Some of us wouldn't like if someone got in our personal stuff, I consider my surgery personal. When I go out dining with people who aren't close and don't know about my surgery I have to make excuses of my food portions (usually I go with heart burn) what do you usually say if you've been through this?

Just tell them you are on a diet, and trying to eat healthier food choices and watching your portion sizes. They should respect you for those decisions. I don't think you need to delve into your personal medical history to justify what you want or are able to eat; nor do they need any further information beyond a polite comment to that effect. Or just say you've lost your appetite as of late, and that you feel better eating lighter meals.

Still pre-op, but one of my favorites for people I don't want to eat around is, "I had a late lunch"

I just ran into an instance this week...I telecommute full time and had to go to the home office this week. I ate out most lunches and dinners with people that didn't know I had surgery. I'm very private - 6 people know I've done this.

So, here are my examples...

I ordered a cheesesteak sandwich at a pizza & Pasta place - there weren't many choices that were sleeve friendly, this was the choice I made. I ordered it without the bun and my coworker looked at me a little odd. I said, "I'm cutting carbs." He shrugged and continued to eat his pizza and we talked about work. I didn't feel the need to elaborate.

At dinner one night we had lobster - where they deliver the whole lobster to you and you have to work for your food! LOL My friend said, "With all this weight you've lost are you going to eat a salad?" I replied, "No, I'm going to order the lobster and enjoy every bite of it!" When I was finished I said, "That was rich! I love it!" And we started talking about something else.

After lunch one day, we asked for to-go cups for our beverages. The waitress asked, "You didn't drink your tea. Do you want me to get you something else? Was it OK?" I said, "It was great, I just don't drink a lot with my meal."

I also find it's good to cover your plate with a napkin - this hides the fact that you ate very little.

I have found that if you are engaged in conversation, enjoying your time with friends, people really don't pay attention to your plate. Go out and enjoy yourself. Savor the great food! Have a wonderful time!

I rarely go out to eat, but if I do, I do not explain myself to anyone when ordering, unless I feel like humoring them. Then I might tell them I am a surgically altered freak.

If it bothers you that much, turn it on their ignorance. " Studies show that it takes roughly 20 minutes for your brain to realize when it is full. I eat slower to let it catch up and it works". My sister is obese and is trying to eat slower instead of wolfing down her food. She normally eats so fast and so much she vomits later and is hungry again. She is trying to understand this is why she is gaining instead of loosing weight.

Though I am pre-op this is something I've given a lot of thought and I basically decided I don't owe anyone any excuses or explanations unless I want to tell them. It really isn't their business and in this day & time lots of people are on special diets for a variety of reasons. If anyone insists on drawing attention to how much you are eating and why, they are just being downright rude.

It is perfectly fine to set whatever boundaries you want with people. I told a coworker that I was planning WLS (because it will affect her job too) and she asked "how much weight do you have to lose?" To me, that was way too personal - I don't want everyone knowing how much overweight I am, so I just answered "sorry, that is personal." and changed the subject.

i dont use any excuses. if someone comments on what i am eating, i say i am fine and ask how their meal is. or i say, "this is all i want."

its not anyone's business. i usually take the "thanks for your concern, how are you?" route.

people love to talk about themselves, just redirect them. nod, smile, shrug, or chuckle and then ask them about themselves. works every time.

I also do not use excuses. I tell it like it is. In my opinion, the stress of lying/making excuses is detrimental to my success.

I must be not in tune or something. I just don't pay any attention to the other ppl and they leave me alone. to many ppl eat funny these days. no gluten, no meat, no starches, I just don't think ppl are that interested anymore.

Great come back! I will have to use it

After resting peacefully at home for 5 weeks, I'm going back to the the outside world to work. Not only that I have to see colleagues in my office but hundreds of staff in the organisation. I don't think they would notice some changes of my body (only lost 23 lbs post-op) but eating with people might be challenging lol

Thanks for all suggestions.

No excuses given. I tell them I have decided to take control of my health. Only people I have told is my "sister" who is a friend I have known since age 4 so she is family and she is also a licensed psychologist so I can trust her that much more. Obviously my hubby knows. Thats it. I got my surgeon and dietician to give me notes for work so I can eat properly and as I need but the notes do not specify why exactly.

That is all anyone needs to do. Your medical info is private and you shouldn't feel obliged to share.

SO private about my WLS -- not sure why but whatever. We have a pretty social life here in the middle of nowhere, lol, and I've developed a couple of techniques. (Macbutterpants, thanks for the napkin idea -- great one!). I'm busy -- if we are hosting at home that's easy, up and down from the table. But at a restaurant I might pop up for a sec and go look at the artwork or view. I talk about stuff other than the food. People are thinking about themselves ("just like I am right now," I tell myself when I'm worried they are thinking about me -- um, probably not!) so I ask them about themselves.

If I'm feeling nervous my band feels tight and I can't eat -- kind of a vicious circle. A work event or something like that, new people, me in a weird mood, whatever -- if I'm anxious then it's going to be worse. Here's what I say, "oh, I can't believe I had that Protein shake this morning -- now I'm so full!" Then I order my little appetizer and pick at it.

I hang with some chef types and Lordy, do they watch for response to the food. But what they are looking for -- a taster who really savors a bite and gets the complexity -- is exactly what I wanted to be when I got WLS: some one who loves food but in very small portions at appropriate intervals. Can't believe I would ever be considered a delicate eater, but that's what the truth is now. And a hell of a cheap date!

@@Bandista, I want to be a delicate eater too !