Hello!

I tried to search and find if this subject had been addressed in the past and was unable to find anything.

I'm in the beginning stages of this process, I go next Friday 6/13 for my initial seminar and will set the first appointment with the surgeon then. I do not have any family in the state where I live, and I don't have a whole lot of local friends that do not have their own family obligations. I'm curious how difficult others found it coming home from the hospital after their surgery and not having any help around the house??

I have seen lots of youtube videos where people talk about having their families help them, but no one really talks about dealing with it on their own. I have a large dog (gentle giant) that I will have to take out about 3 times a day, but besides that I wouldn't have any other things that I forsee going on.

Thanks in advance for any feedback/advice.

Although there are a lot of people that needed help due to pain or mobility/bending issues, fortunately I wasn't one of them. I was shopping the day after surgery, and flying, driving and more grocery shopping within 3 days postop. I am single and have 3 dogs and 2 horses to take care of. My lifting restriction was 20 pounds so the only real alteration I had to do was to carry one flake of hay at a time ( instead of 1/4 of the bale) and use a pitcher to fill the dog Water bowls (they are very heavy clay bowls that would have been hard to set down on the floor full of water). I had no problems getting in and out of my low waterbed, but again, others have reported having to sleep in a recliner. I had to go back to work after 7 days, and I was pretty tired and weak for a couple weeks, but nothing I needed help for.

I think you 'll do OK the activity will be good for you. Best of luck!

@@Forsythia thanks, I will have to look into that, I used to live in Sacramento, CA and you could have a lot delivered there too, but here you don't have quite as many luxuries. hehe I do have Amazon Prime though, so if all else fails I can have non fresh items pretty quick. =D

@@Kindle sounds like you had a full plate!! Thanks for the encouragement. =)

It makes me very sad that you don't have support. But huge kudos to you for moving ahead. I just got home on Wed from surgery. You will need someone to drive you home and for the next couple of days. You cannot drive while on pain meds. I would look for a friend in your area going through this. I met a great friend on this site who just happens to live 10 min away. She has been an awesome support to me. Good luck!!!

Thanks @@ges12877! =) I will definately be looking for a ride to the hospital and home. Hopefully by the time it actually happens I'll have met some more people in my local area who are going through it, that's great you found someone so close. Two of my coworkers are actually going through this as well as well so I do have a bit of a support system between the 3 of us. =)

The 3-person support group is a very good idea! You might also consider seeing if your surgeon's office can put you in touch with other sleevers or pre-sleevers in your city. Or, what about someone from your church?

If one of them can't drive you home after, you might consider hiring someone through a nurse staffing agency. Those companies provide all levels of caregivers - RNs, LPNs, and nursing assistants - and you could probably interview a few candidates in advance. You could hire him/her just to drive you, or you could add on that the person would stay with you for a pre-determined length of time just to be sure you are settled comfortably. And you could add on that he/she would come back the next day for a couple of hours to make sure you have everything you need within reach.

Best wishes!

Just chiming in -- I live alone and didn't have any "help" after the surgery. I didn't have any problems. I could pick stuff up off the floor (not heavy stuff of course) and do everything that needed getting done. My surgeon said it would help my healing to have to take care of getting my own drinks, light housework, etc. I have a large dog and she enjoyed the three walks a day she got during the two weeks I was home from work! Disclaimer: she doesn't jump up and leash pulling was not an issue since she walks off leash.* The only pet trouble I had was taking a nap and getting awakened by one of my cats taking a kamikaze dive from the top of my headboard onto my tummy. Painful but no damage done.

I had my housekeeper come by for an extra visit to take care of some of the heavy duty stuff and changing kitty litter, since I had an 8 lb lifting restriction. But even that was a nice luxury, not a necessity.

Good luck!

*dog lovers - don't worry, where I live it's safe to do that and no one walks their dog on a leash. Also, she's got a very solid recall.

