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Terrified at 23

HI there, I'm Jamie (but I usually go by mimi) I'm new to this site. I'm 23, and have been overweight my entire life, I have lipedema as well as lymphedema. My surgery is scheduled for June 6th, I'm terrified now that it's getting closer. Anyone else have that gnawing fear of losing yourself to the surgery? I'm so afraid that I will come out totally different, or I won't change at all and the weightless won't happen. I've never never worked harder for anything in my whole life, but I'm stalling in my weightloss. Is that normal? I mean I know the surgery is a tool, but is it going to be able to come back from a 3 month stall? Sorry if this isn't making sense or if I'm in the incorrect forum.

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Hi Jamie! I found making the decision for BWLS surgery to be intimidating and struggled with some of the same ideas. I wasn't sure how I felt about making such a radical, anatomical and physiological change to my body. I wasn't sure if at my age (60), I should even bother. It took awhile for me to wrap my head around the whole thing, but I realized that for YEARS I haven't been the person I want to be, the person I know lives inside this body. I realized that my body is just the suitcase that carries the real me, and I am REALLY ready to look like the person I know is in me, to regain my health and strength, to stop being ashamed of my body all the time. Don't talk yourself out of this surgery because of fear. You are going to lose the body fat, not your "you."

As a lifelong dieter, I can tell you that stalling in any diet is not uncommon, but there are ways around it. Change your diet, change your exercise routine. shake up your metabolism a little bit. Heck, when my sister stalls, she actually eats more calories (but still healthily) for a little while. Once she convinced her metabolism she wasn't dying of malnutrition, it kicked back in and she kept losing.

As a mom with a 23 year old daughter, it makes me sad that you sound so scared and unsure. This procedure will be life-changing, but in a good, positive way! Don't be afraid of losing yourself. Your SELF has been lost inside your body for years. You are taking the steps necessary to uncover the real girl you've always seen and felt inside. You can do this!!

easy to say but try not to worry, the team performing your surgery and looking after you will be specialized in this area so are experts in what they do.

having the sleeve was one of the best decisions I've made in my life, I wished I'd had it done years ago.

good luck for your surgery :)

Read this comments make me feel better , my surgery date is June 2 and I'm excited , but worry , scary at the same time , and when I read things like that, make me realize , I'm going to do the best decision , for me to be more health , to be me , thanks everyone to make us feel better start my liquid diet Thursday hope I can do it

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Edited by ildaresende

I thought after surgery I would be weird with special dietary needs forever. You get back to normal pretty quickly.

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

HI there, I'm Jamie (but I usually go by mimi) I'm new to this site. I'm 23, and have been overweight my entire life, I have lipedema as well as lymphedema. My surgery is scheduled for June 6th, I'm terrified now that it's getting closer. Anyone else have that gnawing fear of losing yourself to the surgery? I'm so afraid that I will come out totally different, or I won't change at all and the weightless won't happen. I've never never worked harder for anything in my whole life, but I'm stalling in my weightloss. Is that normal? I mean I know the surgery is a tool, but is it going to be able to come back from a 3 month stall? Sorry if this isn't making sense or if I'm in the incorrect forum.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

Welcome!

Just going through the process will change you. But, from my experience, it is for the better.

If you take this process seriously, keep an open mind, learn as much as you can, use all of your resources, and follow your program guidelines, you will experience a transformation. It is like an intense boot camp for personal growth. Wouldn't you rather become a better version of yourself than stay stuck?

One book I recommend frequently is: Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton. It is very helpful. So is journaling, meditation, spiritual practice, etc. One key to success is learning how to manage stress and emotions without using food.

I also recommend that you use all of the resources available to you: your bariatric team, NUT, a counselor or therapist, support group meetings, and 12-step recover groups (like OA -- OA.org).

I am considerably older than you and have been obese for many more years. Pre-op, losing weight was a near impossibility for me. It was a struggle just not to gain. Post-op, it is like a night and day difference. If I follow the program, I lose weight.

I still experience periodic stalls. Anyone who wants to lose a large amount of weight will. None of us lose at a constant or steady rate, we all experience periodic stalls and slowdowns. The key is how you react to those stalls.

To succeed in this process you will do well if you practice patience, polite persistence, perseverance, and positivity.

