Holy crap. I've gained 20 lbs in less than two months. :drum: :tea:

Right now I'm sitting on tenterhooks about my rebanding, since the insurance coverage is not a sure thing. The house is full of fruit and lean Protein, but there's nothing standing between me and what seems to be compulsive eating. I can't tell the difference between hunger and habit. It almost seems like someone else is putting things in my mouth. (Holy cow, that sounds bizarre!)

Clothes are already too small, and my closet is a scary, depressing place once again. My legs are slamming together, and my reflection in the mirror is frightening. I feel worse now about my weight than I've ever felt in my life, and my family is bearing the brunt. This absolutely sucks.

Sorry to share my black mood with everyone. But I know getting it out is better than any alternative.

Alexandra,

My prayers are with you as you wait the awful wait. I am not going to give you any advice. Just know that I am thinking of you.

Dear Alexandra,

Having battled weight all my life, I relate to everything you're saying and I feel your pain 200%.

I too am hesitant about giving advise, however, I am compelled to share some thoughts:

Put yourself first, love yourself and keeping reminding yourself of where you want to be and what you need to do to MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.

Oh Alexandra -- I feel your frustration -- please stay strong!

What is the update on being re-banded? Do you have a date - if not can I ask what they are waiting for to determine if/when they can re-band.

Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

Gina

That really sucks I fell bad that you are going through that. I hope you get your band back very soon, and ins pays for it. And just think of all the success you have already had! your before and after pics are unreal! Like 2 differnt people, and you won't go back there RIGHT!

Dear Alexandra,

Having battled weight all my life, I relate to everything you're saying and I feel your pain 200%.

I too am hesitant about giving advise, however, I am compelled to share some thoughts:

Put yourself first, love yourself and keeping reminding yourself of where you want to be and what you need to do to MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. You know only you can control what you eat and you have to have the mindset to eat only what's nutritionally necessary to live. Eat to live healthy, vs. live to eat.

It is so so so hard. That's a definite. But a future of health issues and unhappiness will be devastating. Please don't let it happen.

Clarice

Thank you all so much. When moods like this strike we feel like it's something no one else has ever faced, it's the worst thing ever. But coming here reminds us that we're NOT alone, and it's support like this that makes it tolerable.

What is the update on being re-banded? Do you have a date - if not can I ask what they are waiting for to determine if/when they can re-band.

It's all about insurance right now. I do have a date, it's next Monday, but if my insurance carrier doesn't precertify we're going to have to call it off. I know my surgeon will work with me but there is just no way I could afford the hospital costs. My husband has been such a rock with me on everything, I can't ask him to let us take on another $20,000 of debt just because I can't stop stuffing my face.

There is hope. The initial denial was due to my "low" BMI; I no longer qualify for bariatric surgery. But it's a replacement/revision, not a new placement; my doctor's office has dealt with my carrier on similar situations, and they tell me an appeal has a good chance of succeeding. We'll file it tomorrow, and should know one way or the other by Thursday.

I will cross every finger, every toe and anything else I can think of for you to get approval!

Oh gosh Alex, that really sticks! I sincerely hope the insurance goes through. Hang in there and think positive thoughts! You are fortunate to have your family to support you. And all of us at LBT are rooting for ya! Best of luck.

hi alexandra.

thank you for your post. i have in the back of my mind that i will have the band removed once i get down to my weight. i have had alot of trouble with the band.

your story is telling me i have to reconsider. i also think i need to deal with the emotional component of our problem.

most people i noticed deal with the physical (which is big).

i have a good feeling about your doctor being able to accomplish this....

good luck and keep us posted

Alex,

sorry to hear about your gain.

hopefully insurance will cover all of it.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. You'll loose that weight and more in no time once your rebanded. Please keep up the faith. Keep us informed, you know we are all praying and thinking about you during these trying times.

I can really relate. I had good restriction after surgery and lost weight pretty well. Now the restriction almost gone, and I'm back to eating the way I did before. I've gained 5 pounds already. When I had restriction I thought I had "learned new ways of eating," etc. But no, the second I was able to eat more again, I ate more. I'm going in for my first fill on May 30th. I hope it gives me some restriction again quick.

I hope it all works out for your insurance. If by chance it does not, you may want to think about Dr. Kirshenbaum in Denver. It's $9950. I'm sure you know about that already, but just thought I'd mention it. $20,000 seems pretty high.

Also, I don't know your financial situation, but if you do need to take on more debt for this, it is not because you are a bad person who can't stop stuffing your face. This is much more complicated than that. This is a medical issue, not an episode of personal failure. Your health is what matters here. I believe that the money part will work itself out.

Alex, I too am so sorry about what you are going through right now. I am also keeping you in my thoughts and hope everything turns out positive for you.

Alex, you know I know what you're going through. Especially the legs slamming together, although I think of it as thighs slapping together. It's such a crappy feeling. Please try to remember that if we knew how to keep weight off, we wouldn't have gotten the band!

This is my normal state now::hungry:, although I must say it's gotten somewhat better knowing the solution (tool!) is in sight. Hopefully that will happen for you too.

I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

Karen

It really is a medical issue, not a personal failure, I like that way of looking at it.

We all feel like we've changed for the better when we have good restriction but nearly every one of us would be in the exact same situation if we were in your shoes.

I'm praying that you get that new band soon.