Hello to my friends in their 50's! I hit my goal weight today (160 down from 287, in 14 months) and I have so many thoughts running through my head that I would love to be able to share, if you'll indulge me.

Let me start by saying, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!!!! I couldn't be happier about this much weight loss, which I never dreamed would happen. Wearing clothes that I never expected to wear again in my life. The road has not always been easy, as you well know. But I am not sorry I started this journey.

HOWEVER........

I must speak about the person I see in the mirror everyday. Before surgery, everyone knows all about the extra fat that will remain unless of course you have a cosmetic procedure done. But I was not remotely prepared for what I would look like 14 months after. No, I did not dream of being able to look like I am in my 20's anymore. I'm smarter than that. But when I look in the mirror now, I also didn't expect to see what I see. Of course, my stomach is the worst, but my thighs and arms are very wrinkled and saggy also. I think the arms bother me the most cause I can't/won't wear any of the cute little sleeveless shirts that I COULD fit into now because I would be too embarrassed. If I stood next to a person of the same build, same height, same clothing who was just a "normal" person of 160 lbs, you would never be able to say that I also weighed the same. Yes, there is an incredible difference between my before and after pictures, but I get so frustrated that I have worked so hard, been through so much but still don't look like that other person standing next to me. I get feelings of it being so unfair. I know some one out there has read this to this point and said to themselves, "Why doesn't she shut up and just be happy to have lost that much"? I did say at the beginning, that this is not complaining in the literal term. I just wonder if there are others out there who feel like I do. I have spent so much money on wrinkle "erasers", tightening creams etc. and they are all a joke. (though if you have found a "miracle" one, please pass it along!) Insurance companies should be willing to help people complete their process by just assisting in the costs (not paying 100%) of cosmetic surgery if a person chooses that option. But, we well know insurance companies couldn't care less about our happiness or state of mind. You want the whole process to have a beginning and an end. When I see myself, I don't feel "finished". Like a painting only half complete. Just a few more brush strokes here and there and I could be a work of art (OK, that may be overstating). I try to laugh and say the very deep wrinkles that I now have on my face are lines of wisdom. Again, I AM wise enough to know how untrue that is. I'm hoping these "down" feelings will pass in time. But now, they are with me almost every hour of everyday. It's odd to be joyful and depressed at the same time.

I thank from the bottom of my heart anyone who took the time to read through this. I do have a helpful, loving husband who tries to understand, but deep down I know he thinks I not only worry about this too much, but also that I am fine just the way I am. God bless him, he's biased. If anyone out there would like to comment or share a similar situation, please don't hesitate to do so. Thanks again.

Grateful but sad.......

Cassie

Ok, guess it's time for a photo, being almost 2 years out. I have looked for before pic's and can't find any "I" have before my wedding. So before pic was taken Jan 31,2015. After was taken September this year.

Wow! Looking great! Thanks for sharing, I was just trying to make excuses not to go to first VGS Seminar tomorrow. I read all kinds of stuff about the hanging skin and it scares me.

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Has to be better than the hanging abdomen which causes backache right?

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Wow! Looking great! Thanks for sharing, I was just trying to make excuses not to go to first VGS Seminar tomorrow. I read all kinds of stuff about the hanging skin and it scares me.

Sent from my SM-G900H using the BariatricPal AppHas to be better than the hanging abdomen which causes backache right?

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Yes go to the seminar and ask questions, they are the people who really got me to do this. I wanted it, but then my first seminar was the icing on the cake.

I only wish I would've know about this procedure years ago. I was 57 when I had this done. I love buying regular size clothes, I never would get into a dress. Now I have 2, one for summer and one for winter. Going on cruise for my 2 year Anniversary to Eastern Caribbean Oct 16.

I can totally relate, but I try to focus on the positives, no more sleep apnea, blood pressure issues, my cholesterol is outstanding now, no more knee pain, I've completed several endurance sporting events, focus on the good stuff!

