I have just had a 3 night short break away with my husband, mum , and 2 daughters. It was strange. I enjoyed wearing clothes that fitted, walks along the beach, and the lovely autumn colours. But I have realised how much of my holiday enjoyment resolves around food. Visit to stately home - no tea and scones for me. Seaside - no ice cream or chips. Nice artisan bakery, I had to watch as family had almond croissants and bought still warm fresh bread. I queued for AGES in a coffee shop to get a skinny latte, but they had NO skimmed milk. A skinny latte is just about the only thing I can enjoy and feel normal when I'm out and about.

I am just feeling a bit down, and my family, whilst supportive, don't really understand how I feel.

I paid to have surgery privately, so do not have access to psychology support.

Thanks for " listening"

Wouldn't you have access to counseling even though you paid for surgery privately? It sounds like you're in the UK. I'm a Yank and no expert on the National Health, but don't you have access to counseling for any issues you have?

It's a loss of a significant relationship and hobby, if you will. I don't know how far out from surgery you are, either. I'd definitely look for counseling if it's available. Just because you gained much from the surgery doesn't mean it doesn't mean loss, as well.

I hope this helps.

I get it. It is revealing how much our family time occurs at meals and snack times.

I just picked my son up from school and stopped at a local bbq restaurant on the way home to pic up a family order. Ribs, pulled pork, slaw, baked Beans, etc, etc, etc.

Made it home and watched as my family dug in and enjoyed themselves grubbing down on foods that I love.

I hung back and had my glass of Water.

Thing of it is.....they are all lean ad healthy.....unlike me. I've enjoyed way more than my share of such food over the years and it's perfectly okay for me right now to not have these things but to stick to my plan.

There is a lot to be learned from watching healthy folks eat and enjoy food in healthy ways. It's helping me put things into perspective and learn how to handle myself in the future.

I understand how you feel. I am generally very good about not eating junk, but on Halloween I ate a little more like a normal person in that I had a few bites of dessert and enjoyed some caramel popcorn. I gained 3 pounds. In one day. So now I get to go back to starving and running everyday and at 2 years post-op, yes I resent this a little. I find it annoying that some people can eat their faces off, or even just eat like a normal person and not instantly gain weight. I get angry when I think that at my birthday in a few weeks I don't get to have cake because I have to fit in my clothing, that at Christmas I won't get chocolate and at a wedding I'm going to I can't feast on the wonderful food.

In the end it is a choice. I can be thin and not enjoy food or I can be fat and eat whatever I want. I choose to be thin. And at the moment, cranky and a little resentful that I don't get to enjoy a big part of life that I used to.

Plan, plan, plan. As a person with food allergies I was used to planning for any outing so the adjustment to post op life has been a bit easier. I pick my battles and splurges.

Visit to stately home - have just the tea

Seaside - depending on what stage you are in I might have a small scoop of ice cream in a cup.

Nice artisan bakery, I had to watch as family had almond croissants and bought still warm fresh bread. - I might allow myself one bite, but I would also pack a Protein bar so as to not be further tempted.

I queued for AGES in a coffee shop to get a skinny latte, but they had NO skimmed milk. A skinny latte is just about the only thing I can enjoy and feel normal when I'm out and about. - call ahead or pack a single serving pack of skimmed milk. Get the drink plain and add your own.

When I take a trip to the shore I am more active than usual. We do a lot of walking and I love playing in the Water. In short I am active enough to earn these little treats. This is the start of a new lifestyle . We have to reexamine things and make them work for us. Now that you have had this experience perhaps looking at holiday celebrations and developing work arounds will help you not feel deprived.

I know exactly how you feel! I just returned from a week on San Pedro island in Belize. I was able to enjoy activities that I haven't done in a very long time. I snorkeled with sting rays and nurse sharks for hours and on a coral reef another day. I wasn't totally embarrassed to be in a swimsuit (even though the other women I was with are tiny). We walked and enjoyed the island for hours each day. We went with several couples, but only my husband and one other couple knew I had sleeve surgery. At the beginning of the vacation, I got really down when we were eating (of course my luck we went out for every meal). However, after a couple of days I decided I wasn't going to let it get me down. I actually started having fun at each meal getting to try everyone's proteins. I stopped ordering a meal and got a bite off of everyone's meal (I didn't want to be wasteful). It was like getting to try everything on the menu, but not having to order anything. I skipped the sides, but would get bites of fish, pork and beef all at the same time. I never had to decide what I wanted. The only downside was they all found a awesome bakery that they stopped at every morning. I would eat a half of a protein bar before I went then decide who had the best looking pastry that morning and take a small bite. It was my one small indulgence while on vacation. When I got back from vacation, I had lost a pound. You won't hear a complaint from me about that. Typically I go on vacation and gain 5 pounds. So with that being said, I will chalk this vacation up to a small victory. We travel a lot, so this gives me encouragement for trip to come.

@@Hello new me - Excellent! That's exactly the type of thinking I was talking about.

Thanks for all your replies, suggestions and support.

I was only sleeved on 3rd Sept, so am still adjusting.

Someone once told me have your cake. ..savor your first bite, then have one more making it your last savored bite because everything in between is empty calories. You can eat like normal people you just have to be mindful of what and how much you are eating. Enjoy life but don't go over board.

I know exactly how you feel! I just returned from a week on San Pedro island in Belize. I was able to enjoy activities that I haven't done in a very long time. I snorkeled with sting rays and nurse sharks for hours and on a coral reef another day. I wasn't totally embarrassed to be in a swimsuit (even though the other women I was with are tiny). We walked and enjoyed the island for hours each day. We went with several couples, but only my husband and one other couple knew I had sleeve surgery. At the beginning of the vacation, I got really down when we were eating (of course my luck we went out for every meal). However, after a couple of days I decided I wasn't going to let it get me down. I actually started having fun at each meal getting to try everyone's proteins. I stopped ordering a meal and got a bite off of everyone's meal (I didn't want to be wasteful). It was like getting to try everything on the menu, but not having to order anything. I skipped the sides, but would get bites of fish, pork and beef all at the same time. I never had to decide what I wanted. The only downside was they all found a awesome bakery that they stopped at every morning. I would eat a half of a protein bar before I went then decide who had the best looking pastry that morning and take a small bite. It was my one small indulgence while on vacation. When I got back from vacation, I had lost a pound. You won't hear a complaint from me about that. Typically I go on vacation and gain 5 pounds. So with that being said, I will chalk this vacation up to a small victory. We travel a lot, so this gives me encouragement for trip to come.

I can't wait do what you described. Me and my husband are gtting sleeved before the end of the year. We love to travel and like you we have gained weight. Hopefully next years vacation will be filled with lots of new activities and not so much food! ????

Nomilktoday I was sleeved on 9/1 so we are journeying together. If you need some chatting or support please message me.

Edited November 9, 201510 yr by lorri716

@Nomlktoday

I visit National Trust Homes or English Heritage places most weekends and usually have the soup. Its really filling and makes me feel as if I have had a 'treat' as I have eaten out, rather than had soup at home. Its all about reprogramming your mind to what you want. Not easy BUT if I can do it, believe me anyone can!

If you ever want to chat please feel free to message me.

It's good to read this post as I was just feeling down about being away from home in lovely places and going out for meals and drinks with friends and sitting back after 2 bites, feeling a bit embarrassed about leaving so much food behind and then feeling exhausted and wanting to go home. I usually was the life of the party at dinner tables- enjoying all good and drink on offer and now I concentrate on not feeling nausea. It's a real adjustment. I was sleeved 4th September by the way. When does it get easier?