Hi all,

I'm brand new to the forum (though I've been lurking and reading the past month or so). I'm 38 and 339 pounds. I've been heavy my whole life, since childhood, and 10+ years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I also have poor circulation and edema in my legs that necessitates wearing medical compression stockings all the time. I've successfully lost 75 lbs (on a low carb diet of my own design) in 2002 and 60 pounds (on Weight Watchers in 2012) in the past, but eventually gained back all of the weight plus the first time and most of the weight the second time around. I'm finding it harder to keep my fasting blood sugar numbers under control and I know it will only continue to get even more difficult as I age.

My PCP recommended I look into WLS two months ago. I've been researching since then and attended the seminar on April 9. I've learned a lot, and rationally, I know the surgery is my best chance at a healthier future. I have a good friend who was about the same weight (less health issues but knew they were coming) and had bypass surgery 3 years ago and has been the picture of success -- lost half her body weight and has kept it off, has had zero complications, has no food restrictions, looks and feels great. She's been a big inspiration.

But...the dreaded butt...I fear that I will be that person who has horrible, life-threatening complications. I also fear that I won't be able to conquer the emotional attachments I have to food and will feel deprived and restricted eventually after the honeymoon stage wears off. (I'm also looking into ways to recognize and break down those emotional ties and triggers now.) It even makes me a little sad to think that I won't if I wanted to be able to eat a huge meal on a holiday or a special occasion. The idea that the rest of my life will not be the same is both exhilarating AND frightening.

Before I saw my friend's success with my own eyes, I don't think I would've even considered surgery. It still scares me sometimes to think about the long-term possibilities of basically chopping off more than half my stomach. I've read that people who have an easy time for it for the first five or even ten years, sometimes have terrible problems after that.

I know a lot of people say the risks are worth the misery of being fat. I don't know that I've ever considered myself to be miserable though. I've certainly had many terrible moments because of my size over the years, but overall, I've always been a fairly confident person, I'm happily married. I feel I've lived a pretty happy, successful life thus far. I dieted off and on over the years but mostly off to be honest, and only with any real conviction on two occasions (mentioned above)--both of which were prompted by bad medical news that scared me. Part of me feels like maybe I should have struggled more/tried harder before attempting surgery, despite intellectually knowing that dieting is a losing game for most obese and esp. super obese folks. I wonder if I need to want this more to be really successful at it.

I'd say I'm about 85%, maybe 90% on the best days, convinced that I need to do this. How do I get to 100%? Do I even need to get there? Or do you just have to recognize that this is the best option you can take to ensure better health and push the remaining fear aside and take that leap of faith?

I'd love to hear your stories of how you finally made the decision to do this. Thanks.

You might look into lap band ( no stomach taken out, less invasive , etc), and you might want to see a psych dr who deals in food issues/ weight loss etc. He/she might help you get to 100 % . Although it was a quick and easy decision for me after I did my research, you have to ask your self a question. Is the 5% negitive worth the 95% positive ? Negitive, = small bites, chew well, mostly healthy food, exercise, drink lots of water. Positive = weight comes off, happy healthy future, most health problems go away or decrease alot. Ummmmmmmmmmm....................it was a no brainer for me. I wish you well.

what convinced me was me allowing myself to get so big that it was hard to wipe my butt..it was seek help or be cut out of my house one day...and also when i found out i was going to be a grandmother......to be healthy is worth everything...no matter what WLS you get, go for it and get well......my life NOW is better.....so will yours

Amen, sister! This was on my personal list. I'm glad someone else said this!

what convinced me was me allowing myself to get so big

that it was hard to wipe my butt..it was seek help or be cut out of my house one day...and also when i found out i was going to be a grandmother......to be healthy is worth everything...no matter what WLS you get, go for it and get well......my life NOW is better.....so will yours

What convinced me was when I realized that, if I didn't have the surgery, I was also making a decision and that decision came with higher risks than the surgery.

I thought I was a happy fat woman. I was kidding myself. I was miserable and quickly losing my mobility. I won't give you a blow by blow of my journey but suffice it to say, I am walking again, off the cane, and I look completely normal now instead of morbidly obese.

I no longer fear clothes shopping, airplane seats, restaurant booths, or any tight spaces. No one stares at me and I'm no longer ashamed of my size. I swim, I bike, I climb stairs, I move.

I didn't want to have WLS and fought it until I had no choice. I'm 16 months post banded and can say that it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Good luck with whatever choice you make...whether it's WLS or not.

my journey was very long, it took me over a year to decide.

what convinced me:

-i am no longer able to do most things i want to do.

-i take 5 meds, multiple times a day JUST due to my weight alone

-i am 38 yrs old and teetering on diabetes. i don't want the major complications of that disease for myself

- i can't breathe

-i can't play with my kids or walk through a themepark/park/school field trip

- i have GERD, fatty liver, PCOS, hypertension, high cholesterol. insulin resistance, sleep apnea, etc.

- I look at my kids and realize if i stay the way i am, i won't be here to see them marry someday or have their own kids...

There are so many more things, but these stick out as the obvious.

Studies have proven time and time again that for folks with a BMI of 45 and over, diet and exercise will pretty much NEVER work at getting them to a healthy weight. this is a very very hard decision.

