It's been two years and i have lost maybe 10lbs total. Why? People ask....I WILL TELL YOU HOW IT HAPPENED FOR ME....

The moral of the story is not to tell you NOT to get the band...but to tell you that this is no FIX and don't expect overnight weight loss....YOU HAVE TO PUT EFFORT into it.

This is important....people like me assumed the BAND would fix everything and the motivation would just fall into place...this is soooo untrue.....

I had always been big...all through school..always size 16+....senior year 2001 i was a good size 22....2003 i was a size 24 and by 2005 i was a size 32......I was always made fun of.....i gained almost 100 pounds in 3 years from being on the depo shot(birth control)so i got off of that...... and then getting pregnant. By 2005 I was at my worst.

I walked into the Dr's office thinking I was only 360 back in April of 2005. When I got on the scale it read 380...I almost died. I cried in his office because I was so ashamed. Ashamed over 20lbs!!!! I had researched the band and felt because I had a daughter it would be the safest surgery for me. I am only 24 and was 22 at the time. I thought this was going to be the FIX.....the thing to change my life. I thought that there was no way anyone or anything could stop me from losing weight after I had surgery.

I went through all the tests....and got all the required medical paperwork and convinced some family members to pitch in for my surgery. I set the date and started my pre-op diet!

From that point on I should have known I was going to be a mess. I was supposed to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks because my liver needed to shrink for surgery. So i ate everything they told me to for the first 3 days and BAM....the feeling set in.....I WANTED AN ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER FROM JACK N THE BOX AND I WANTED IT NOW! I couldn't get it off my mind....i was thinking about it allllllll day.....i went to bed thinking about it...and the next morning i went and got one. I figured...what could ONE double cheese burger with double cheese and mayo possibly do......well...it did nothing to the surgery process but it really broke the frame of mind. Before the 2 weeks was up i had eatin 2 not one but TWO ultimate cheeseburgers and a few chicken nuggets. Why? Why couldn't I just do the PRE SURGERY diet?

June 8th 2005------So surgery day came....and went.....all went well no complications.....i was on soft food in the beginning and I started to eat eggs for Breakfast....but my eggs HAD to have cheese and butter in them....HELLO!!! What was I thinking.....I remember getting my first fill and at this point I had almost lost 40lbs. 20pre-op and 20 post-op. It was amazing.......

About 3 months out(2 months after my 1st fill) I started to become familiar with my band and how much I could and could not eat. I realized that when i would eat too much, i drank a little bit, and it would make the food pass and then i would feel sooooo much better. I never exercised...keep in mind...(maybe got into the pool like 10 times the whole summer) and i was preparing for my wedding which was September 17th 2005. I was so stressed because my weightloss had pretty much STOPPED......I was craving foods like never before and started to eat and drink at the same time...BIG MISTAKE......i was eating at least double what I should have. So I went and had ANOTHER fill. This slowed me down...but still I was not losing ANY weight. I remember eating my first fried chicken after my fill and like trying to manipulate my band into letting me eat more by taking one bite and then drinking....it was the worst thing in the world i could have EVER done.

A year after my band was put in I was only 20lbs total lost (which means i gained 20 back) and I was so angry...I promised myself I was going to try and fix things and make it better....So much had happened that year....2006....we bought a house, my husbands dad died of cancer, my husband was leaving for weeks at a time for work...and i was home ALONE with my daughter. I had no energy to keep the house clean(and i still dont) but i would sit and mope.....and EAT.....I would make excuses to people who asked me WHY i hadn't lost any weight. I told them all that it was a slow process and that i had lost 40 pounds(lied to them).

This year, Jan 2007...I was just sitting at dinner with my husband and looked down and noticed i had a 12oz strip steak, baked potato loaded....and mashed potatos loaded on my plate. I ate all of it. my band was NOT going to stop me. I also ate bread before that.......and drank sweat tea....

in Feb07 I was online playing around and saw an ad for a weightloss show. Primetime...suppose to be JUST like the Biggest Loser....I thought...hmmmm I'll just fill out the app for shits and giggles.....well they responded and wanted me to send them a tape....so i did.

Then in march they had me get my band completely UNFILLED and then flew me out to LA and put me through med tests and interviews,THEY BOUGHT ME 2 PLANE SEATS because i was too big to fit in the plane chairs on my own....pretty sad huh,(cant say much more because they made me sign all kinds of disclosures) They told me it was a show that will be on ABC and told me i would be away from my family for 10 weeks. I thought....this is the chance i have been waiting for.

They made me think i was going....for weeks after the interview I was getting called and asked follow up questions and told i was in the top 4....then on March 31 i was called and told the network did not choose me. I was DEVISTATED.............like someone should have just shot me right there. I was so upset...i cried the whole way home(we were out to eat of course) and my husband looked at me and said...why dont you just do it on your own?

Ummmmm DUH right...? So about a week went by and I had done a real examination of what i have done wrong and how i have basically cheated myself out of my life! On Easter i saw my family and noticed how no one said i looked good anymore...that's because i didnt.....i looked worse...heavy as can be....and that night i sent an email to my family and decide that enough is enough.

Im exercising daily...NO EXCUSES...i posted before/after pictures on my walls in my house of other people who have had the band. I put sayings all over the house saying "whats ur excuse now" and i told my husband that enough is enough. So we decided to start our weightloss exercise on the 9th.....on the 10th I went and had my band RE-filled and since the 10th I have lost 10lbs......unbelievable huh!!!

:clap2: So hopefully all this will inspire SOMEONE before it happens to them. Let my "GAIN" be your "LOSS".

Good luck everyone!

Krystal

WOW Krystal,

I so needed to read this today. You stated all of the concerns that I have played over in my head. I work from home and it so easy to wonder in the kitchen. Hearing all this really puts alot into perspective. Thank you so much.

My hubby just received an offer he can't turn down and we read last night, that WLS is not covered, so I made the call this morning to set up an appointment ASAP. WE are going Self Pay. So, instead of waiting for the 6 month diet, I will be getting it done faster. I am getting nervous and scared. You know, doubting myself. I had to promised my DH that along with this Band, I will get a counselor and see them on a regular bases to help me with the head issues as well. Family stuff, everyone has a story about a bad childhood. Based on my own survey, the majority of my overweight friends all have issues with past family ghost.

I am glad to hear your story, seems that all we read is all the success stories of how much everyone has lost. It is nice to know that their are those that did not succeed at first, but that you can turn it around and make it better. Just stick to your plan and ask for help on here. So far, as I have read over the past few, most everyone is here for us all.

I have said this before on this forum and I will say it you. I read this somewhere and it was stuck. Now that I am self pay, I can start adapting it to the life, (since I dont have to pretend to diet and prove I can't do this) " Nothing taste as good as Thin feels."

Thanks again and Good Luck!!!

I love this site. Everyone here is so real...why can't everyday life be so supportive. Krystal, I am scheduled to be banded on 5/23/07 - North Shore Hospital. Reading your story was helpful. I know that when I can't have something, I crave it more, and I have had more pity parties than I care to admit, but I am learning to cut those shin-dings short. I too will check for you here and I hope that you will check on me.

WasaBubble Butt....you are cool people, that was very kind to open your arms, ears, alright computer (smile) to Krystal....hope you got room, I may be stopping in from time to time too.

WasaBubble Butt is terrific!! I sent her a bunch of questions regarding my upcoming surgery and she sent me answers back w/in minutes and made me feel good about being nervous to boot!!!!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

WasaBubble Butt....you are cool people, that was very kind to open your arms, ears, alright computer (smile) to Krystal....hope you got room, I may be stopping in from time to time too.

You and UniqueOne are very kind. And yes, there is always lots of room!

((HUGS))

Thanks Krystal

U r so right GOd doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle. So I am going to remain prayerful and strong. BY coming here daily I will and have been strengthened.

Ive been distant lately....a lot of things clouding my judgement. I will journal tonight. I am also creating my own webpage....not done with it yet but i will be keeping my journal on there as well. It will be www.krystalballard.com i am struggling right now. Im at my hardest point. I have made mistakes the past 2 days...why do I do that? Why cant i stay on track......ugh ill finish this later...im going to the park with my daughter...maybe she will change my spirits

Hi all I haven't posted in awhile. just wanted to check in and say hello. I am doing well not great. I have a personal trainer that is working my butt off. my abs are so sore. i am on a strict eating schedule. no eating after 7 no white anything bread, rice only multigrain. I am going to see how this eight weeks works. Pray for me. I am excited though. I hope all of u r doing well.

Krystal, How are you? Have not seen you post and want to make sure you are OK? Write and let us know how you are!!

There is a cookbook called eating for life, it has some pretty good recipes in it, and they look simple. You should check it out.

Sorry I've been really busy. This past week has been really bad because I haven't worked out. I went to my Dr. Today and had a fill. Im at 6.8cc now. Haven't lost anything more than what Ive already reported....so its back to the treadmill.

I kept up with my journaling and then slowly stopped. I was doing better when I was journaling because I was actually recording my success.

Ill get back on it...tomorrow i am going to start my exercise again. Im making some concious efforts to eat less cals and make smarter decisions. Hopefully all will go well.

We will see. Ill be checking in tomorrow im sure.

Im making my own journaling section on my webpage www.krystalballard.com and if any of you would like to comment then come check it out.

I've only just found this thread. It is really amazing. Krystal, ya better keep on posting here. Hugs from Green..........

Krystal,

You're doing awesome. I'm so proud of you for not giving up. We know it's hard, that's why we're all here. So keep up the great work, and keep letting us share this journey together with you.

Cindy

End of Day 9 of the 10 day all liquid pre-op diet!! YAY!! Lap band surgery is the day after tomorrow. I'm SO excited. Thanks for listening.

Cindy

I am brand new to this site. I really needed to read your story. I had my band done in MI (Ypsalanti) by a wonderful Dr. Jon Schramm. I lost 40 lbs. and then have just stayed with this same loss for six months. Reading all of these has helped me get my perspective back. I, like you, nibble here and there more than I should. I have changed a lot of my habits but in order to lose you really have to stick with diet, excercise and attitude. You really hit the nail on the head when you said all that you did. I am glad you are back to trying and it has inspired me to go back to the basics and to keep trying. It is a daily struggle but I, too, believe God never gives us MORE than we can handle. Thanks again for sharing.

Krystal,

I've just read 7 pages of posts and wonder--where are you? How are you doing? You've been an inspiration, please post again.

Krystal,

I've just read 7 pages of posts and wonder--where are you? How are you doing? You've been an inspiration, please post again.

:(Im here, I have been kind of in hiding for the past 3 weeks. We have been really busy as a family and my husband went out of town for a week. Well while he was out of town for a week i ended up playing the "single mom" role and fell off of the exercise wagon for a bit.

I realized how quick, if you give up for a day,....how a day turns into a week, and a week turns into weeks. It's kind of interesting how last night I was watching an episode called BIG MEDICINE on TLC. I realized what I originally started this post for.....so I would have strength to keep going. It seems not posting ONE day has started the ever famous trickle effect.

I was crying last night, and called my husband while he was at work and ask him why he was so "lax" about everything. I mean for 3 weeks he was bustin my butt and on my tail about working out and eating good....and it was working. But all of the sudden it was like i was back to the old. :faint:About a week ago I told him on the phone i was craving some chips and dip. So he says "want me to pick some up on the way home" and i didnt turn it down. Why? He made it seem like it was ok....i knew it wasnt. But he wasnt there to tell me it wasnt. He enables me and i dont think he even realizes it. He is my rock and I am not sure how I wouldnt get through any of this without him. His strength in this is a BIG DEAL. I told him he needs to buckle down on me again and that i dont want to be like this forever. I asked him how much does he love me? He says "more than you'll ever know" I told him back.....well...."give me some tough love":help:

I truly am lucky to have a husband. Someone who is there for me. I could be in a worse possition.

It's crazy how I received a message this morning from this post when i was struggling last night with this situation.

Every day i recover from a struggle i become a little bit stronger. I think I needed a RE-evaluation of why im still here and why God has put me here with a beautiful family. He has given me EVERYTHING I could ever want EXCEPT the body I want. That he is making me work for. And it isnt going to be easy.

I think I am seeing and noticing how i allow myself to give up because giving up is easier.

I am throwing a birthday party for my daughter in 30 days. Its a POOL PARTY.......I actually had to ask family members to make sure they rbought a swimsuit so they could be in the pool with chloe. (im not getting in that pool in front of ALL the family) It's pretty sad that something so simple is now so drawn out in my head. Next year I am going to throw her a pool party AND IM going to be the one swimmin with her!:clap2:

NO ONE ever said this was going to be easy, but before surgery I think I THOUGHT it was going to be some kind of easy fix!

Im going to watch my calories again and Im NOT going to have any more JUNK in this house.

I think a lot of my problem is that I dont have full restriction yet. I have another Dr's appt June 5th. Hopefully i can get to a "sweet" spot soon....

Ok im off of here for now....but I WILL BE BACK.....im going to go face my life here......

THANK YOU ALL WHO ACTUALLY CARE. IT MEANS A LOT.