It's been two years and i have lost maybe 10lbs total. Why? People ask....I WILL TELL YOU HOW IT HAPPENED FOR ME....

The moral of the story is not to tell you NOT to get the band...but to tell you that this is no FIX and don't expect overnight weight loss....YOU HAVE TO PUT EFFORT into it.

This is important....people like me assumed the BAND would fix everything and the motivation would just fall into place...this is soooo untrue.....

I had always been big...all through school..always size 16+....senior year 2001 i was a good size 22....2003 i was a size 24 and by 2005 i was a size 32......I was always made fun of.....i gained almost 100 pounds in 3 years from being on the depo shot(birth control)so i got off of that...... and then getting pregnant. By 2005 I was at my worst.

I walked into the Dr's office thinking I was only 360 back in April of 2005. When I got on the scale it read 380...I almost died. I cried in his office because I was so ashamed. Ashamed over 20lbs!!!! I had researched the band and felt because I had a daughter it would be the safest surgery for me. I am only 24 and was 22 at the time. I thought this was going to be the FIX.....the thing to change my life. I thought that there was no way anyone or anything could stop me from losing weight after I had surgery.

I went through all the tests....and got all the required medical paperwork and convinced some family members to pitch in for my surgery. I set the date and started my pre-op diet!

From that point on I should have known I was going to be a mess. I was supposed to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks because my liver needed to shrink for surgery. So i ate everything they told me to for the first 3 days and BAM....the feeling set in.....I WANTED AN ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER FROM JACK N THE BOX AND I WANTED IT NOW! I couldn't get it off my mind....i was thinking about it allllllll day.....i went to bed thinking about it...and the next morning i went and got one. I figured...what could ONE double cheese burger with double cheese and mayo possibly do......well...it did nothing to the surgery process but it really broke the frame of mind. Before the 2 weeks was up i had eatin 2 not one but TWO ultimate cheeseburgers and a few chicken nuggets. Why? Why couldn't I just do the PRE SURGERY diet?

June 8th 2005------So surgery day came....and went.....all went well no complications.....i was on soft food in the beginning and I started to eat eggs for Breakfast....but my eggs HAD to have cheese and butter in them....HELLO!!! What was I thinking.....I remember getting my first fill and at this point I had almost lost 40lbs. 20pre-op and 20 post-op. It was amazing.......

About 3 months out(2 months after my 1st fill) I started to become familiar with my band and how much I could and could not eat. I realized that when i would eat too much, i drank a little bit, and it would make the food pass and then i would feel sooooo much better. I never exercised...keep in mind...(maybe got into the pool like 10 times the whole summer) and i was preparing for my wedding which was September 17th 2005. I was so stressed because my weightloss had pretty much STOPPED......I was craving foods like never before and started to eat and drink at the same time...BIG MISTAKE......i was eating at least double what I should have. So I went and had ANOTHER fill. This slowed me down...but still I was not losing ANY weight. I remember eating my first fried chicken after my fill and like trying to manipulate my band into letting me eat more by taking one bite and then drinking....it was the worst thing in the world i could have EVER done.

A year after my band was put in I was only 20lbs total lost (which means i gained 20 back) and I was so angry...I promised myself I was going to try and fix things and make it better....So much had happened that year....2006....we bought a house, my husbands dad died of cancer, my husband was leaving for weeks at a time for work...and i was home ALONE with my daughter. I had no energy to keep the house clean(and i still dont) but i would sit and mope.....and EAT.....I would make excuses to people who asked me WHY i hadn't lost any weight. I told them all that it was a slow process and that i had lost 40 pounds(lied to them).

This year, Jan 2007...I was just sitting at dinner with my husband and looked down and noticed i had a 12oz strip steak, baked potato loaded....and mashed potatos loaded on my plate. I ate all of it. my band was NOT going to stop me. I also ate bread before that.......and drank sweat tea....

in Feb07 I was online playing around and saw an ad for a weightloss show. Primetime...suppose to be JUST like the Biggest Loser....I thought...hmmmm I'll just fill out the app for shits and giggles.....well they responded and wanted me to send them a tape....so i did.

Then in march they had me get my band completely UNFILLED and then flew me out to LA and put me through med tests and interviews,THEY BOUGHT ME 2 PLANE SEATS because i was too big to fit in the plane chairs on my own....pretty sad huh,(cant say much more because they made me sign all kinds of disclosures) They told me it was a show that will be on ABC and told me i would be away from my family for 10 weeks. I thought....this is the chance i have been waiting for.

They made me think i was going....for weeks after the interview I was getting called and asked follow up questions and told i was in the top 4....then on March 31 i was called and told the network did not choose me. I was DEVISTATED.............like someone should have just shot me right there. I was so upset...i cried the whole way home(we were out to eat of course) and my husband looked at me and said...why dont you just do it on your own?

