Coming out as poly

[The Sabretooth 3]

Sorry to bump this after a month, but I'm new here. I just wanted to ask if you found it difficult finding other poly people and if not, how do you do it? I am completely open about it. I'm still finding it impossible. I just have this uncanny ability to find girls who are totally ok with it for the first month then suddenly, one day, try to stab me for looking at another woman. Do you have any tips for dealing with that? lol

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Sorry to bump this after a month, but I'm new here. I just wanted to ask if you found it difficult finding other poly people and if not, how do you do it? I am completely open about it. I'm still finding it impossible. I just have this uncanny ability to find girls who are totally ok with it for the first month then suddenly, one day, try to stab me for looking at another woman. Do you have any tips for dealing with that? lol

I'm active in my local BDSM group, and there's a lot of crossover there to poly. I hang with two distinct groups of poly; one is much more BDSM-friendly than the other.

You could try fetlife.com as there are a lot of poly groups there. It's free to join. Also, okcupid has an option for being in an "open" relationship, I think you can set your search parameters for that.

By the way, those girls aren't totally okay with it. They just want you. They either THINK they can be okay with it, or they think they are awesome enough that you won't want anyone else, or once you fall in love with them you won't want anyone else. It's a common problem.

[Cervidae 2,389]

I love fetlife! Been a member there for 6 years.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I love fetlife! Been a member there for 6 years.

Okay, I just looked at your stats.

We both had surgery in August 2015.

You started at 402, I started at 403.

You weigh 239 right now, I weigh 238.

We're both on fetlife.

Fess up! Long-lost twin sister? or Stalker???

[Cervidae 2,389]

@@Sharon1964 we're also both poly. Unless you're the one doing the stalking, I'm gonna go with long-lost twin!

Edited June 1, 2016 by Cervidae

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Ok, PM me your fetlife name and I'll stalk you there too!

[theantichick 2,204]

She immediately jumped to, "there will be jealousy and your heart will get broken."

Of course, in a monogamous relationship that will never happen. (eye roll).

I have been around poly for decades (pagan community), and didn't see a lot of good poly relationships. Of course, I didn't see a lot of good "normal" relationships, either. My 2nd husband wanted to be poly, and I wasn't down with it, so he decided to be poly and lie to everyone about it (yeah, I know it's not really poly, that's actually my point).

My current husband had a girlfriend when we started dating, and I almost didn't date him because of the experience I'd had with Ex#2. A conversation with a good friend who has one of the few good poly relationships I've seen helped me realize that the structure isn't the important part, it's the quality of the relationship. So I took a chance, best decision I've made in years. Hubby's GF moved out of state not long after we started dating. So we're theoretically poly, but right now we don't have any others in the mix.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

And last weekend I came out to my 12 year old daughter. Her only question was, "can he marry you too?" I told her that the law only allows you to be married to one person at a time.

Other than that, "cool Beans."