Hi all,

I'm brand new to the forum (though I've been lurking and reading the past month or so). I'm 38 and 339 pounds. I've been heavy my whole life, since childhood, and 10+ years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I also have poor circulation and edema in my legs that necessitates wearing medical compression stockings all the time. I've successfully lost 75 lbs (on a low carb diet of my own design) in 2002 and 60 pounds (on Weight Watchers in 2012) in the past, but eventually gained back all of the weight plus the first time and most of the weight the second time around. I'm finding it harder to keep my fasting blood sugar numbers under control and I know it will only continue to get even more difficult as I age.

My PCP recommended I look into WLS two months ago. I've been researching since then and attended the seminar on April 9. I've learned a lot, and rationally, I know the surgery is my best chance at a healthier future. I have a good friend who was about the same weight (less health issues but knew they were coming) and had bypass surgery 3 years ago and has been the picture of success -- lost half her body weight and has kept it off, has had zero complications, has no food restrictions, looks and feels great. She's been a big inspiration.

But...the dreaded butt...I fear that I will be that person who has horrible, life-threatening complications. I also fear that I won't be able to conquer the emotional attachments I have to food and will feel deprived and restricted eventually after the honeymoon stage wears off. (I'm also looking into ways to recognize and break down those emotional ties and triggers now.) It even makes me a little sad to think that I won't if I wanted to be able to eat a huge meal on a holiday or a special occasion. The idea that the rest of my life will not be the same is both exhilarating AND frightening.

Before I saw my friend's success with my own eyes, I don't think I would've even considered surgery. It still scares me sometimes to think about the long-term possibilities of basically chopping off more than half my stomach. I've read that people who have an easy time for it for the first five or even ten years, sometimes have terrible problems after that.

I know a lot of people say the risks are worth the misery of being fat. I don't know that I've ever considered myself to be miserable though. I've certainly had many terrible moments because of my size over the years, but overall, I've always been a fairly confident person, I'm happily married. I feel I've lived a pretty happy, successful life thus far. I dieted off and on over the years but mostly off to be honest, and only with any real conviction on two occasions (mentioned above)--both of which were prompted by bad medical news that scared me. Part of me feels like maybe I should have struggled more/tried harder before attempting surgery, despite intellectually knowing that dieting is a losing game for most obese and esp. super obese folks. I wonder if I need to want this more to be really successful at it.

I'd say I'm about 85%, maybe 90% on the best days, convinced that I need to do this. How do I get to 100%? Do I even need to get there? Or do you just have to recognize that this is the best option you can take to ensure better health and push the remaining fear aside and take that leap of faith?

I'd love to hear your stories of how you finally made the decision to do this. Thanks.

My decision that lead to 100% - all of my life I had had wt issues. In third grade I weighed 136 lbs. I knew it was bad because my brothers and the kids at school even relatives at the family reunion teased and taunted me constantly even back then. If I could have had this procedure in childhood I would not have hesitated. But of coarse it was not available.

I made a point to diet. I tried to run like the others , but when I started my chest would

Burn and I heard this noise and then running became impossible to continue. (undiagnosed childhood asthma)

I grew up exercising , dieting , still gaining a few pounds yearly. When I stopped the exercise in college, on my job in my new career, wt slipped back. I dieted again and again; each time my wt returned with an extra 5-10 lbs. I lost 20, 40, 57, then 78 lbs except for 20 lbs at wt watchers, I did all of my wt loss on my own.

By this time the orthopedic injuries had started. Sprained ankle, fractured both feet . During those times I was restricted my my dr from gym activities. My legs would swell along with my feet, Especially when I travel. My wt had gotten out of hand control. Now had to deal with arth problems.

I was at the cardiologist. He told my that all of my numbers are good, and my heart is fine - for- now. He said that the only thing he worried about is - my- weight.........then he told my about the sleeve and asked me to talk to the surgeon about it and to at least consider it.

I agreed, saw the surgeon, etc. went on my cruise with hubby, and when I returned from my trip, surgery was scheduled for 2 wks later. The rest is history. For me having the sleeve was like this: my dr. Knows I love to enjoy life, and that I want the best quality of life possible, and that I care about good health. So he recommended this for me; I just followed the doctor's orders.

