Telling about surgery

[kimpossible67 608]

Enough already! Can we just let this thread die??? Ugh so sorry I started it in the first place! I had no idea how offensive it turned out to be. Let's just all agree we are grateful for this wonderful tool and this great forum meant to SUPPORT EACH OTHER!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

While I sincerely respect and admire those of you who have had the courage to tell others about your bariatric surgery, I do not think omitting the fact the you had WLS surgery should be chided, especially by your own community. I highly dislike comments that insinuate someone is a liar for not exposing something that is truly a personal decision. I agree strongly as well however, that it is important for others to inform the public about this process as so many people remain ignorant about the disease of obesity. You are being of service and potential being a great resource and inspiration for other who may need the surgery or have loved ones who do. However, don't knock your trudging buddy for having a different path, please respect those of us who decide to remain anonymous. It is an understandable not to make your surgery public, considering the judgement and pain many of us have already experienced. I understand many of you have tried to remain civil about your opinion and don't consider your comments hurtful, but it really is not in your place to judge our desire to keep things private.

I am a member of AA. Like obesity, alcoholism is also a disease. For various reasons, I don't go around telling others I don't drink because I have the disease of alcoholism. No one in the program would ever question this, we support one another. I feel those who chose to share are courageous and an inspiration, but they in turn, they completely understand my position and don't make me feel like I am lying by saying "I am good" or "I have had enough" or "no thanks" when offered a drink I can not take. Why? Because they understand the stigma. They understand the judgment of others and the fact that not everyone has the energy to deal with being the spokesperson for the resolution of a disease. AA, like bariatric surgery, is common knowledge. It is not a secret society, we should not be made to feel like liars because we do not share every aspect of our journey.

So please, just stop. Be proud of your courage, I love that people like you are out there, I really think you who chose to share are amazing folks. But it is also not in your place to comment on those of us who don't.

Best post on this thread.

Thank you.

[Brn2blossom 88]

Ill tell anyone, but I dont broadcast it on Facebook. Its a personal topic that Id rather say to peoples faces. What I have found to be funny is my skinny healthy friends are soo supportive but my overweight friends have kinda snubbed me. Weird.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Ah, this old chestnut -- should we tell or not to tell others about our decision to have WLS, and now defend your position, damnit! -- comes up over and over on WLS forums.

The two opposing positions are always the same: You must be completely transparent or you're lying vs. I don't have to tell anyone a damn thing about my personal beeswax.

There are rampant differences among WLS patients' family / work / social situations and their personalities / values / psychological needs / lifestyles.

If your needs are met by telling people, then by all means tell people. If your needs are met by not telling people, then don't tell people.

Peace out.