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Going It Alone - No Help After Surgery

Hello!

I tried to search and find if this subject had been addressed in the past and was unable to find anything.

I'm in the beginning stages of this process, I go next Friday 6/13 for my initial seminar and will set the first appointment with the surgeon then. I do not have any family in the state where I live, and I don't have a whole lot of local friends that do not have their own family obligations. I'm curious how difficult others found it coming home from the hospital after their surgery and not having any help around the house??

I have seen lots of youtube videos where people talk about having their families help them, but no one really talks about dealing with it on their own. I have a large dog (gentle giant) that I will have to take out about 3 times a day, but besides that I wouldn't have any other things that I forsee going on.

Thanks in advance for any feedback/advice.

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My husband was here but I hate people doting over me. I begged him to go back to work after a day or two. I did everything myself except carry gallons of milk. I asked the grocery store to pack my bags

under 8 lbs. We were told not to lift anything over 10. If I had to buy a gallon of something, I'd probably try to get it in a smaller size.

Other than that, I pushed the laundry basket with my feet so I didn't have to carry it, I took it slow when walking, limited my time on the stairs, etc. It was not difficult at all. Just know you will get out of bed slowly...especially without someone to help you up. Bending over was a little difficult for a few days, but I took things slowly.

I hate being waited on. I'm way too independent or that.

  • Author

@@JanaAZ I am not for being waited on or smothered either, when I had to have surgeries in the past and literally had to have help it made me a bit batty having to ask for stuff, I'd rather do it on my own. So I'm relieved to hear that the post-op isn't so horrible that you absolutely have to have help. :D

Biggest issue I see is getting back home from the hospital after the endoscopy and surgery. You may still be under the effects of anesthesia or pain medications and may not be able to drive yourself. Really handy to have someone to drive you home.

From my experience, I wouldn't see any reason you can't take your dog out a few times a day. I walked a mile 3 days after surgery and haven't stopped. My surgery was 4/14 and seriously the surgery itself was very easy. I only had pain meds at the hospital the first day, after that I didn't even need Tylenol. I had a lot of family around, but my doctor told us in our pre-surgery class to do things for yourself, especially after surgery. (of course not lifting heavy things) I really didn't need help anyway. Good luck to you and hope everything goes smoothly and as easy as I had it.

  • 6 months later...

Good thread. I had a hip replacement and only had someone with me for a couple days. I fought hard to come back and figured out ways to scoop kitty litter and such. Now i live near family but they range from "if it's what you have decided" to "you're an idiot" so it's good I'm still a fighter.

  • Author

@@purrfctangel Oh gosh! Yeah, I've still only told about 10 people and my surgery is next month. LOL I did tell one of my friends that I was taking a taxi to the surgery and she was like NO YOU AREN'T and now she's taking off of work and driving over an hour to get here and taking me. lol!! Sometimes 1 good friend is worth trading all your family for. I'm not so scared of doing recovery alone now though, a little anxiety but not too bad. =D I'm just ready for it to get here!

I have a friend in RI that did it on her own, lived on the third floor of a house with a steep winding stairway. It's mostly being as prepared as possible up front! We'll probably go about the same time. We are strong and can do this!

I think you will do fine. To me, this was an easy surgery. My husband took me to the hospital and brought me home, but he worked the rest of the time. He doesn't cook, so by day after coming home, I was cooking for him, and 1 week after was Christmas, I had help from my daughter Christmas but i shopped for groceries and still cooked a big Christmas dinner, and did light housekeeping. I'm really independent and didn't ask for help unless I really couldn't reach something. I actually was happiest when everyone exited the house in the morning and left me alone. Lol I was embarrassed to have to ask a sales clerk to pick something up I dropped...I don't know if it was a mental block but I stared at it...bent over to pick it up and nah...not going there yet...so asked for help...hurt my pride a bit but she was very gracious and probably wondered why this idiot was out shopping after surgery but I looked at it as exercise. I did a lot of walking in stores and didn't have a driving restriction if I wasn't taking pain meds. I think I would actually prefer to be alone after surgery with someone checking in occasionally...that sounds peaceful. :)

  • Author

@Foreverblessedx3 After having 7+ months to prepare now, my anxieties have eased up a lot. I think I was mostly really nervous about it and looking for feedback about it because I had 2 heart ablations in the past where I pretty much couldn't do anything for about a week after each one because I could barely walk from them going through my groins. But I'm glad to hear so many good experiences! The thought of recovery after a surgery can be intimidating lol =)

I felt like an upside down turtle the first few days

  • Author

@@Pac-woman that is a good description! haha I'm hoping you are feeling much better now =)

Ugh... i was in a body cast from neck to knees 20 years ago. Tried once to sleep on my stomach and got stuck, couldn't turn back over, definately in turtle mode lol. So i know what I'm looking at!

@@blondiebabs @@purrfctangel It is hilarious, frustrating, and exhausting to be an upside down turtle. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or feel sorry for myself. (all the above)

I would wiggle to the left, right and got no where. Used legs and arms, and plop back down. (all this while trying to avoid pain). And finally, FINALLY when you give in, you are exhausted and yell for help. LOL

So glad I am over that hump. Now I just get out of the chair and sit in one as if I am 90yrs old. I am in granny stage now.

Edited by Pac-woman

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