Hello to my friends in their 50's! I hit my goal weight today (160 down from 287, in 14 months) and I have so many thoughts running through my head that I would love to be able to share, if you'll indulge me.
Let me start by saying, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!!!! I couldn't be happier about this much weight loss, which I never dreamed would happen. Wearing clothes that I never expected to wear again in my life. The road has not always been easy, as you well know. But I am not sorry I started this journey.
HOWEVER........
I must speak about the person I see in the mirror everyday. Before surgery, everyone knows all about the extra fat that will remain unless of course you have a cosmetic procedure done. But I was not remotely prepared for what I would look like 14 months after. No, I did not dream of being able to look like I am in my 20's anymore. I'm smarter than that. But when I look in the mirror now, I also didn't expect to see what I see. Of course, my stomach is the worst, but my thighs and arms are very wrinkled and saggy also. I think the arms bother me the most cause I can't/won't wear any of the cute little sleeveless shirts that I COULD fit into now because I would be too embarrassed. If I stood next to a person of the same build, same height, same clothing who was just a "normal" person of 160 lbs, you would never be able to say that I also weighed the same. Yes, there is an incredible difference between my before and after pictures, but I get so frustrated that I have worked so hard, been through so much but still don't look like that other person standing next to me. I get feelings of it being so unfair. I know some one out there has read this to this point and said to themselves, "Why doesn't she shut up and just be happy to have lost that much"? I did say at the beginning, that this is not complaining in the literal term. I just wonder if there are others out there who feel like I do. I have spent so much money on wrinkle "erasers", tightening creams etc. and they are all a joke. (though if you have found a "miracle" one, please pass it along!) Insurance companies should be willing to help people complete their process by just assisting in the costs (not paying 100%) of cosmetic surgery if a person chooses that option. But, we well know insurance companies couldn't care less about our happiness or state of mind. You want the whole process to have a beginning and an end. When I see myself, I don't feel "finished". Like a painting only half complete. Just a few more brush strokes here and there and I could be a work of art (OK, that may be overstating). I try to laugh and say the very deep wrinkles that I now have on my face are lines of wisdom. Again, I AM wise enough to know how untrue that is. I'm hoping these "down" feelings will pass in time. But now, they are with me almost every hour of everyday. It's odd to be joyful and depressed at the same time.
I thank from the bottom of my heart anyone who took the time to read through this. I do have a helpful, loving husband who tries to understand, but deep down I know he thinks I not only worry about this too much, but also that I am fine just the way I am. God bless him, he's biased. If anyone out there would like to comment or share a similar situation, please don't hesitate to do so. Thanks again.
Hello to my friends in their 50's! I hit my goal weight today (160 down from 287, in 14 months) and I have so many thoughts running through my head that I would love to be able to share, if you'll indulge me.
Let me start by saying, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!!!! I couldn't be happier about this much weight loss, which I never dreamed would happen. Wearing clothes that I never expected to wear again in my life. The road has not always been easy, as you well know. But I am not sorry I started this journey.
HOWEVER........
I must speak about the person I see in the mirror everyday. Before surgery, everyone knows all about the extra fat that will remain unless of course you have a cosmetic procedure done. But I was not remotely prepared for what I would look like 14 months after. No, I did not dream of being able to look like I am in my 20's anymore. I'm smarter than that. But when I look in the mirror now, I also didn't expect to see what I see. Of course, my stomach is the worst, but my thighs and arms are very wrinkled and saggy also. I think the arms bother me the most cause I can't/won't wear any of the cute little sleeveless shirts that I COULD fit into now because I would be too embarrassed. If I stood next to a person of the same build, same height, same clothing who was just a "normal" person of 160 lbs, you would never be able to say that I also weighed the same. Yes, there is an incredible difference between my before and after pictures, but I get so frustrated that I have worked so hard, been through so much but still don't look like that other person standing next to me. I get feelings of it being so unfair. I know some one out there has read this to this point and said to themselves, "Why doesn't she shut up and just be happy to have lost that much"? I did say at the beginning, that this is not complaining in the literal term. I just wonder if there are others out there who feel like I do. I have spent so much money on wrinkle "erasers", tightening creams etc. and they are all a joke. (though if you have found a "miracle" one, please pass it along!) Insurance companies should be willing to help people complete their process by just assisting in the costs (not paying 100%) of cosmetic surgery if a person chooses that option. But, we well know insurance companies couldn't care less about our happiness or state of mind. You want the whole process to have a beginning and an end. When I see myself, I don't feel "finished". Like a painting only half complete. Just a few more brush strokes here and there and I could be a work of art (OK, that may be overstating). I try to laugh and say the very deep wrinkles that I now have on my face are lines of wisdom. Again, I AM wise enough to know how untrue that is. I'm hoping these "down" feelings will pass in time. But now, they are with me almost every hour of everyday. It's odd to be joyful and depressed at the same time.
I thank from the bottom of my heart anyone who took the time to read through this. I do have a helpful, loving husband who tries to understand, but deep down I know he thinks I not only worry about this too much, but also that I am fine just the way I am. God bless him, he's biased. If anyone out there would like to comment or share a similar situation, please don't hesitate to do so. Thanks again.
Grateful but sad.......
Cassie