Embrace the Stall

http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

P.S., I am writing this with my legs in compression boots as I am doing my twice daily physical therapy for my lymphedema. Getting treatment for my lymphedema is another important thing that has resulted from my journey so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing!

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author

HI there, I'm Jamie (but I usually go by mimi) I'm new to this site. I'm 23, and have been overweight my entire life, I have lipedema as well as lymphedema. My surgery is scheduled for June 6th, I'm terrified now that it's getting closer. Anyone else have that gnawing fear of losing yourself to the surgery? I'm so afraid that I will come out totally different, or I won't change at all and the weightless won't happen. I've never never worked harder for anything in my whole life, but I'm stalling in my weightloss. Is that normal? I mean I know the surgery is a tool, but is it going to be able to come back from a 3 month stall? Sorry if this isn't making sense or if I'm in the incorrect forum.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

Welcome!

Just going through the process will change you. But, from my experience, it is for the better.

If you take this process seriously, keep an open mind, learn as much as you can, use all of your resources, and follow your program guidelines, you will experience a transformation. It is like an intense boot camp for personal growth. Wouldn't you rather become a better version of yourself than stay stuck?

One book I recommend frequently is: Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton. It is very helpful. So is journaling, meditation, spiritual practice, etc. One key to success is learning how to manage stress and emotions without using food.

I also recommend that you use all of the resources available to you: your bariatric team, NUT, a counselor or therapist, support group meetings, and 12-step recover groups (like OA -- OA.org).

I am considerably older than you and have been obese for many more years. Pre-op, losing weight was a near impossibility for me. It was a struggle just not to gain. Post-op, it is like a night and day difference. If I follow the program, I lose weight.

I still experience periodic stalls. Anyone who wants to lose a large amount of weight will. None of us lose at a constant or steady rate, we all experience periodic stalls and slowdowns. The key is how you react to those stalls.

To succeed in this process you will do well if you practice patience, polite persistence, perseverance, and positivity.

Embrace the Stall

http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

P.S., I am writing this with my legs in compression boots as I am doing my twice daily physical therapy for my lymphedema. Getting treatment for my lymphedema is another important thing that has resulted from my journey so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing!

Thank you so much! I will check that book out. I'm sorry it took me so long to reply I didn't think anyone replied. I'm ready for the change. I'm 70lbs lighter than I was...and I feel the change, I lose sight somtimes. Monday is the big day and I'm just hoping it's really what I've been preparing for. I have been through alot in my life and this is somthing I need. I've wanted a semi normal life for as long as I can remember. Somthing as simple as a pair of pants from a local store.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

Did you notice a change In yourself soon after the surgery? And was it all worth the pain?

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

I had surgery on January 18, 2016. I was 23 at the time (turned 24 in Feb). I am a little less than 6 months out from surgery and I have had a total weight loss of 97lbs, 67lbs of those pounds since my surgery date!

My life has changed in many ways all for the better. I feel like a new person. The first few weeks after surgery are difficult but once you get through them life is relatively normal. I do not regret my decision at all and it was worth every tear shed and spoonful of mush eaten in the beginning stage!

@ leebick I know your words were aimed at Jamie but I am a 54 yr old woman who is due to have VSG in June 7 and I too am a nervous wreck. What you said was all very similar to the way I have felt about myself for a very long time. I was actually approved for this BELS 6 yrs ago and backed out due to the fear of surgery. I am determined not to let that happen this time but I am so afraid of the actual surgery. I've not had surgery before and am totally against narcotic pain meds due to my background working with addicts. Still determined not to use the pain meds unless absolutely a last resort. These posts are helping me stay focused .

Thank You

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

  • Author

I had surgery on January 18, 2016. I was 23 at the time (turned 24 in Feb). I am a little less than 6 months out from surgery and I have had a total weight loss of 97lbs, 67lbs of those pounds since my surgery date!

My life has changed in many ways all for the better. I feel like a new person. The first few weeks after surgery are difficult but once you get through them life is relatively normal. I do not regret my decision at all and it was worth every tear shed and spoonful of mush eaten in the beginning stage!

That's incredible ! Congrats on the hard work. This comment really brightened my day. Surgery in the am and the panic is setting in.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

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