Surgery is in 2 days and my husband decided that he wanted to announce that he was going to leave me last night. He warned me months and months ago that if I decided to get this surgery and "get skinny" that he would "no longer be attracted to (me) " and we would end up getting a divorce but he always made it sound like a joke! I am shocked and irritated all at the same time. He had seemed so supportive to me during the pre op diet and held my hand through the 40 pound weight loss thus far...... Has anyone here lost a spouse due to the decision to go thru with the WLS? I know what people are going to say that there has to be more to it and you are probably right, there probably is but he has announced this as the reason. I have been wondering for the last few days if I am making the right decision to have WLS and now I am even more scared to go thru with it.... Just needed to vent, where in the world is that ' rant section' anyway???

@@Idahospud I pray that your surgery as well as your marriage are well. I've never read a story like yours but I do know that selfishness exist.

@Rovoboy , thank you for checking in on me and thank everyone soooooo much for the support!!! I most definitely need it. He admitted yesterday that he is "beating me to the punch" because I will leave him when I get smaller (which is a load of crap) but none the less he is set on a divorce and unfortunately right now I don't have the energy to fight it. Surgery went really well for me and now I just have to try to stay focused. With the current situation it is pretty hard to get all my fluids in because I am not hungry or thirsty so it is hard to remember to sip all day long while my mind is beating myself up for "why I couldn't keep him happy."

BUT none the less I went threw with the surgery and now I HAVE to think about myself cause no one can drink the Protein for me or make the daily choices that will effect me the rest of my life. So as pathetic as it may sound I am taking my life minute by minute and hour by hour.... .THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! Thank goodness for BP

actually, taking it moment to moment is brilliant. When you feel better you can look at the big picture. For now, healing from surgery is job #1. Take care. All my best to you!

Hey Idahospud! Just wanted to say hello and hope your having a good day and are on the mend. How are you doing with your fluids and protein?

@@Mayaresearchmom, I am really struggling with the intake and Protein. The surgeon wanted me at 64 oz and it seems as if I am literally FORCING to get anything over 32 oz a day. Seems like I am sipping all day on Protein shakes and haven't even had much time to think about Water. I am hoping that the farther out I get from surgery the easier it will be to get the 64 oz and over.

That is what is so hard. I feel like I am being selfish by going thru with the surgery and I have felt guilty for even wanting it from day one BUT I feel like I NEED it. I have 2 littles at home (3 1/2 yr & 20 months) and I want to be there for them as the healthy fun mom, not the fat tired one. The fatter I got the more co dependant I became/ am. I am insanely afraid of failing at this and now am worried that I will fail it like I do every other diet and even my marriage. Wish I would have enrolled in counceling BEFORE this happened. Then maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of it.

You are NOT being selfish. You are doing it to be around for your kids! You are doing it for your health, you are DOING SO YOUR KIDS CAN ENJOY THEIR MOTHER LONGER! That is not selfish. Selfish is leaving, or threatening some to leave as they try to get a handle on their health.

Good luck to you! But sounds like he needs counseling too

Best of luck

You are only a few days out from surgery, so I am sure you are doing fine. My doc told me to just try to get as much as possible in, and just to try to increase the amount every day until you reach the amount. I am 4 months out, and there are still days that I struggle to get in all the fluids. And I tend to stick closer to the 60 grams of protein as opposed to the upper limit of 80 grams. Keep your chin up, you can do this!

Hi Idaho! Like all the others here, I'm happy that you went through with the surgery. Remember, it's not that you couldn't keep him, it's that he was afraid he couldn't keep you. There's a HUGE difference!!! As for the intakes, for the first week or so, fluids are more important than Protein. Work on getting the liquid in first and just do your best with the protein. And try drinking Crystal Light (or generic) decaf sugar-free iced tea. Many of us have found that to be the secret to getting in our fluids. I bought myself two 24-oz. Tervis tumblers at Bed, Bath & Beyond (and the sold-separately handles). One for home and one for work. The opening in the top is a perfect sipping size! I drink one tumbler of iced tea throughout the morning, one during the afternoon, and one between dinner and bedtime. (With 30 minutes or more before and after meals, of course.) That's 72 ounces right there, not including any Protein shakes. Continued good luck and keep the faith. Only one of you is doing the right thing, and that's you!!!

Idaho, the first few weeks it's very challenging to get in all the Protein AND all the Water. Just keep doing a little better every day. Figure out what will work for you on the water. Here are some tricks I've seen people use:

* drink water from a camelbak water bottle (google it)

* set timers (5 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever) and sip the same number of sips every time.