Not being sure is very normal. do your research, watch Fat Doctor on youtube, read studies, talk with doctors, etc. That will help you to decide one way or the other.

good luck!

Having lapband surgery was the best decision I have ever made. My A1C was 8 and my blood pressure and cholesterol were high enough to need medication. My mobility was hampered . I was unable to clean my house, walk in the store or participate in anything but couch sitting. I have had zero complications, lots of energy and can pretty much eat what I want. You are not on a "diet". I attend monthly support meetings with weight loss patients from our surgical group. No matter which surgery you decide on, it's a step to save your life. At your age it's important to get the diabetes under control. I think the diabetes and health issues connected with it is what made me wake up. Good Luck and come back and let us know how you are doing.

Thank you so much to everyone for your open, honest, and thoughtful responses. I'm taking to heart all that you've shared, checking into the resources you've mentioned, and doing more thinking and self-examination. I know this is the next step for me in all likelihood, and I'm growing more comfortable with the decision each day, the more I learn and hear from others. I sincerely appreciate your candor and concern.

Edited May 7, 201412 yr by Tootles1975

I had bariatric surgery because of health issues, not because I was upset by my weight. But my excessive weight caused my health issues. Therefore to solve the health issues I had to attack the weight problem. Most diets are unsuccessful. They work for a while but then the weight comes back on. Bariatric surgery has been successful in this area long-term.

I love to eat and eat, that is my problem. One of the interesting things about the surgery for me, was that after the surgery, I lost my hunger. It was not difficult to lose weight when you are not hungry all the time. People compliment me on my weight loss. But for me this is off-key. Somehow I think they are equating the process with a diet program. I lost the weight due to the surgery not due to my willpower to avoid food.

I wrote a short article about my experience with bariatric surgery. It is available at http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf

Maybe shooting for 100% isn't realistic?

for me, I spent over a year in turmoil on this decision. At the end of the day, I decided I had a 100% chance of early death with a side trip through disability on the path I was on weighing over 300# and not getting any younger. I too lost weight, would regain it, and then reached the point I couldn't even lose weight anymore!

As a revision from lapband to sleeve, I estimated my risk of serious complications for the sleeve was 5% or thereabouts.

Could I ever be 100% sure it was the right decision? no. but it felt like better odds than the path I was on.

Devil's advocate here. I think WLS is like marriage. If you have doubts, wait.

It was 100% the right decision for me. Is it for everyone? No, it isn't, and a scary number of people fail. It is a heck of a lot of work and you must change your life or the weight will come back. There is also the risk of complications and you must be prepared for the worst.

If you are not 100% ready for WLS, think about waiting until you are, instead of asking strangers to talk you into something that will so deeply affect your life.

Just my $0.02. I wish you the best.

I haven't done it yet mine is next week but my reasons are because I love family and life more than I love food... I want to live longer in order to be here for those moments and also create new memories of my own. My plan is to have children and especially start back living.

Wasn't it one of your great countrymen that stated..'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.' (F D. Roosevelt)

I'm going to add - 'Every day is a school day'.

When we learn, we grow. Living with a 'status quo' is not living. It is not growing, either. (Except, width ways)

If you calculate the percentage risks of surgical complications (under 2% on average), with the complications of all the health issues we were all presenting with?

Then calculate the likelihood of ending up having to have some god-awful treatment down the road, which will then potentially snowball into other treatments, to overcome the side effects of the first treatment. Then secondary issues because of all those, which then become primary issues, because your body can no longer withstand the abuse its been subjected to?

I thought about this. It boiled down to this one, hard, inescapable fact:

'When I'm 70 (I was shooting high here, given my health issues), laying on my deathbed, with tubes coming out of every orifice, will I be thinking 'I am so glad I didn't change the state I was in. I had a good life, if limited and full of crushing feelings of inadequacy, but it was 'okay'.'

Or will I be thinking (at 85 years old) 'Hell-to-the-f**** yeah, I spun that barrel and gave it all I had'.

Its a personal choice, I totally get it.

However and for me, this was a no-brainer. I was shooting for the stars.

I still am.

I haven't had surgery yet and I am still in the contemplation phase as well.

My biggest fear is that, I will have the surgery and the weight won't come off. I know this is probably crazy sounding to most. I have PCOS and was diagnosed at a young age. I have been obese for half of my life because of this condition. The smallest I have been in the past 10 years was 220lbs and I was basically starving myself to get to this weight. I have been a consistent dieter, I eat very small meals now and hardly ever have junk foods. I am just scared that I will have this surgery and not lose anything!

My consultation appointment is on May 19, so I am planning on discussing this with the surgeon, dietician, and psychologist. I was so "ready" for this a month ago, now all of these doubts are hitting me. I want to have a peace with this decision and not have any second guesses.....

I agree with one of the posts above -- maybe 100% is unrealistic. I think doubts will always creep in and it's normal. There are probably very few big decisions in life where you hit the 100% confidence mark.

I think the best thing is to weigh out the pros and cons, decide what chances you can live with and then go for it.

I'm a "lightweight" and I don't have a lot of complications yet but I can see the trajectory I'm on (slow and steady gain) and I don't want to end up 5-6 years down the road with more complications. Then the surgery will be riskier and maybe not even an option. I want to take control of it now.

Best wishes! Only you can decide what's best for you.

Edited May 8, 201412 yr by Ginger Snaps