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Thank you so much! They just called to confirm (I muttered I should just cancel-- my hub says just go)...and now this...I confirmed. Going at 6pm. Happy to hear about your trip, that's what I miss the most about being a decent weight, traveling. Thanks again.

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I don't have any health issues, cholesterol and BP good, never get heartburn/GERD and had read so many people that get it afterwards. I even read about fatty liver issues after (fine before it). Like you said ask all the questions. I just turned 56 last week, don't want to drag it out any longer. Kind of excited

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M

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Once I was heavy and my skin was smoother and tighter than all the other "old ladies" I knew. I did look younger, but the difference I envied was not their skin, but how easily they fit into their world. They could cross their legs, not have to ask for an extra seat belt, not have to portion their energy for the day or pre-assess a restaurant by the seating available. Sure I'd love to look like a model rather than a melted model, but I am fiercely proud to fit in these days. I'm in the middle of the group, having my picture taken and being part of the experience instead of watching from the edge or waiting to see the cell phone pics. These wrinkles - I earned them fighting - and winning the toughest battle of my life. You did too. You are a warrior!

I saw your pic and you look fabulous. You look 20 years younger. Trust me, I too dread the wrinkly skin. I am just at the beginning stages (more or less), this is week 5 after vsg. I recall being in my 30s and losing weight, and hating that weird wrinkly belly skin. I am imagine now, it will be a hell of a lot worse. I already carry on that since December, what little fat I have lost in my face I know have a little of a turkey neck. Thanks for sharing with us.

Hello everyone who wrote back after my post "Can I vent"? I understand most people just think I'm a complainer who will NEVER be happy with what I've accomplished, which is totally not true. I just bought size 10 jeans yesterday, a first in my life. How can that NOT make me happy?? But in my heart and mind, that happiness just happens to be tainted somewhat with the "leftovers". And as one of you said, it 's not just the wrinkles, it's the LOOK of them, some call it crepey skin. I swear my 82 year old Mother had that too. And so do 99% of people in retirement homes. How can that not depress me somewhat?? If I looked at someone my age 57, and saw a 150 lb. person with upper arms like that, my curiosity would be peaked . The 2 totally conflict with each other and maybe if someone had told me to expect it, I might have been more prepared. No one did, I had NO IDEA this would come to be. My upper arms looked better when I was 278 lbs. So, such is life. My husband couldn't care less about it, something else that makes me happy. I smile mostly and just try to avoid mirrors, lol. We all carry our own baggage (no pun intended), and this is some of mine. I have my moments of but it's not an everyday. I wish you all much success and happiness. Thanks, Cassie

I'm one week post-op and I'm extremely nervous about loose or wrinkly skin. I wonder how much arm surgery costs? I'm actually serious about looking into the surgery.

