I am struggling with what to say. My husband knows I'm having surgery and very supportive. But I can't tell anyone else. I tried in the past and just got shot down. No one understands it until they been through it. So my plan was to lie! Yup. I'm telling anyone who asked like work, that I'm having hernia surgery and will need some time off of work. I'm using my PTO and some work at home days. I'm very outgoing and everyone knows my life story.

I have family members who would frown upon it so just saying nothing.

Your thoughts.

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Your life, your body, your business, your story. I just tell people who ask how I have done it that I work out and eating healthier.... both true! GS 09/06/16.

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Yes like Lamar said..your business..everybody can't handle your business..smh..I told 2 coworkers before I went out and one kept bringing up weight stuff ..I told her I never discussed being big at work so don't question me getting small at work..I think she was resentful that I went thru with it when she was suppose to take the journey with me n bailed...good luck on your surgery n just worry about getting healthy.

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I've been telling people I don't want to talk to about it that it is a need to know basis, and they don't need to know. Just because someone knows you and is curious, they are not entitled to personal information.

I only told 3 friends and 2 family members. Only 1 of them knew before the surgery. Although I knew everyone would be supportive, I didn't want to be the centre of attention and discussion. I did tell everyone I was working on weight loss with a nutritionist and that I've changed the way eat to 3 small meals and 2 snacks each day.

Have fun with it like I am. Tell them that you are intentionally slimming down so that you can work in the adult film industry again. That will leave them questioning, again??? Usually when I'm asked how I am losing the weight I respond with "The Mexico water diet, I crap out all of my fat".

@@bossportsgal, the others have already said that you owe the info to no one. I'll add that you may want to make the secrecy easier on yourself. Instead of inventing a surgery and which you'll therefore have to remember, you can say, "Hey, see you later. I'm taking some time off?"

If you must fib, make it a big, fun one, as suggested by @. In fact I like the adult film story. I'd skip the rest of it -- so unattractive and unmistakably from the mind of the sort of boy who spent his school years in the principal's office.

I really hadn't told anyone except my supervisor at work (and I only told her that I was having some surgery for a health related issue). If I need supportive people, I can find them here, in this community of folks who knows exactly what I am going through.

They've said it best...your life, your business....tell or not tell anyone you want.

We will be here to support your decision.

I didn't tell anyone except for a really close friend whose husband went through it. I lied and told people I had my gallbladder removed which ended up happening a few months later lol! Anyway I didn't want to tell people because people just don't understand especially in my close knit community.

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Great question I told 3 co workers that's it at work. I was wondering what I'll say when I take off for 3 weeks : | But I really don't have to explain....

The only people who know I am having VSG are my husband, my mother (as I will need help with my little one post surgery) and my 2 best friends, I am not planning to tell anybody else. I had to inform work I am having some surgery, as the surgeon advised I will need to take around 2 weeks off but I didn't say which surgery (and neither was asked tbh). If someone asks I will probalby say gallbladder removal (I actually had it removed almost 15 years ago lol).

"Nunya"

"What?"

"None 'ya business!"

"Nacho"

"What?"
"Not yo' concern!"

"Are you on a diet?"
"Yup, I'm on the b1tchyouneedtoquit diet."

I had the VSG in August of 2016, and to date the only ones who know about it are my physicians, my husband, and my parents. I didn't have a need for anyone else to know, and nobody else had a need to know. I have complete confidence that my best friend since the age of 12 and many others in my life would have been fully supportive, but I simply wanted to keep it private. I've had health problems in the past, and felt like I had to manage the concerns of those who were worried about me, giving them reassurances that I'd be fine. If I told others I think I'd be in that position again. I'd feel obligated to explain the surgery, the minimal risks of it, my reasoning, and so forth, and to give updates. I also know that even well-meaning, trustworthy people can let something personal you've confided to them slip out. Once you put something out there, you cannot take it back, and you cannot control it.

I've only directly lied once, when at the beach and my friend got a glimpse of my stomach before I pulled a tee shirt over my bikini top. I have faint scars still. I told her they were from having hernia surgery. She accepted that, and the discussion was over in a minute. When people have commented on my weight loss I've told them the truth - that I've been using MyFitnessPal to track what I eat, biking to work rather than driving, and working out at the gym more.

If you want to say something about your surgery, then say it, but I recommend thinking it through first to consider how each person is likely to respond, and to not feel obligated to say anything about it at all.

@@bossportsgal, the others have already said that you owe the info to no one. I'll add that you may want to make the secrecy easier on yourself. Instead of inventing a surgery and which you'll therefore have to remember, you can say, "Hey, see you later. I'm taking some time off?"

If you must fib, make it a big, fun one, as suggested by @. In fact I like the adult film story. I'd skip the rest of it -- so unattractive and unmistakably from the mind of the sort of boy who spent his school years in the principal's office.

I spent very little time in the principals office with the exception of 2nd grade. Most of my demented mind comes from, as much as I hate to say this, Boy Scouts. When you get a bunch of adolescent boys together a lot of good times happen. I also spent six wonderful seasons as an "adult" teaching shooting sports at a Boy Scout camp. When you spend 8-10 weeks living with 35-50 guys some really crazy stuff happens. Great times!

@@bossportsgal

I am a strong supporter of not telling anyone. One of the reasons why is because you will always be that person that had surgery to people. Even when you are years post-op surgery effects are gone and you will still be that person that had surgery.

At almost 1.5 years I really don't feel like a surgery patient. Sure I have smaller capacity than other people but I can easily eat around my sleeve if I choose to. So I still have to make good choices like anyone else. I know a lot of people always feel like weight loss patients but I really don't. I feel pretty normal other than suffering the affects of losing a ton of weight, and the things that come with that, but I have friends that lost weight on keto that have the same issues and didn't have surgery. I would hate to be stuck with the surgery label for the rest of my life and have people watching everything I eat forever. That is what I have seen happen with everyone that has surgery, people watch what they eat, and comment on it, either to the persons face or behind their back.

As far as people that will tell you that people will suspect when you lose weight. I have lost almost 1/2 my body weight and no one suspects surgery. The reason is because I have totally changed my entire life style. I am more active, and I eat differently, even when eating out. So if you live a healthy life, people won't question how you are losing weight since most people think diet and exercise are the key to losing weight anyway. They will assume you just finally got it right. People are sheep, them bah.

I didn't tell anyone except my husband. People at work kept asking why I was walking funny but that's it so far. My mom saw me cringe in pain a couple times but I said my back was bothering me. The only thing I wasnt prepared for about not telling anyone was I do feel alone in this a lot of the time. Especially since I did mine 2 days before thanksgiving so I missed our family dinner. But I am thankful for this site and all of you and your support. ❤️

VSG date: 11/22/16

HW: 225. SW:222. CW: 209

Edited December 7, 20169 yr by augustgirl