@@JeanZ_RN that is a good idea about the caregivers. I may look into that at least for a ride home if I'm unable to nail down a friend or something. I'm one of those people that hates to be a burdon to others, so that is more up my alley. haha =)

@@Bufflehead that is great that you were able to recover alone so smoothly. I feel so much better after hearing everyone elses stories. I've had 2 heart surgeries and after those I needed a bit of help, so I think that is where my anxieties were stemming from. I wish I could let my dog walk off leash, my apartment complex has a strict leash rule. It is great yours can feel like a "normal" dog, as my coworker says when she walks her dog off leash. haha

Edited June 7, 201412 yr by blondiebabs

You will do great! I live alone too and have been doing really good just be careful not to over do things because you will feel like you can but you will be recovering from surgery! Sometimes I tend to forget that because I feel so ooo good! You can do it! We will be here to support you from far away, good luck

@@Mayshula Thanks a bunch!! =D

Oh, I don't know how private you are about this, but I did have a friend pick me up from the hospital (it was required); I took public transportation there. I told him I was having minor surgery and would need a ride. He had enough tact not to ask me any questions beyond that. He probably assumed it was "woman problems."! Haha!

@ LOL NICE!!

And I'm undecided about how private I want to be, right now I am being private, I told 2 friends, one was totally suportive and the other had we will just say a very unsuportive reaction. I'm leaning towards letting people assume I'm getting "woman problems surgery" HA!

Thank you for starting this topic. I haven't found it anywhere else either. I am also alone with no family where I live and only a few friends. Plus, they are work friends and I'm not ready to share this sort of information with them at this time. I have 2 small dogs. I think what I am going to do is ask a neighbor to walk my dogs for me for a few days because I am having a procedure done. She has 2 small dogs and we help each other out from time to time. Then, I am going to hire someone for a day. Where I live, there is a service called Visiting Angels. I used them before when I had a thyroidectomy and was in the same boat. You should have some sort of in home care in your area. The rates vary based on what you need. But I think for around $200 I can get someone to come in and check on me. Last time, she put in a load of laundry and made me some soup, etc. She hung out watching TV while I showered, etc. She was a lovely person and had been an EMT. So look for home health care in your area. It's not just for the elderly - they help all sorts of people with medical issues and usually charge by the hour. So a few hours a day will be helpful. Good luck! I'm anxious to read more about your journey. I don't have a date for mine yet.

Forgot to mention that Visiting Angels provided me with transportation to and from surgery so may need to use them again for that. And, I'm telling co-workers it's "female surgery" as that makes people so uncomfortable they don't ask more! I'll tell people when I'm ready to share and not before.t I think it's important to have someone you can call. I am so impressed with the people on here who had such a smooth recovery. Very independent women taking care of themselves. Yay for us! You are inspiring.

@@MT1000 pretty much everyone I know locally is coworkers as well, the only friend friends I have in this state are about an hour away. I totally agree about being discrete about what you share with coworkers, I have a no coworkers on Facebook policy as my personal life isn't their business haha (granted I will add people I liked after I leave a job). The only two that I have told at work are the ones going through it too, since their bravery inspired me. When it comes time, to my bosses I will probably just play it off as a surgery to help my back since they know I have scoliosis, and technically the weight being gone will help my back. One of the women in my office got a gastric bypass several years ago, when I started working there before I even met her I was told about how she had gotten the surgery and lost all this weight and now everyone constantly watches her and talks about it if she looks like she's gained any weight back and quietly criticizes her if she has a small piece of the monthly birthday cake or anything, and are just kind of waiting for her to fail, and I do not want that kind of pressure (work is already enough work HA).

Since I live in a college town, depending on what time of year my surgery is, I'm guessing that I can easily get one of the vet school students to come walk my dog for me and help me out with him. There are usually several living in my complex every term. So as I've read everyone's advice and my wheels have been spinning the past couple of days, I think I may put a sign up in the laundry room first just to see if anyone would be willing to take him for a walk every day for the first few days I am home. I LOVE that there are so many other dog lovers here

I'm also excited to read about everyone's journeys here, it is very wonderful and indeed inspiring!