Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum so bare with me. I am in the process of getting ready for surgery for my weight loss. I'm 5' 9" and I weigh 290 lbs. My BMI is over 40 and I have severe obstructive sleep apnea. I am excited and nervous at the same time for the surgery. For some reason I am hesitant to tell people that I'm having the surgery. I feel embarrassed and I'm scared that people will question me and look at me strange when I lose the weight so quickly. Does anyone else feel this way? I now know that I need to do this for my health and quality of life, I'm just really scared of the changes I have to make in my life after the surgery i.e. eating, drinking alcohol etc... Thank you for any info you can pass along!

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I have yet to tell anyone other than my doctors and my parents. I chickened out during my last conversation with my best friend and didn't tell her...so yes, I am a bit afraid about how people will react, if they will try to talk me out of it (I just don't want to hear it - I've made up my mind), think I'm doing something crazy extreme, etc.

It's going to be a huge change in lifestyle for me. I'm a beer drinker and I make my own beer at home. I'm really into craft beers and breweries and it is one of my passions. These types of beers carry a lot of calories, 250 calories and up each beer! Drinking and visiting breweries and hanging out watching football games on Sunday's with my friends is something I love to do but I know it's not healthy. I'm just scared of what the future will bring

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Omg...I have the same feelings. I haven't told anyone because I dont want any negative comments or people saying all you have to do is......or....U not that big....u taking the easy way out...Blah blah blah...I'm already embarrassed that I couldn't do it by myself and have to have the sugery. I'm not even scared of the sugery just scared of what I will look like afterwards....I'm scared that I might fail like all the other time I tried....I'm really an emotional wreck...I just break out crying and I don't know why...My sugery is Tuesday I'm on my pre-op liquid diet...just doing alot of praying!!!

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I would recommend seeking out some success stories and reading through about their journeys. That helped me when I was early on like you.

I think it's 100% normal to be nervous about the life changes. I view that as a good thing because you are really seeing the changes for the significant lifestyle changes that they are. I think that makes you so much more likely to be more successful than if you just viewed it as a minor thing and something that would not impact your life choices.

Just keep reminding yourself of why you want to do this and keep coming back to those reasons. That is what would get me through when I started second-guessing myself. Good luck!

Thank you everyone for the comments. It really helps to see that I am not alone in this. I keep second guessing myself but just like livvsmum said, I keep going back to the thoughts and feelings that brought me to this point. I know it will be great, I just want to be sure.

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I'm scheduled for surgery 3/31 and feel the same way. I have decided I'm not going around telling everyone I run into that I'm having surgery but if someone asks I will be honest. I don't want to have to lie and I want to be proud of myself and the big changes I will be making. Not ashamed to admit I need some help. I think it's harder to admit that and do something about it than keep things the way they are. Nothing to be ashamed of, we are taking control of our lives and our health!! Be proud! You will not fail you will have great progress, we all will!

I think friends, family and even to an extent, yourself get used to seeing you a certain way. Heavy. It's hard to break that thought process. I was relatively at a healthy weight when I was younger in my 20's, hovering around the 200-220lbs mark but when I hit 30, it started to pile on. I am now 40 with 2 little boys and I'm almost 290 lbs! By far the heaviest I've ever been. Each year I seem to gain anywhere from 15-20 lbs. now I am ashamed of the way I look. Clothes don't fit me correctly. I'm so self conscious that I avoid doing things in public. This is really hard because my boys are into sports and I help coach their teams. Winter is my favorite time of year because I can hide under sweatshirts and stuff. I have been miserable and I've tried weight watchers and all kinds of diets to no avail. Now I find myself at a crossroads. Do nothing and continue to be miserable and gain weight or take control of my life and lose the weight. I've chosen to lose the weight, for myself and my children. Thank you for letting me vent!

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I have literally told 4 people. I know everyone at work will be all this and asking me what's going on... but I look at it like this.. would I go around telling people I'm having a nose job or face lift?? No.... so I will keep it private... my surgery date is March 29th btw...

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I'm in the early stages and have yet to meet with my surgeon. The only people I plan to tell are the ones who I'm going to have take me to the hospital. For work I'm going to just take some vacation time and tell them I'm going on vacation. I work from home and only go into the office about once a month. It will be starling when I come back from vacation losing a bunch of weight.

I told everyone because "F**k what anyone else thinks!!"

I did this for me...

People can give me their opinions all they like..

It matters not...

My body...

My choice...

And OH MY GOD was it the right choice...

Do what you've gotta do to get yourselves happy and healthy...

Don't let the ignorant, uneducated people in your life dictate your behaviours and actions..

@@jmc534 I couldn't agree more. I'm about the same weight and feel the same about winter I'm more ashamed for what I've let happen to me than I am about having the surgery. I guess they go hand in hand to some extent. But it's time to take control and make myself better for me and my family. I want to be excited to do things with my kids and not dread it because of my weight or how I feel in my clothes.

Thank you for all the awesome comments from everyone! I love hearing the give and take from all of you. In reading some of the other stuff on the forum, the horror stories scare me but I know that they are pretty rare. I need to keep an open mind and look forward to the future!

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I told everyone because "F**k what anyone else thinks!!"

I did this for me...

People can give me their opinions all they like..

It matters not...

My body...

My choice...

And OH MY GOD was it the right choice...

Do what you've gotta do to get yourselves happy and healthy...

Don't let the ignorant, uneducated people in your life dictate your behaviours and actions..

I love your attitude!...That's how my

husband said I need to think.....I'm working on it!

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I did decide to tell a couple of friends/family members/work colleagues because I am a pretty open person. Some of the reactions I got were not what I was hoping to hear. I heard it all, "dont get mad at me for saying this, but are you big enough", "its the easy way out", "are you really sure you want to do this, its a huge change," "you wont be able to go to the bar with me anymore," "you wont be able to have lunch dates with me anymore" "just diet and excercise, you have lost weight before, why cant you do that again" etc.. i can go on and on, and all that has done was give me the motivation to say "hey, all of you who have your doubts, screw you.. I am going to prove all of you wrong" Surgery is on Monday and I'm day 3 out of 5 into the liquid diet. For anyone who tells you you cant do it - its them becoming nervous that your going to change for the better. Them becoming jealous that you are improving your lifestyle and they maybe stuck where they are at. I have been anxious and nervous and doubtful for the entire 6 month process, and now that its finally here, I am ready to take the leap and change MY life. Because in the end it is YOUR life, not your friends, not your family, not your significant other. Do what you have to do to live happily. No one really knows what we all go through on a daily basis, only you know the real struggle. So do you and good luck! Rant over!

Hi jmc534, I too am in the process of having surgery. I am so ready. At first I worried but lately I've gone through a bad cycle of over eating that it has wiped all doubt away. Everything has been submitted to insurance and waiting for approval. I'm just so ready to get started. Good luck!

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