I had my sleeve 9 weeks ago. Things are going great, I've had a couple bad days but nothing major to complain about. I've lost 40 lbs in two months. So I am feeling really great with no regrets.

As we have all just gone thru the holiday season with lots of opportunities to fall off the wagon, I had no desire to eat anything bad for me. My in laws, mostly my mil and sil were so extremely rude throughout the holidays. On thanksgiving my mil announced at dinner I had had surgery and that's why I wasn't eating much. My husbands entire family was there. I was so mad. I chose to keep my surgery quiet. It's a personal matter and I tend to be a very private person and I didn't want all the attention. Well I know my mil was hoping for someone to make some rude comment Bc even before the surgery she was very rude about it. But it back fired on her and everyone was praising my lose and my decision. I could tell she was mad.

Well two weeks later we have my sons bday party at a local arcade. They had pizza and cake. I ate a healthy lunch before we left for the party. My mil once again announced in front of my sons friends and their parents that I wasn't eating Bc I had surgery. I was pissed. Then when I was serving cake to everyone a little while my sil says "I'm sure you are regretting your stupid surgery now. You know you want cake!" At that point I was done with both of them. I told her I was very happy with my "stupid surgery", I have no regrets, and I have no desire to eat sweets so if she could kindly keep her negativity to herself I would appreciate it. As soon as I left the room they both started talking crap about me to my ex mil who is like my mom. She shut them both down very quickly. Even she wasn't excited about my surgery but she has always been supportive.

So now we are at Christmas, my husbands family is talking to me about my weight loss and how good I'm looking and asking how things are going. Both my mil and sil kept interrupting making rude comments, bringing up how I had a bad day recently so it wasn't worth it, how the holidays have to suck for me Bc I can't eat like a normal person, and how they can't see a difference in my weight (I've gone down 3 sizes), and so on. I finally pulled them to the side and told them they need to cut the negative, rude, unnneeded comments. I told them they seem very jealous and hopeful for me to fail and i didn't appreciate that from people who are claiming to be family. If it continues we would no longer take part in their family gatherings.

So my mil turns around and tells my husband I was being a bitch (sorry for the language) and threatening to disown them. My husband was clueless to most of these comments and incidents other than the thanksgiving incident. And on thanksgiving he told her she was rude and disrespectful and it needed to stop. I filled him in on everything else and was furious. He called her and told her I had every right to say what I said and to be mad. And he stood by me completely.

I'm sure this will not be the end of it. But it's getting to the point I just don't want to be around them. Or I am gonna turn into that mega bitch she claimed I am. Anyone else deal with this kinda stuff from family or friends?

I'd announce to the family that I'm sorry for my MIL behavior, but bear in mind she's past menopause and dreading that she's used up the majority of her life.

And you heard the SIL is bitter over that recent STD incident.

But that's just me.

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This had me rolling! I've been very tempted to tell them if they took weight watchers more seriously then maybe they would have their own success stories for people to ask them about. But I've been trying to be the adult in the situation. If things continue this way one day it will come out.

Tell your MIL that you are "barking" at her because you are acting like a "b***h" (female dog).

There are people in life who are can be toxic to your well being (your MIL & SIL or are they "MOL & SOL" (Mother/Sister Out Laws)). You need to distance yourself a little from them if they treat you this way.

Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you. I hope they back off from these comments and you can have a decent relationship with those 2 going forwards.

I just feel bad for my husband Bc it's his family and he wants everyone to get along so bad. His mom treated his first wife like crap and there were a lot of issues there. He was really hoping this time around his mom would be better. She was ok for the first 2 years but midway thru this year, year 3 she started her crap.

I come from a really screwed up family. I have no contact with any of my family, they pretty much disowned me Bc I graduated hs went on to college and moved 1500 miles away. I didn't fall into their drug addicted trap and become one of them. So to them I am stuck up and a snob. So eventually i quick trying with them. That was 6 years ago. My whole life I grew up with my family feuding with each other and not doing holidays together and all that. I know how bad it is to be stuck in a family that can't get along. I am trying really hard to avoid those issues with my in laws, for my husband and step kids. My father in law is great. All the rest of my husband family is great. It's just his mom and sister. I will give them the last chance at my youngest stepdaughters bday if it gets outta hand ago I will give them the boot, but I will be sure to thoroughly explain to them what they have done wrong first.

When people say they are keeping their surgery a secret on here, and other people jump in and tell them they should tell people and not be ashamed. This is the prime example of why you can't really tell anyone if you want to keep it a secret.

OP told people that should have her back and keep it quiet, but once people know there is no way that you can control who they tell, how they tell, or when they tell.

@@Ilovecats1985 I'm really sorry your MIL tried to shame you like that in front of your other relatives. I'm glad it backfired on her and I'm glad your husband supports you.