Hello Newbie! If I'm counting right, you should have had your surgery yesterday. Hope you're starting to feel a bit better. Not tons of fun the 1st few days, but a lot better than a C-Section!!! I don't know you, and you don't know me but maybe we can become friends. I am going to be totally straight with you on the skin issue. I had my sleeve done in June of 2015 when I was 55 yrs old. I have lost 135 lbs. and that's hard not to be thrilled with. But I'm afraid (and SO many people disagree with me on this) that the skin problems are very depressing. I had heard all about the left over skin, but no one let me know how much or how unsightly it would be. Now, a lot depends on how much you have to lose and how long you were "obese" to begin with. I don't know how I could lose so much weight and still have such big thighs!!!!! BUT, 99% of the problem areas are easily hidden. But I live in South Florida and this is already a great time for sleeveless shirts, which I was very much looking forward to. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! If you can one of these days that you're feeling up to it, look up "crepey" skin. That's whats under my upper arms. Sort of looks like skin you might see in someone in their 80's. YES, and this is the part where 99% of the people I have talked to on this issue, basically tell me to quit my "bitchin" and just be glad I have lost the amount I have. No one seems to understand. I AM VERY grateful to God, my wonderful husband and the great friends I have who have cheered me on and prayed for me. BUT why should I not be allowed to feel upset about this wrinkle issue? People also have said, "Hey, you're 57 now, have a husband that does NOT care about the arms, so why do you care so much?" Part of it is BECAUSE I'm 57, not 87. I applaud the people who I see daily with this problem, wearing their no sleeve shirts and proud of it!!! I am happy for them, truly. But to me, it's not about vanity, it's about pride and self respect. Haven't heard much about the procedure for fixing the upper arm area, but it is out of the question for me, as none of it is covered by insurance. So, 3/4 sleeve shirts fill my closet, lol !!!! Now, people will say that I shouldn't have started your "journey" with negativity. I call it the cold, hard, facts and answering the question you initially asked. Who knows? You might not even have any problem with that, and I pray that you won't! My upper arms were really huge, so I guess I should have prepared myself for it. But no one actually told me about the "crepey" look. Not that it would have stopped me from the surgery, but at least I wouldn't have been SOOOO shocked. Listen, bottom line? You have made a wonderful, positive decision in your life and will be thrilled when you see your success. IF you ever want or need the extra surgery, I hope you will be able to have it done. It will only improve the new self esteem you will have. I hope you will stay in touch with me about ANYTHING at all. I may not have every answer, but you will be able to know there is someone who cares and will always listen. Take it really easy and LISTEN to your body when it speaks to you about doing something or NOT doing something. It's usually right!! If you want to sleep.....SLEEP. Your energy will return in due time. Take care and let me know how you're feeling.

Sincerely, Cassie

If you prefer a private email, I'm at tomswifeforever@aol.com

Hey ladies 50 and above, congrats to all of you. But I have some concerns, I'm 6 months out and I've only lost about 37lbs and I have a long way to go to reach goal. I'm craving a lot. How can I get my body back into the losing mild.

Have you been documenting problems (flapping skin, rashes, irritations) with your primary care doc? If you do that, over time, you will have developed medical grounds to have skin removal. Without documentation and "complaining" to your PCP about the skin issues (including how they interfere with activities of daily living - e.g. skin on arms flapping when you try to exercise, you then are setting them up to have to pay for it.

If the skin is causing medical issues, it is no longer a cosmetic procedure and, in most cases, falls within coverage.

(This is not legal advice, but I have practiced insurance law for the last 25 years. Your mileage may vary depending on your policy terms and conditions - read your documentation - a solution may not be as far away as you think). You may be able to get them to cover the panni (stomach) but you may be able to cut a deal with the surgeon to do the other procedures. In the mean time, the insurance is paying for the hospital and anesthesia so you are, most likely, only paying for the surgeon's fee.

BTW - you have done great and you should be proud of what you've done.

I had my VGS on 4/9/15, and have gone from 285-170, so far. I feel like a new person completely. I, like you, have all the same skin issues, and frustrations.

Something that has helped me immensely is wearing compression garments! They really work wonders, and people have actually asked me if I've had surgery to remove the excess skin! My favorite is called a "skinny tee" (skinnytees.com). I never leave the house without one on. They can be pulled down past your butt, and hold everything, from the boobs down, very still and small! The difference is amazing! And they are not uncomfortable at all, to me!

I carried most of my weight in my butt and thighs, so my legs are what trouble me the most. So, I wear jeggings most of the time. These are leggings made of a denim that contains spandex. I like them tight, for maximum control! My butt is GONE now, and my boobs have shrunk from a 42 FF, to a 36D. Unfortunately, that's a 36D LONG!!! Wearing my skinny tees helps to keep them in the bra, but smashes them just a little. I've decided that I'm fine with smaller boobs for now. Someday, I may do something about them.

The clothes I look best in are like tight athletic wear. Sometimes I will wear workout capris under a pair of pants for maximum control. I'd rather not wear girdles or things like that. These make me feel skinny and energetic, not crammed into body armor!

By the way, for those flabby yammies (that's what we call the underarm wobble), skinny tees makes shirts with sleeves, also! Holds everything in tightly, without pain!

I hope this helps a little!