My decision that lead to 100% - all of my life I had had wt issues. In third grade I weighed 136 lbs. I knew it was bad because my brothers and the kids at school even relatives at the family reunion teased and taunted me constantly even back then. If I could have had this procedure in childhood I would not have hesitated. But of coarse it was not available.

I made a point to diet. I tried to run like the others , but when I started my chest would

Burn and I heard this noise and then running became impossible to continue. (undiagnosed childhood asthma)

I grew up exercising , dieting , still gaining a few pounds yearly. When I stopped the exercise in college, on my job in my new career, wt slipped back. I dieted again and again; each time my wt returned with an extra 5-10 lbs. I lost 20, 40, 57, then 78 lbs except for 20 lbs at wt watchers, I did all of my wt loss on my own.

By this time the orthopedic injuries had started. Sprained ankle, fractured both feet . During those times I was restricted my my dr from gym activities. My legs would swell along with my feet, Especially when I travel. My wt had gotten out of hand control. Now had to deal with arth problems.

I was at the cardiologist. He told my that all of my numbers are good, and my heart is fine - for- now. He said that the only thing he worried about is - my- weight.........then he told my about the sleeve and asked me to talk to the surgeon about it and to at least consider it.

I agreed, saw the surgeon, etc. went on my cruise with hubby, and when I returned from my trip, surgery was scheduled for 2 wks later. The rest is history. For me having the sleeve was like this: my dr. Knows I love to enjoy life, and that I want the best quality of life possible, and that I care about good health. So he recommended this for me; I just followed the doctor's orders. Start wt 342, present wt. 329- surg on 4/30/14. It only takes a small reason to miss out on something good we can let doubt and fear get the best of us. But Are not given the spirit of fear. I suggest you talk to God about it, get your peace with whatever decision you come up with and go from there. I only wish I could have done mine decades sooner. Let us know your decision. I wish you well. God bless you and be your guide in wherever He leads you.

Just wanted to thank you all again. I've considered all you've said (it was especially encouraging that those of you who did have various problems post-op still considered it the best decision you made) and it eased my mind that 85% is good enough and to leave the rest to faith. My first surgeon appointment is June 26 (with Dr. Dieter Pohl, if any of you are in Rhode Island)!

Edited May 19, 201412 yr by Tootles1975

@Tootles1975 -- I'm so glad you followed up and updated us! I was just wondering what you had decided.

Best of luck as you move through the process and let us know how it goes!

Tootles1975

I am glad you decided to do this for yourself. If not you would continue to think about it and be uncomfortable about not having it done. Pray God's guidance, be lead, and don't look back.

Was just in the "Most positive post" thread where we all are talking about what we're thankful for. It made me think of this first post I made 6 months ago and how encouraging and knowledgable everyone was. I'm now 6 days away from surgery and really thrilled with this choice and very excited for the future.

So thank you, everyone!

Edited November 20, 201411 yr by Tootles1975

All I can say is that I was more afraid of what my life looked like WITHOUT surgery than I was of the complications FROM surgery. I'd been overweight to obese since I was 8 years old. I was reasonably healthy until I hit my 40's. After that it was a downhill slide of blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, asthma meds, anti-anxiety meds and pain from carrying around an extra 100 pounds. I carried it pretty well. No one would have guessed that I was 100 pounds overweight when I went in for surgery 13 months ago.

So complications... They DO happen, but they didn't happen to me. I was only hospitalized overnight, never needed narcotic pain meds and was back to work the next week. It was a struggle the first month, but I got in a groove after that. I do not miss being able to eat a big meal. At. All. I thought I'd mourn food. I don't. I love the freedom to eat what I like how I like it in small quantities and be free from the obsession I had with food!

I've given things up... All my pre-op meds, carbonation, my sedentary lifestyle, and most caffeine. Traded for Protein bars, an exercise bike, Vitamins, confidence, size 4 skinny jeans and a new found social life! GOOD TRADE as far as I'm concerned!