Just out of curiosity, are your mil and sil overweight? I've noticed the people in my family that are the least supportive are those that also have an issue with obesity. Their attitude has definitely thrown me for a loop, but I've decided I won't over share my excitement about this new chapter in my life. If they ask questions, I'll answer honestly, but I tend to curb my enthusaism. I hope in time, they might end up realizing that I have a much richer, healthier life and consider it an option for them as well.

When people say they are keeping their surgery a secret on here, and other people jump in and tell them they should tell people and not be ashamed. This is the prime example of why you can't really tell anyone if you want to keep it a secret.

OP told people that should have her back and keep it quiet, but once people know there is no way that you can control who they tell, how they tell, or when they tell.

@@Ilovecats1985 I'm really sorry your MIL tried to shame you like that in front of your other relatives. I'm glad it backfired on her and I'm glad your husband supports you.

I would not have told my mil about surgery at all but my husband needed her to get his kids from school the day of surgery and keep them over night. She called my sil almost immediately, I knew then it was a mistake asking her for help.

Just out of curiosity, are your mil and sil overweight? I've noticed the people in my family that are the least supportive are those that also have an issue with obesity. Their attitude has definitely thrown me for a loop, but I've decided I won't over share my excitement about this new chapter in my life. If they ask questions, I'll answer honestly, but I tend to curb my enthusaism. I hope in time, they might end up realizing that I have a much richer, healthier life and consider it an option for them as well.

Yes they are both extremely overweight. I never bring up my surgery with anyone but my husband and best friend. Just Bc I don't want the attention and all.

They are just jealous because they either don't have the means of getting the surgery or they are afraid of surgery or they don't want to give up stuffing their faces. In either case, they don't want you to succeed because that makes them recognize their own failings.

The truth is that the only person you can control is you and you are doing a great job. Be happy with the happy things and try to tune out the Ugly in-laws.....and by ugly I mean personalities.

Edited December 29, 201510 yr by MIMISAN

I can relate to what you're experiencing but I'm happy that you have the courage to make these changes in your life. I find that I just have to ride the wave of people reacting to my choice to have surgery and let them adjust to changes in my food choices and appearance. I just keep going and try to stay above all that other crapola.

Good for you for taking up for yourself! I haven't dealt with anything like this, but stand your ground!

They don't know what a struggle you have had with weight loss, and then the journey you had to get the sleeve. I am sure you did a lot of thinking before hand, and it isn't an easy decision to make. It wasn't for me. I was giving up one of my best friends....FOOD! But I knew I had to do it for me. Not anyone else. Sure I want to live a long life with my husband, but in the end, you do it for you!

I am proud of you and everyone else on BP. We all have faced something that the rest of the world doesn't understand. They have no right to criticize us for our decisions.

Holy cow, holy cow!! I am a very private person but have been upfront about my choice. I don't want attention but also don't want people to think I am trying to hide my decision. It's a balancing act that I thought was hard until I heard your story. I totally admire you and your responses to these two, I can understand wanting peace but just WOW!! Sounds to me like if it wasn't this, it would be another subject with those two. I love the "let the little dogs bark" attitude but unfortunately I would be the menopausal and STD type, but good sarcasm is lost on people like that. lol Sounds like you have a great support system around you they brought out with their nastiness. We call our friends our family by heart. Blood is not a qualifier here. Good luck and keep up the good work.

simple jealousy, some people cannot deal with the spotlight not being on them. You go on being the best you, you can be!

Amen sister!!! they are showing their true colors. always happens when something good happens to others..they either lift you up or try to pull you down with them.. stay strong!!

. As I have said recently, people who talk about you that way are not telling you about who you are, they are telling you about who they are.

Your husband is a gift. Too bad he comes with all that drama. So, let the little dogs bark and just go on with your pursuit of health and happiness.

I would confront them in front of others asking where you gave them permission to make private things public and what are they hoping to accomplish? It should not matter to any one why you aren't eating.

Seriously ... I know so many people with food "differences" I don't ask why I just ask if they have any special needs, accomodate and move on. The impression I have with some is they do want to use it to payback, get back, have control over, act like they are better because they know a secret. If so, let their shortcomings be exposed and when they've gotten some sting, maybe they can learn to treat others with some kindness, mercy and respect.

At least WLS gets rid of PHYSICAL problems, HEART/SOUL problems like that aren't as easily solved.

At least WLS gets rid of PHYSICAL problems, HEART/SOUL problems like that aren't as easily solved.

AMEN!!!!!!

I want to ask people why they can't spend their time making the world a better place than telling secrets. If we spent time helping homeless, aged, minorities, volunteer groups, we'd be so busy we wouldn't be in others' business.

The other option is to make sure you aren't the one listening. I shut off gossip pretty much quickly when I first got to my work place. I let things come out when they come out. A lot happier for it and my coworkers don't gossip to me either.