So, what's your hurry?

[jenpez 113]

This is my first time on this website. I've been reading jenpez's thread? Is each little message considered a thread? Or what do you call each comment? The point is, I had lap band surgery done three and a half years ago. Lost 60 pounds, thrilled me to death, I bought new clothes and actually felt good about it and pretty. Then I quit losing weight. I started to get worried. Then I started a game. I was having a lot of problems with my band throwing up. And I was sick to death of my own cooking. I started to cheat big time. chocolate milk and goes past my band with no problem. One thing led to another and the old cycle begin again. I have gained 20 pounds. I am so depressed and frustrated about it. How did I lose the 60 pounds? I can't seem to get back into gear and start losing again. Like what you said about failure, I understand completely. I waste so much time beating myself up and telling myself what a failure I am. How could I go to all of this travel and expense and mess it up? I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to get started again. I know I'm working against myself not only with what I eat but mentally and emotionally. I'm starting to crawl back into my cocoon, in other words stay at home and isolate myself from people. I desperately need help to get back on track. I am terrified that I will gain the rest of the weight back and even more. I know this is working against me. Help, please. Has anyone out there gone through this and crawled out of this thinking a hole successfully?

The thread is this whole set of comments following the original post - OP. A single comment is a post. Me answering your questions on this thread is called a hijack! However I can't leave you feeling miserable and depressed so here are a few ideas. Did you track to lose the weight? Whether you did or not start tracking. Most people use My Fitness Pal, but a pencil and paper would do. Can you go back to the surgeon and see if you need a refill or whatever they do? I had the Gastric Sleeve so I am not sure about Bands. Did you have a dietician or nutritionist? Can you go back to that person or find a new one? Is there a support group near you? Your Surgeons office will be able to tell you about these. Did you exercise to lose? Whether you did or not start right now, even if you just walk for half an hour each day. Are you able to keep bad food choices out of your home? Can you make your home a little safe island away from these bad food choices? About feeling pretty, I completely understand. I wear a BB cream and lipstick every single day now. There is something about putting lipstick on that makes me feel good! Weird huh? Hope this helps you get back on track and sorry OP, about the hijack.

Love Jen.

[DeniseNCC1701 306]

@@jenpez No worries about hijacking and…

@@obramj Jenpez offered some great suggestions… pretty much what I would have written myself. It's critical that you build a support team around you now to help you back up. I hope you are able to find the strength to push through this rough time. I may be a complete stranger, but I know you can do it. And I know it's in you. Dig deep!

Be well, everyone…

Edited June 8, 2014 by DeniseNCC1701

[MichiganChic 3,262]

But back to the original topic - When I first starting coming here, I didn't know how to use the site. I had a lot of clinical knowledge about surgery and statistics, and had great prep from my medical team, but I didn't have a lot of first hand, real life information. I got lots of great information and didn't need to ask those questions, because someone else always did, just like they are now. People usually answer, and you'll get a variety of responses. So, while you can search, it's a little less interactive that way. Some people probably need the interactive support group environment, as opposed to a research type of interaction.

As for the ability or inability to enjoy or even realize it's a "journey", I think that comes with time for many people. It takes a long time to really figure out how weight loss works for some people, particularly if they have not been successful. I think most people understand it's not magic or automatic, but no one wants to find that they are the only one it "won't work" for. When you are eating almost nothing compared to what you used to eat and have so far to go and have no history to tell you it will be OK, I think it's normal to get a little worried. In the beginning, I was sure every pound I lost would be the last. I still think that, lol!

And one other thing about the "hurry". Once we've made up our minds, we want to see progress. It's human nature to want instant gratification. It's one of the reasons we eat. And quite truthfully, of you are like me, you can put on weight WAY faster than you can lose it. I've found it much easier to be patient at this weight than at 300 pounds. At least I can look and feel pretty good while I'm waiting to finish my "journey". And I say "finish" because that's how I feel. I want to check the box. Goal accomplished. Complete what I set out to do. Then I can start the next "journey". For me, it's easier to handle in smaller doses.

So, when I get tired of the daily question about "it's been 2 weeks and I've only lost 20 pounds, I just smile and move on. There's also an abundance of people on here who are new experts, and I just let them take it

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

there are a lot of people here who have very disordered relationships with their bodies. surgery doesnt magically change that. surgery can sometimes even make it worse. instead of eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle, many people become obsessed with the scale the same way they were obsessed with food. its very complicated. i have one friend who is getting close to having wls. we were talking the other night and she just wants to have the surgery, lose the weight and never think about it again. being healthy doesnt work like that. but sometimes its just way easier to distract ourselves from mindful living by focusing on other things.