, just made it feel worse. I've lost so far, 81 lbs...that's a pretty significant amount of pressure off of my body for which I'm so thankful for. Now, I'm on the Quest for the last, very slowly coming off, 40lbs. I feel you...I couldn't move without so much pain too; you'll get there!

Dang!!! Congrats on the 81lbs. That's amazing!!! So glad your pain level has reduced!!! Your last 40lbs will continue to come off. You know it will. I have faith in you and your determination to live and eat a healthy diet. OMG on moving with the pain. PT was a double-edged sword for me. My arthritis doc said it's just a tradeoff. He said that I would never be pain free, so it's a matter of how much I can do while in bearable levels of pain. The PT made me stronger, have more endurance, but it really aggravated the hip condition. It's tough to lift my right thigh now cuz of it, but I can hang in there and hopefully with the weight loss things will improve!

26 minutes ago, Apple203 said:

Nope, but she's taught me what exercises to do, and how to do them, so when the swelling is down a little more (maybe a day or two more?) I'll just start where we left off. I have droopy feet, so I fall a lot, LOL.

Dang oh dang!! What caused the droopy feet? I'm sad you fall. You should totally check into the braces!!! Hope your knee swelling goes down!

10 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Dang oh dang!! What caused the droopy feet? I'm sad you fall. You should totally check into the braces!!! Hope your knee swelling goes down!

I really should look into braces, maybe after I lose some weight. :-) I have something called CMT (Charcot Marie Tooth) -- its pretty mild as far as it goes, but it is slowly progressive and I cant lift my toes off the floor anymore, so I trip over my toes!

Edited February 6, 20188 yr by Apple203

Crap girlie! So sorry to hear of this. I'd never heard of CMT before? The foot drop thing sucks! I have neuropathy from having hand-foot syndrome from super heavy duty chemotherapy. And sometimes the chemical burning and stinging are all you can stand. But thankfully, I just have numbness on parts of my feet, without the drop. ((hugs)) Does diet play any part in helping it get better at all (I know it's genetic--which parent had it)?