* count your water bottles drained

* drink targets of X ounces every Y hours. (Keeps me focused, I know.)

* take a water bottle with you on your daily walk(s)

* alternate a bottle of zero-cal flavored water with a bottle of unflavored water. (Or alternate sips of flavored / unflavored water.)

* drink decaffeinated herbal tea (works for me)

* drink coconut water (expensive, but some people swear by it)

* drink water while driving - set goals for water drunk "to the grocery store" or "driving to work"

* record every 8 ounces drunk (MyFitnessPal allows you to do this, too)

* add lemon or lime juice to your water

* add Mio drops to your water

* drink X ounces of water every time you, e.g., go to the bathroom, stand up, sit down, let the dog or the cat in/out of the house, pass a mirror, etc.

* put ice chips in your water (if you like ice chips)

* try a straw (yes, I know the docs say not to use straws, but some people say they do help; hey, experiment!)

You can probably think of some more ways to help increase your water intake.

Good luck.

Thank you all so much for checking and cheering me on along the way It has helped tremendously!!! I got in 54 oz of Fluid yesterday, whoot whoot! lol @@VSGAnn2014 I have taken on many of your suggestions and that seems to help quite a bit, thank you so much

Idaho, the first few weeks it's very challenging to get in all the Protein AND all the Water. Just keep doing a little better every day. Figure out what will work for you on the water. Here are some tricks I've seen people use:

* drink water from a camelbak water bottle (google it)

* set timers (5 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever) and sip the same number of sips every time.

* count your water bottles drained

* drink targets of X ounces every Y hours. (Keeps me focused, I know.)

* take a water bottle with you on your daily walk(s)

* alternate a bottle of zero-cal flavored water with a bottle of unflavored water. (Or alternate sips of flavored / unflavored water.)

* drink decaffeinated herbal tea (works for me)

* drink coconut water (expensive, but some people swear by it)

* drink water while driving - set goals for water drunk "to the grocery store" or "driving to work"

* record every 8 ounces drunk (MyFitnessPal allows you to do this, too)

* add lemon or lime juice to your water

* add Mio drops to your water

* drink X ounces of water every time you, e.g., go to the bathroom, stand up, sit down, let the dog or the cat in/out of the house, pass a mirror, etc.

* put ice chips in your water (if you like ice chips)

* try a straw (yes, I know the docs say not to use straws, but some people say they do help; hey, experiment!)

You can probably think of some more ways to help increase your water intake.

Good luck.

What great ideas!! The only problem I would have is the OZ with letting the Dog in or out. I would be at 64oz by lunch!

...perhaps he is afraid you will get skinny and leave him so he is trying to beat you to it?

my husband and i have had long talks about this...my husband loves big women, that's why he married me, well that and my stunning intellect, sharp wit and fierce self-esteem but seriously, i was worried if he would still be attracted to me when i lost weight...he promises me he loves me, no matter the size...but i still wonder, when he grabs my ample bottom as i walk by, if he really would be ok...i have to trust that he will.

@@Idahospud

Your almost 2 weeks out! How's your recovery going?

@@Mayaresearchmom, things are going great! Getting better everyday. Just can't wait to start losing weight. How long did it take everyone to start seeing results??

Idahospud,

I don't have the answer about losing weight because I haven't been sleeved yet but I wanted you to know that you have been on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers as well. You are so inspiring and brave. I have no doubt that you are going to be very successful with your sleeve. Kudos to you and best wishes. I will be anxiously awaiting updates from you.

That is what is so hard. I feel like I am being selfish by going thru with the surgery and I have felt guilty for even wanting it from day one BUT I feel like I NEED it. I have 2 littles at home (3 1/2 yr & 20 months) and I want to be there for them as the healthy fun mom, not the fat tired one. The fatter I got the more co dependant I became/ am. I am insanely afraid of failing at this and now am worried that I will fail it like I do every other diet and even my marriage. Wish I would have enrolled in counceling BEFORE this happened. Then maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of it.

I understand your feeling of being selfish. Let me say this my biggest fear is having this surgery and changing. But then I thought about it and I deserve every opportunity to expand my life span. I have 3 kids to think about and one is a toddler. I want to be there for them. I have become the mom that delegates work to the kids as I sit on the couch because I'm too tired and fat to help clean up. I don't want to be that person. I want to be able to get the rides with them at the amusement park. I want to be able to keep up with my 19 month old son. So you deserve this just as much as everyone in here do. You're not being selfish by doing the surgery. You will be cheating yourself out on happiness and being a great mom to your kids. So do it for them. Most importantly do it for you. Life is to short not to take advantage of any good opportunity. (Sorry long response)