You decide to get WLS so you can lose weight and get healthy. You know it won’t be easy, but often, people assume you’re getting WLS because you’re lazy, or you feel guilty for taking the easy way out even though you know that’s ridiculous.

Fair or not, there’s often a lot of guilt involved with WLS. Do you (or did you) feel guilty about deciding to get WLS? Why? Was it because of outside pressure, or did you just feel guilty? Do you still feel guilty? How did you get over your guilt? Do you feel the need to justify your decision?

For me, I was lucky. My family was supportive, and I guess I didn’t really look at other people’s perspectives. I just knew I needed to do something, and I did. By now, I am proud to say I have the lap-band, and my ability to live a happy life is all the justification I feel I need.

@@Sajijoma, I couldn't agree more - that's why I went ahead and did it. It's just hard when money is so tight in the meantime - I'm between jobs at the moment (transitioning from teacher to principal and in the heat of interviews with no end in sight).

Why would I feel guilty for doing the smartest thing I could do? Nothing else would have eliminated my diabetes or high blood pressure 2 days later?

I don't worry about what other people think, they do not live my life. The important people have supported me from the beginning. I have not hidden my surgery from anyone and have shared my story with many people. I hope that if they feel it is the right decision for them their results are as good as mine.

I didn't tell anyone but immediate family that I was having WLS. I feel guilty when asked how I'm losing weight... Luckily I'm a slow loser and everyone knows I've been doing Weight Watchers for years so I tell them that and exercise. I feel bad though because its not entirely true! I will never feel guilty for having surgery though, it has been the best decision I've ever made!

Only guilt I have ever felt was not having it sooner and gaining control over my life much much sooner. Wish I could of done it alone but I'm not feeling guilt for finding a tool to help me in my journey to a long and healthier lifestyle.

you nailed it!!!!!

A little P.S. to this ...

One of the biggest contributors to my obesity was my inactive lifestyle. By inactive, I mean my resistance to standing up and walking across the room to do something, to walking for exercise, to moving for pretty much any reason at all.

But here's the deal ... when you're obese, you hurt. Your knees, back, entire body hurts. You're not insane for not wanting to move, you're just trying not to hurt.

One of the biggest shocks about having lost over 90 pounds is that now I move it, move it, move it. I want to walk, I want to clean house, I want to walk around the living room while the microwave is heating up Water for my tea, I want to make the bed, I want to walk into the bathroom and brush my teeth, I want to mow the lawn, I want to do the grocery shopping. I want to go on business trips and go shopping at the mall and take the garbage out to the garbage can and take the stairs.

I even move my ankles in circles when I'm sitting down.

And that makes all the difference in the world in terms of the calories I'm burning up and the new metabolism I'm buildling. I can now eat 1,750 calories a day at 144 pounds and not gain weight. I'm not sure but what I wasn't gaining weight at 235 pounds while eating 1,750 calories a day.

There's a point you cross as you get fatter and fatter where things get really rough. You simply can't move enough to keep your metabolism high enough to lose weight even if you're not eating all that much.

I honestly don't know how else I could have lost all this weight if I hadn't had WLS. And I didn't truly appreciate the interaction of all these factors until I'd gone through the weight loss phases and nearly 3 months of maintenance. I also know there's a lot more for me to learn.

It's time now with 70% of American adults being overweight or obese that we start having grown-up conversations about the complexity of obesity and the elements required for its solution.

"Just say no" is about the stupidest approach to reducing obesity that I could imagine. If fixing it were simple, I'd be all for that. However, after you've crossed the obesity bridge it ain't all that simple to get back across it.

The guilt associated with WLS would evaporate if, as a society, we understood the actual causes that made us obese and kept us obese from a scientific/medical perspective, instead of from a moral perspective.

Shame and guilt not only don't help us -- they just damage us more.