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SleeveDreams

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SleeveDreams    29

SleeveDreams
Posted

I am in the process of getting VSG and have not told anyone in my family. I do not want to tell them because they can be very judgmental. I want to do this surgery without letting my family know about this because I know for a fact that they will try to talk me out of it and my mind is 100% set on having this surgery done. Is there anyone who can relate to this? If so, how did you deal with it and what was the outcome? Thanks!

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Middus    491

Middus
Posted

Well, you know your family better than anyone, so the decision to tell them is up to you. It's nice to tell someone though..

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almost40ish    58

almost40ish
Posted

I can! My husband knows & a few friends, that's it. I don't want to deal with the judgment either!!! I've always been the only overweight one & the recipient of their unneeded pity. Ridiculous since I've never let my weight stop me from living my life the best I can! I just can't wait to see their faces as the pounds melt off. They are so quick to point out my flaw, it's gonna be interesting when they don't have that anymore.

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SleeveDreams    29

SleeveDreams
Posted

I can! My husband knows & a few friends, that's it. I don't want to deal with the judgment either!!! I've always been the only overweight one & the recipient of their unneeded pity. Ridiculous since I've never let my weight stop me from living my life the best I can! I just can't wait to see their faces as the pounds melt off. They are so quick to point out my flaw, it's gonna be interesting when they don't have that anymore.

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I told only 2 friends and the reason I told them is because they had the surgery as well. I wish I can tell my family because I want their support but unfortunately that won't happen!

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Armygalbonnie    643

Armygalbonnie
Posted

Don't tell them. I didn't tell my dad or a couple of close friends because they are all judgemental. I changed my eating habits 2 months before surgery so they saw me change my eating habits prior to surgery. I will never tell them.

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Wonder WomanNJ    119

Wonder WomanNJ
Posted

My mother particularly is very judgmental but she's so anti-fat that she was on board with me getting it done and VERY supportive. HOWEVER - now every single conversation starts with "how are you doing on your diet? Are you eating everything you're not supposed to be eating". So much for supportive, right? #annoyed

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SleeveDreams    29

SleeveDreams
Posted

My mother particularly is very judgmental but she's so anti-fat that she was on board with me getting it done and VERY supportive. HOWEVER - now every single conversation starts with "how are you doing on your diet? Are you eating everything you're not supposed to be eating". So much for supportive, right? #annoyed

That's exactly what I'm afraid of. If I put my foot down and let my family know that I'm sticking to it, they would have no choice but to be supportive. However, I know they would definitely monitor my eating and make sarcastic remarks whenever I want to treat myself. Oh and God forbid I experience weight gain....I would never hear the end of it!

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jleckert85    2

jleckert85
Posted

I thought my family would try to talk me out of it but surprisingly they are bring very supportive.. Now I don't care who knows.. there is still a few people who give me crap about it but it doesn't bother me.. I know what I want and no one is going to make me feel like crap because of it. Good luck!!

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strengthin#ers    195

strengthin#ers
Posted

I've told my mother and one brother (only because he had bypass 10yrs ago). I'm not telling any other family until afterwards. I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING......FROM ANYBODY!!!! I don't care who's momma best friend 23rd cousin on their step cousin aunts side almost died!!! So I totally understand, I don't even know what to tell my job. They won't know until I come back.

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SleeveDreams    29

SleeveDreams
Posted

I've told my mother and one brother (only because he had bypass 10yrs ago). I'm not telling any other family until afterwards. I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING......FROM ANYBODY!!!! I don't care who's momma best friend 23rd cousin on their step cousin aunts side almost died!!! So I totally understand, I don't even know what to tell my job. They won't know until I come back.

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I hear that!!!!

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Travelher    915

Travelher
Posted

My mother particularly is very judgmental but she's so anti-fat that she was on board with me getting it done and VERY supportive. HOWEVER - now every single conversation starts with "how are you doing on your diet? Are you eating everything you're not supposed to be eating". So much for supportive, right? #annoyed

OMG we have the same mother!

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iamOpalicious    53

iamOpalicious
Posted

I didn't tell anyone either until I was absolutely necessary. I had one doctors visit where I had to bring someone with me. By the time I told everyone a week before surgery, it was too late and I let them know in my opening statement that they can't talk me out, of it I've already made my decision my surgery is already scheduled I'm just letting you know so that you'll know where I am. Follow your gut, pray and talk to your doctors a lot. Get advice from people who are on here who have been through it

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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