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Getting depressed as I get closer to my date



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So I don't know what is going on with me, but this week I have been so depressed. My surgery date is March 20th but I have been feeling really low about my body and being single. I am trying to stay positive but it just crept up on me this week and it is a battle. My weight has always been an issue for me and now I am making the conscious decision to make changes in my life. I am so anxious for me to sit on the losers bench, but I want to be happy now and not depressed about things that will change soon! In a few months I will start losing weight, and feeling better about myself...but this feeling now is for the birds! I have been praying and any encouraging words will be great for this supportive group!

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I'm feeling you! I got depressed over the past month as I am getting closer to my date. For me it is anxiety related depression. This is going to be a major change in my life. Who am I going to be when I go through this process? I have always said "When I lose weight I'm going to......" Well, now I have to be in control of my life. I can't blame being fat...I can't create comfort with food. Now I am responsible for creating the life I was meant to lead. That is some heavy s***t to bear! It is far to overwhelming for me to handle by myself.

I have to make a commitment to taking care of myself because that is where depression hits me most of all. I get the dishes washed...I take a shower...if something happens at work I stand up for myself....I make sure my clothes are clean and in good shape....brush teeth...use deodorant....all the self-care stuff.

Try watching stand up comedy on youtube. What makes you happy? Try to find things that make you smile.

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Well first, I'll say congratulations on your decision to take care of yourself in this way. This is not an easy decision. I think sometimes the 'intrinsic value' that society and 'our' culture puts on the diet and exercise mentality is easy to internalize. It's easy to feel like 'well I 'should' be able to this on my own.' The truth is for most of us, if that were possible it would have been done already. Staying in that place can be depressing. But the bottom line this is a life changing decision. It's empowering. This is an opportunity to rebuild, create an even more authentic identity for yourself. Is there a counselor/therapist that specializes in bariatric patients? You can do this!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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