Surgery is in 2 days and my husband decided that he wanted to announce that he was going to leave me last night. He warned me months and months ago that if I decided to get this surgery and "get skinny" that he would "no longer be attracted to (me) " and we would end up getting a divorce but he always made it sound like a joke! I am shocked and irritated all at the same time. He had seemed so supportive to me during the pre op diet and held my hand through the 40 pound weight loss thus far...... Has anyone here lost a spouse due to the decision to go thru with the WLS? I know what people are going to say that there has to be more to it and you are probably right, there probably is but he has announced this as the reason. I have been wondering for the last few days if I am making the right decision to have WLS and now I am even more scared to go thru with it.... Just needed to vent, where in the world is that ' rant section' anyway???

I am by no means sticking up for this dude, but maybe he is legit afraid you'll leave him so he's beating you to the punch (so to speak). That bring said, he's a tool for telling you this the night before surgery. He knows you'll worry and fret.

I hope your procedure went well, girl.

Hope everything went well in surgery.

this is a crappy situation and I'm sorry you're put in this position - it sucks.

I had weight loss surgery because I needed to get healthy and I didn't want to hate myself anymore. It really had nothing to do with anyone else or their opinion of me.

I wish I could tell you what I would do in your situation, but I can't. I would be devastated, angry and sad.

I wish you good things! Sending you hugs and encouragement.

Oh sister! If you only knew how much better you will feel, how FREE you will feel, you would hand him a suitcase and help him pack. I don't want to minimize the pain of heartache. I know it hurts. He is a control freak to try to keep you from a HEALTHIER life. I have a supportive husband but we have issues. This surgery, and weight loss has been the best thing I've ever done. Yes, I think it's made him feel a but left out from "life" but I won't sit back and let life pass me by! He either sits here or goes with me. So far, he's gone with. You have no idea how absurd this whole thought process will seem in a year. You are so deserving of being healthy! I sure wish you peace and healing through this. Sending you encouragement - you are so much stronger than you know!

So glad you decided to go ahead with your surgery. Wishing you a speedy recovery, and a wonderful new beginning. Hug those babies when you get home, and enjoy that unconditional love that can only come from a child. We are all here supporting you.

Give us an update on how you're feeling. Thanks !

@@Idahospud how did surgery go. please update us. hope you are well!!!

@Rovoboy , thank you for checking in on me and thank everyone soooooo much for the support!!! I most definitely need it. He admitted yesterday that he is "beating me to the punch" because I will leave him when I get smaller (which is a load of crap) but none the less he is set on a divorce and unfortunately right now I don't have the energy to fight it. Surgery went really well for me and now I just have to try to stay focused. With the current situation it is pretty hard to get all my fluids in because I am not hungry or thirsty so it is hard to remember to sip all day long while my mind is beating myself up for "why I couldn't keep him happy."

BUT none the less I went threw with the surgery and now I HAVE to think about myself cause no one can drink the Protein for me or make the daily choices that will effect me the rest of my life. So as pathetic as it may sound I am taking my life minute by minute and hour by hour.... .THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! Thank goodness for BP

I am so glad you went ahead with the surgery and that you are now recovering. In the early days post-op, it is definitely best to take life minute-by-minute anyway. Have some patience as it really will get better quite quickly.

Your husband is going to do what he's going to do and there is nothing you can/should do about it right now. You should be 100% focused on yourself and your recovery right now.

*HUGS*

Edited October 1, 201411 yr by JamieLogical

Hey great to hear everything went well sending good thoughts your way u are so right to focus on getting well now it's so vital to do what u need to to get stronger best wishes and good luck Hugs

He sounds a lot like my ex husband! Just don't let him make you feel guilty about a decision HE made.

Here's my thoughts on the subject: #1 When he fell in love with you, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with what you looked like...he was supposed to fall in love with who you were as a person. #2 If he has threatened you before, and now this because you CHOSE to live a healthier lifestyle, than shame on him for stopping you, he should WANT that for you so that you can live a longer life as his wife. He made vows to love you unconditionally, and he is choosing to break those vows over weight loss??

I am so sorry your going through this right now being so close...but it sounds like you were doing this for him, or as a means of perhaps saving the marriage thinking what he was telling you all along was perceived a joke. Life and being healthy is no joke...so the only advise I have is ask him if he wants you to help him pack!!

sounds like he is coming from a place of fear. Let him cool off and see how he is in 24 hours. My husband made a comment about me losing weight and leaving him as well and this is the most laid back non controlling person in the world so if he's not usually this manipulative he may come to his senses in a day. If he's always like this then it's a bigger issue that needs to be addressed. Just know that you need to do what is right for your health and well being and that usually is best for the entire family even if he can't see that now. Good luck.

That's not pathetic at all!! I expect life to be like that right after surgery anyway. It is very sad that you don't have him to support you but you have already found the inner strength to go through with the surgery and it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders because you know is best for you right now. Besides, you have a ton of support and people rooting for you here on this forum! Get healthy for your kids. Maybe he will come around, maybe he won't. Either way you are doing the right thing!

So happy to hear you went through with the surgery and are on the mend! So sorry to hear about your husband's decision to end the marriage. You are right - you only have so much energy and you know that what energy you have has to go to taking care of YOU! I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself. You are worth it!!

Hugs,

Irene