Ummmmm DUH right...? So about a week went by and I had done a real examination of what i have done wrong and how i have basically cheated myself out of my life! On Easter i saw my family and noticed how no one said i looked good anymore...that's because i didnt.....i looked worse...heavy as can be....and that night i sent an email to my family and decide that enough is enough.

Im exercising daily...NO EXCUSES...i posted before/after pictures on my walls in my house of other people who have had the band. I put sayings all over the house saying "whats ur excuse now" and i told my husband that enough is enough. So we decided to start our weightloss exercise on the 9th.....on the 10th I went and had my band RE-filled and since the 10th I have lost 10lbs......unbelievable huh!!!

:clap2: So hopefully all this will inspire SOMEONE before it happens to them. Let my "GAIN" be your "LOSS".

Good luck everyone!

Krystal

Krystal, thank you for your honest and candid post. I felt like I was living your life with you. You are not alone. I am really glad that you went in for a sanity check and got another fill. One of the reasons you were able to eat around the band is you probably didn't have good enough restriction early on. Cut out drinking with meals and with a little better restriction you should be on your way. You can do this. Julie

Krystal,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am getting banded soon. Please continue to let us know how you are doing.

Amy

I think you have your head screwed on, and you CAN do this. The very best think about the band is that you dont have a window of opportunity, you can choose to begin working with it whenever you are ready.

My heart goes out to you, I never know what to say to those who really struggle with making the changes despite having a band because the bald truth is that you MUST do it or it wont work. Its as simple as that.

But you know, I think what many people have to work on is not the craving for the cheeseburger. What they have to work on is their actions after they have eaten the cheeseburger. You really somehow need to come to view it as just a cheeseburger, nothing more. If you eat one, so what? Nobody ever gained 20lb from eating one cheeseburger. But deep in so many people's psyche's seems to be some sort of reasoning that means that eating one cheeseburger means eating everythign in sight for the next six months.

We are only human. We are going to crave things that are not good for us and during our banded journeys we are going to eat them. I'm FAR from a perfect eater, I do eat the odd cheeseburger, I still love muffins and donuts, I do eat them occasionally. I drink far too much coffee and I like a glass of wine at night too. I also love many healthy foods. It all fits in there, everything in moderation. Stop expecting perfection from yourself, and try to learn how to just climb back up on the horse and get going again and you will get there, honestly.

Ok im heading to my den......im shooting for 30 minutes of walking! Hopefully there are some good episodes of Married w/Children in my DVD player!!! I was trying to think of something else I could do today that would be free and I could take my daughter. I dont want to sit around the house ALLLL day but sometimes thats the cheapest thing to do. It's about 50 degrees outside right now so it's a little chilly to be outside with my 3 yr old.

Wish me luck.,............IM OFF TO SEE THE TREADMILL......THE WONDERFUL TREADMILL --IN MY DEN!!!

DEAR GOD LET ME PUSH FOR 30 MINUTES! I KNOW I BEEN ASKIN ALOT LATELY.....I NEED THE WILL POWER TO DO 30 MINUTES....THATS ABOUT 1 MILE FOR ME.......PLEASE GOD......MAKE MY LEGS INVISIBLE AND MAKE MY BODY LIGHT AS AIR AS IF IM FLOATING OVER THAT STUPID TREADMILL....

AMEN

AMEN. Praying right along with you, Krystal.

Krystal,

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. Look at you, taking control with your eating and your excercise! You are such an inspiration. I haven't been banded yet, but will be in a couple of weeks. Keep up the great work and keep posting! I am praying right along with you.

Cindy

You have tons of people rooting for you & I know you can do it!!!

Tracy

<p><p>I think it is amazing how so many people have sent me private messages to tell me they are going through the same thing. </p> <p> </p> <p>Why are we scared to be judged? I know I was. It's hard to except failure once again.....but lets except it and MOVE ON......</p> <p> </p> <p>BOND WITH ME!!!! If you want me to call and check on you I will!!! Leave me your name and number....Ill make calls daily if you want me to!!!!</p> <p> </p> <p>LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER NOT ALONE!!!</p></p>

So I didnt eat ALL that great yesterday.......i didnt do too bad...but i still didnt do that great.

Today I started off good but I had alot going on. I ended up doing alot around the house and also some homework for school. When I went down in the den to walk I was not wanting to walk at all.....I got on, set the timer for 30 min and started walking......then my legs were burning and i was ready to stop after 5 minutes!!! WHAT HAPPENED?

I had no umpff to walk....i pushed myself to get to 15min .52 miles. so only a half mile today....better than nothing i suppose.

