It's been a hell of a journey to get here, but I am finally three days away from my surgery, but now I'm having second thoughts. Maybe it's cold feet? All I know is that I feel angry. To me food = fun . You know, going out for dinner with friends, having popcorn at the movies etc. I don't feel like I can have fun now bc I can't eat! Does that sound strange? I feel like I'm going to regret the surgery bc I won't be able to have fun anymore! I miss food. I feel like I'm dealing with a break up and I'm sad and angry. Did anyone feel like this before surgery? Do you regret the surgery? Please tell me everything gets better lol

@@OctoberRust127 Yes, we all go through that! I can tell you while in the beginning it can feel that way it's in no way fact! I can eat anything I want. I just can't eat a ton of it. Everyone's different, you may have things that don't agree with you but I can almost promise you, you will eat again. It's not as bad as what you're probably imagining. That's a good reason why some people gain the weight back. It's a tool not a promise!

Congratulations on getting here. It is cold feet and we all had it at this period in our journey. Do not get discouraged, it is not that you will not be able to enjoy food, you will enjoy it. It will just be a different relationship with food. I did feel like you and I mourned food and was conflicted but I must say going ahead with my surgery was the best decision of my life. I am still early in the post phase but I am slowly learning this new relationship with food.

Let me tell you what's fun.

Walking into ANY store and buying an outfit because you love it, not just because it fits, is fun.

Pulling warm jeans out of the dryer, sliding them on and buttoning them easily is fun.

Wearing bright colors and patterns is fun.

Pushing away a plate of food and enjoying conversation is fun.

Hiking, biking, playing frisbee, dancing without getting sweaty and out of breath right away is fun.

Fitting in a roller coaster, an airplane seat, a movie theater chair, down a bus aisle, etc. is fun.

Wearing heels without foot pain is fun.

Getting up without knee pain, back pain or weight gain is fun.

Not feeling guilty about cheating on your diet is fun.

Food controlling your life is not fun. Living your life is fun.

What you're feeling is SO NORMAL. All our lives, most of us made food a priority. We wouldn't have gotten obese otherwise. You will be amazed how after you go through the surgery and healing, food will almost become an afterthought. You'll enjoy losing weight and feeling great and not having food have that hold over you anymore. I now enjoy the movie without stuffing my face, enjoy the company of others and the conversation at dinner and parties as opposed to worrying about stuffing my face. It's very freeing!

Why would I regret being healthier and happier?

It is for sure a trade-off. One you won't regret!

For every movie with popcorn or a cheeseburger with friends there will be a new dress you never thought you could fit into or the feeling of fitting into a amusement park ride or going on a bike ride or looking great in a pair of jeans or sleeping comfortably through the night or not having to take a bunch of meds to keep you alive or not being embarrassed to get on a plane.

Nothing taste as good as being healthy, thin and having self confidence feels.

It's hard to believe it right now, but this is not the end of your food life.

You'll get it back -- just healthier and more in sync with what "normal" people do.

Last night I had pizza.

Tonight for dessert I had chocolate ice cream.

I don't do that every day. But I can do it several times a week.

Hope you are as surprised as I was when post surgery...food became so LESS important ... I would not have believed it. Truly

Best of luck

Thank you all. Your responses have really helped me feel A LOT better about my decision. I guess it's just one if those days..

Although we cook at home 95 % of the time, I can still eat at any restaurant, I just choose foods that are easy for me to eat , and eat slowly and chew well. You will learn a whole new way to approach eating, but what you gain in knowledge, you 'll lose in weight. Good luck !!!

Best of luck! I think it's normal. Enjoyed reading everyone's threads. I am having surgery on Monday and have felt a lot of these emotions today. So, know that you are not alone. Not so much of feeling like I'll never eat again, but will I do this right?

I didn't because as much as I like good food, food didn't always = fun. I developed multiple food allergies and my old friend food put me into a 4 day coma and sent me to the ER more times than I could count. I had to always be vigilant on guard, taking a magnifying glass with me to the supermarket and reading labels to make sure I didn't get items that would trigger my allergies. I was ready to change my relationship with food. I never viewed it as not being able to have food ever again, just having better control foods I do eat an enjoy.

I viewed it as an adjustment rather than a restriction so I never felt deprived. I don't regret for one single moment having this surgery. I wish I had done it sooner.

There are sooo many things you can do when you lose weight that will also be fun.

Read some of the stories and testimonials on this post...it will remind you why you began this journy and where you want to go...http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/195065-you-know-you-lost-weight-when/ God speed on your journey.

Oh, yes... and not that long ago. The way that you describe it, like a breakup, was pretty accurate for me as well. I had a very abusive relationship with food (on my part). I love good food. I love cooking, I love eating, I love it all. I have a particularly strong preference for potatoes, bread, Pasta, and cream based sauces. In the two weeks before my surgery, I was annoyed, angry, weepy, any everything in between. I literally cried for the loss of my (to toot my own horn) incredible homemade chicken fettuccine alfredo. Finally, I accepted that I was letting go of a part of my life that's been huge for a long time. Going through a breakup, if you will... and I went through the stages of loss.

The way I'm looking at it now is that food and I can be friends, but we can never be in the kind of abusive relationship we were in before. In six months or so, I'll see my old friend potato, and I'll take a bite or two - after I've eaten my Protein, veggies, and fruit, and IF I have room. You're not giving up your life, but you're changing your relationship with food forever - and you'll need a break from each other for a while before you can be friends again.

I'm 16 days postop now, and I can't remember how long it's been since I've felt as good as I do. I'm not even joking. I'm so thrilled for you, and hope that you have the level of experience I'm having. Severing that tie to food is hard, but I can't even begin to describe how liberating it is once you accept it. I wish you the best!

@@CrimsonCarousel ... wonderful post. Just wonderful. And some great analogies.