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Autism/Mental illness/Bad Support and WLS



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I decided to make thread because I'm very much struggling. I need to lose weight and need to find a place to do so that is loving and supportive of my weight loss goals but I don't have that and I've tried to get WLS 2 times before this is my 3rd time trying. I'm very depressed, anxious and feel my autism and mental illness will automatically not get me approved again. It's like every time I get far in the process it seems I take two steps forward and three steps back and I'm tired of it. I hate people that judge me and say I'm taking the easy way out. No I'm not, I have a hormonal imbalance and metabolism problem that will not be fixed with diet or exercise alone. I know me and I'm not trying to be lazy or take the easy way out I'll still exercise. I will just have an extra tool to lose way more weight with diet and exercise. Is there anyone who is here that is on the autism spectrum or have mental illness or even just has a bad support system that feels the same way? Because I need somebody to tell my frustrations to, sorry.

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I just feel alone and family does not get my struggle, they just tell me to eat less and exercise more which does not help at all. Or they tell me to just be happy and get out when really that's not what I need. I have certain needs that they don't seem to understand. I get severe sensory overload and freak out in social environments. Most of my cares with simple tasks and daily living skills are not being met and I'm scared that will also not get me approved I need more help than normal people right now and don't know where to ask.

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Most of us chose weight loss surgery because dieting and exercising just didn't work for us but weight loss surgery turned out to be a very viable solution.

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@@Tierra T Tij - you are pre-op and waiting to do basics of approval from Nut and Psyche eval I assume?

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Yes, it's becoming a pain. I just wish I could function higher and improve my skills to be able to cope with all of this but it's a problem. If I could do all that then they would approve me on the spot but I guess life is not always this easy I guess.

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I wish I could offer you some first had advice/experience, but as a parent of a child with autism, I wanted to offer my support. In general my daughter does best when we focus on the things she can control. Trying to shift her mindset during times she's struggled to cope has helped her to be more successful. Try focusing on the "rules"of WLS and take it one step at a time. Do you have a therapist/counselor/psychologist that can help you incorporate these behaviors and assist in developing new coping skills? Wishing you all the best!

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People who judge you are not telling you what kind of person you are. They are telling you what kind of person they are. Since you do not have encouragement at home, you might be a good candidate for a support group. The psych evaluation is not meant to see how many patients the surgeon can refuse. It is to help us understand the dynamic behind our struggle to lose weight and how we can prepare ourselves to succeed.

Many hospitals have patient advocates and many insurance companies will assign a nurse case manager to help you navigate through the surgery and recovery experience. Take advantage of the resources available to you, and feel welcome to ask questions and vent frustrations here on the forum. I wish you the best.

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I agree. The psych evL and other requirements are supposed to help you identify areas that you need support and help you find the resources you will need to be successful. Just because you haven't been ready up to now doesn't mean you won't be.

I agree that finding a good therapist and an advocate may be helpful for navigating this process.

I wish you all the best.

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Thank you, I feel like I am in a better place then I was in this last post but I am still struggling don't get me wrong I guess with a new life change it takes a lot of work,effort, persistence, and take one day or things at a time. This is a big change, conquering my weight issue and boy has it been a joy ride! I just wish I could get this stuff down so I could start losing weight and feeling better about myself.

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Where are you in your journey? Have you talked to a therapist or counselor?

WLS does take patience, persistence, perseverance, and most of all positivity.

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Well I've tried twice to get Gastric Bypass surgery and it seemed like either I wasn't ready or my health insurance ran out. It seemed like one thing or another. But I think now I could finally do it with enough help.

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Hello there,

I don't know where you're at with the whole approval process, so this advice may be too late. I have Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I didn't say a word to my surgeon or anyone else in the office. It's none of their business. PM me if you have further questions. It sounds like you have your share of challenges. Hang in there. Best wishes to you.

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Thanks :)

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Somebody a ways back mentioned rules. As a person with ASD, are you very rules focused? If so, maybe that suggestion could help. I have mental illness as well with a very severe history and I felt like I was constantly on trial and every step of the way, I had to prove I was as stable as anyone else going through the process. It sucks. I'm sorry. I wish I had advice.

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I have autism and I didn't tell them and they didn't ask. Unless it's really relevant (i.e. I need a reasonable adjustment) I never disclose, why give people reason to discriminate against you if you don't need to. Good luck. x

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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