I dont know what happened or why im so tired. I think it is because I didnt do it this morning. By mid day i was already tired.....so maybe ill try and do 15 more minutes tonight when i get home.

ugh

I hope it isnt a struggle everyday like this...i was doing so good last week.

Dear God Please give me the strength to move on and push forward. Give me the will to do good for my body and cherish what i have done so far......and PLEASE God keep me away from that stupid candy my daughter got for Easter! A-MEN

This post should be required reading for all band patients. You should have your oen blog. Do you?

Krystal,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Your so very honest and I know it will help someone. The beauty of the band is it is there for you when your ready. Your not alone in the battle and thinking, many people go into the surgery to "fix" their problem and it just doesn't happen that way. My cousin had Gastric Bypass in November, I had my lap band in January, I've almost lost what she has lost. The difference is I'm working with the band, she is still waiting on her bypass to lose the weight for her. I've tried to explain it to her that she has to do some of the work, maybe I will direct her over here to your story.

Keep us posted in your progress, we are all cheering for you!

Krystal,

I can SOOOO feel your pain. Thanks for the brutally honest post and the reminder that exercise really makes the difference.

If you can do it, so can I. No excuses.

Walk through the burn....

Hugs!!

This post should be required reading for all band patients. You should have your oen blog. Do you?

I DO HAVE MY JOURNAL......SO I WILL BE BLOGGING THROUGH THAT. FEEL FREE TO KEEP UP WITH IT DAILY!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR APPRECIATION OF MY STORY.

Hi Krystal,

You've motivated me to come out of lurkdom!

I just wanted to say that you are inspiring and that you have another aussie follower watching you win your way back to a healthy lifestyle.

Keep up the great work, and just keep on trying.

I believe that you WILL get there!

xxx Rava

Ok sister.. you have inspired me to get off my arse! I let weather rule as an excuse not to walk last week.

Yesterday I walked for 30 minutes 1.6 miles. Today I went to the park and walked a premeasured two frickin' miles!!!! WHOOT!

T

So today my sister came in from Kansas City so she could teach me some things about cooking. We took my daughter to the park with our puppy and tried to do some walking. I didnt get very far because the puppy pooped out before I did.

I realized quickly that all the mothers up at the park gave me really bad looks. I was trying to walk fast and I ended up getting all red faced and sweaty...HOW EMBARRASSING.....I would walk in circles around the playground keeping my eye on my daughter......and i literally saw a mom whisper to one of her friends and her friend looked up right at me.....WTF!!!! Im walking aren't I!!?!?!?!

So after the Park we came back to the house and dug ourselves into a massive collection of cookbooks my sister brought along.

O-M-G IM SUCH A PICKY EATER!!!!! So my sister and I came up with some dinner ideas and good snacks that I could eat to keep on PLAN!

She wrote me a list of items to get from the grocery store and sent me by myself to the store. I went in....looking stupid as can be (b/c this time i was not going straight to the freezer section) and started looking for the random items.....chicken (boneless & skinless) who knew? Also....some TUNA and make sure its IN WATER......i grabbed some in oil on accident.....didnt think there was much difference...OOPS....

Items on my list included:

Bread (i did white...i cant stand wheat)

Cereal (high fiber) I ended up with Total and Special K

Bananas

Yogart

Apples

FAT FREE Sour Cream (yuck.....but we all have to make sacrifices)

Skim Milk (for my cereal & protein shake)

Salad (not for me!!! I HATE SALAD.....it was for my hubby)

Boneless/Skinless Chicken (I got breasts and thighs)

Green Beans

Beef Broth

Pork Shoulder Roast (pulled pork)

Veg oil

Lemon Pepper

Eggs

OK GET THIS.......they have a I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER.......drumroll please......FAT FREE

Turkey (lunch meat)

Potatoes....(scalloped)

Shake N Bake (these are amazingly ok to eat...not bad on cals or carbs)

So i had a pretty big list. I was pretty frustruated.....picking which kind out and what to get is so hard. They don't teach that in school.

We are having shake n bake chicken breast and thighs....and scalloped potatoes for dinner....NO BREAD ROLLS.....I think I will have milk tonight......i need something other than WATER

So hopefully I get back on my walking on the treadmill tomorrow...

OH OH OH OH.....AND I FORGOT TO SAY.....

When I got up this morning and put on my pair of capris the were LOOSE!!!! These are button up and have been tight for the past year. They are the kind that have to stretch a bit because they are so tight and they actually hurt my waste because they are so tight....

WELL NOT TODAY!!!!!!!

IM ANXIOUS TO SEE THE WEIGHTLOSS ON MAY 8TH.....

OK OVEN IS BEEPING......TATA FOR NOW :hungry: