Hi all,

I'm brand new to the forum (though I've been lurking and reading the past month or so). I'm 38 and 339 pounds. I've been heavy my whole life, since childhood, and 10+ years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I also have poor circulation and edema in my legs that necessitates wearing medical compression stockings all the time. I've successfully lost 75 lbs (on a low carb diet of my own design) in 2002 and 60 pounds (on Weight Watchers in 2012) in the past, but eventually gained back all of the weight plus the first time and most of the weight the second time around. I'm finding it harder to keep my fasting blood sugar numbers under control and I know it will only continue to get even more difficult as I age.

My PCP recommended I look into WLS two months ago. I've been researching since then and attended the seminar on April 9. I've learned a lot, and rationally, I know the surgery is my best chance at a healthier future. I have a good friend who was about the same weight (less health issues but knew they were coming) and had bypass surgery 3 years ago and has been the picture of success -- lost half her body weight and has kept it off, has had zero complications, has no food restrictions, looks and feels great. She's been a big inspiration.

But...the dreaded butt...I fear that I will be that person who has horrible, life-threatening complications. I also fear that I won't be able to conquer the emotional attachments I have to food and will feel deprived and restricted eventually after the honeymoon stage wears off. (I'm also looking into ways to recognize and break down those emotional ties and triggers now.) It even makes me a little sad to think that I won't if I wanted to be able to eat a huge meal on a holiday or a special occasion. The idea that the rest of my life will not be the same is both exhilarating AND frightening.

Before I saw my friend's success with my own eyes, I don't think I would've even considered surgery. It still scares me sometimes to think about the long-term possibilities of basically chopping off more than half my stomach. I've read that people who have an easy time for it for the first five or even ten years, sometimes have terrible problems after that.

I know a lot of people say the risks are worth the misery of being fat. I don't know that I've ever considered myself to be miserable though. I've certainly had many terrible moments because of my size over the years, but overall, I've always been a fairly confident person, I'm happily married. I feel I've lived a pretty happy, successful life thus far. I dieted off and on over the years but mostly off to be honest, and only with any real conviction on two occasions (mentioned above)--both of which were prompted by bad medical news that scared me. Part of me feels like maybe I should have struggled more/tried harder before attempting surgery, despite intellectually knowing that dieting is a losing game for most obese and esp. super obese folks. I wonder if I need to want this more to be really successful at it.

I'd say I'm about 85%, maybe 90% on the best days, convinced that I need to do this. How do I get to 100%? Do I even need to get there? Or do you just have to recognize that this is the best option you can take to ensure better health and push the remaining fear aside and take that leap of faith?

I'd love to hear your stories of how you finally made the decision to do this. Thanks.

I did not have a dramatic decision making process. I first looked into the surgery in August, we determined I hit all of the qualifications (just barely, but still) and I went through all of the pre-surgery steps very quickly. Was sleeved in October. From my approval to surgery date was just over a week, which in my case was good. It literally gave me NO time to ponder, freak out, ponder, freak out…or anything.

I had an out-of-body moment on the way to the hospital, one of those…"Oh crap, what if this is how I die?" But then, it passed. I went through the surgery with flying colors and had a better than textbook recovery.

I might be an outlier because I was not yet to the point where surgery was the ONLY way out. But you know, I've been down the diet path in pretty much every way possible. Diabetes and heart disease run in my family. I was essentially a ticking time bomb, even though I hadn't reached critical mass by any means. My mother, who struggled all of her adult life with weight issues, managed to take off close to 100 pounds strictly with diet and appetite suppressants, under the care of a bariatrician. She tells me, she will be doing this for the rest of her life. She was too afraid of surgery.

My other thing is that in the last 5 years, I have had two surgeries that, if not directly related to my weight, were certainly correlated: gall bladder and a mid-urethral sling. The idea that I should continue to fix things as they came up seemed crazy to me. So in many ways, when they said okay, I said let's go. And that was that.

Good luck.

I never decided to get the band. I never got above 60-70% decided...

One day I said to my husband, "if I'm really honest with myself and speak from a place of strength (because I used to do that but somewhere along the line stopped) I'm going to say that I need this surgery." I didn't decide to get the band. But I decided to go to an info session, and I brought him.

At the info session they told me to get a consultation with the surgeon. Again, I didn't decide to get the band, but I went to the consult with my husband.

At the consult the surgeon tole me to do the insurance paperwork . While there, they booked my date. I turned to my husband and said, "well, the train's moving, I guess I'll stay on and see where it goes."

Here I am, 2 years later, down around 100lbs wearing a frigging size 10. So thrilled!!!!

I thought I would add my 2 cents. I am having surgery next month and I felt the same way. I had people tell me I was taking the easy way put,that I would become malnourished. I am 28 years old and not living life. I don't go put ,I'm on all kinds of meds and I'm unhealthy. I want to live. I want to be there for my future grandchildren. This surgery is saving my life in so many way. Good luck on whatever decision you make

I'm so glad people have continued to chime in here. I've always been someone who's somewhat resistant to change and needs to think through the pros and cons of any big decisions quite a lot before taking an action. I can be a ditherer and want to keep paddling down the river of denial often. Sometimes it just helps to hear that others were unsure too. I'm encouraged that my worries are normal and that many of you had the same fears, yet forged ahead despite them and have no regrets and consider this the best decision of your lives.

I have a combination business/pleasure trip to New Orleans coming up in a few days, and when I return, I plan to call for my consult with the surgeon's office. Thank you all for your help.

Edited May 8, 201412 yr by Tootles1975

Enjoy your trip...just think...after the surgery, you will be able to enjoy trips more... it's so nice having room in the seat...not having to get an extention for the seat belts... being able to bend down to tie your shoes back up... etc etc etc... life is good!

We are here for you

You make such amazing points. It takes awhile, but the benefits of being trimmer are just so great, "food" starts to really take a back seat to the OTHER joys in life. Well, before joy, there is the absence of miserable things like the seat belt extensions, being able to fit in the seats etc... then, it just gets better and better!

Enjoy your trip...just think...after the surgery, you will be able to enjoy trips more... it's so nice having room in the seat...not having to get an extention for the seat belts... being able to bend down to tie your shoes back up... etc etc etc... life is good!

We are here for you

I had surgery 3 weeks ago - so I very clearly remember my pre-op fear. I never got to 100%. A doctor of mine matter of factory told me I needed to do something drastic, he said you don't have any health problems now but there is 0% chance that will continue as you get older. So what is your plan? And her referred me to my surgeon. I left his office pissed and embarrassed. But he got the idea percolating. I started asking different doctors I knew what their thoughts were and they all said "do it yesterday"

My advice is do your research. Find the best surgeon you can. And then go for it. It's not easy, is no quick fix. It's harder and easier then I thought. Trying to take my daily Vitamins, drink my Water, get my Protein, swallow vile tasting medicine and pooping consume my thoughts!!

But I have had enough of not wearing the cutest clothes, being the funny fat girl (seriously I'm hysterical ) and being too fat and too tired to do all the stuff I wanna do. Not to mention positioning everyone in photos to hide my fat!! I've been fat most of my life with small windows of being fit. I have felt beautiful always so that's not the issue. I feel powerful, strong, healthy and hot when I am fit.

I was convinced about WLS 100% when my endocrinologist told me about it. I went for a seminar at NYU hospital and knew that this is what I want to do no matter what. I had every health issue people have being over weight. I started my process 3 yrs back and at 35, when I got a good insurance to cover it all, I went ahead and had my RNY 6 weeks ago. As a nurse myself and being able to work without issues, I had to make this happen for myself, for my future, for my health, for my career. I am much much happier and looking forward to more changes for the positive ahead. And I actually promote WLS cause it's worth it. Good luck!

I was convinced about WLS 100% when my endocrinologist told me about it. I went for a seminar at NYU hospital and knew that this is what I want to do no matter what. I had every health issue people have being over weight. I started my process 3 yrs back and at 35, when I got a good insurance to cover it all, I went ahead and had my RNY 6 weeks ago. As a nurse myself and being able to work without issues, I had to make this happen for myself, for my future, for my health, for my career. I am much much happier and looking forward to more changes for the positive ahead. And I actually promote WLS cause it's worth it. Good luck!

Also my family was not convinced (my parents and brothers) which took me a bit of time to convince. I even took my brother to meet my surgeon and he understood how important this is for me and my health. The day of my surgery my mom and brother were there for me and scared for me but I was not scared at all. There is minimal chances of complications vs not having the surgery at all which will cause kidney failure, heart issues, diabetes, neuropathy, losing eye sight, gangrene, liver issues, not being fertile etc etc...the list can go on and on for health issues when you are over weight. So I personally think it's worth it. No doubt in mind and I know you will make the right decision for yourself.

85% convinced. How do I get to 100%?

You don't.. They're only taking 85% of your stomach, so you're good to go.

Edited May 8, 201412 yr by Recycled

85% convinced. How do I get to 100%?

You don't.. They're only taking 85% of your stomach, so you're good to go.

It's hard to choose, but this might be my favorite response.

I never decided to get the band. I never got above 60-70% decided...

One day I said to my husband, "if I'm really honest with myself and speak from a place of strength (because I used to do that but somewhere along the line stopped) I'm going to say that I need this surgery." I didn't decide to get the band. But I decided to go to an info session, and I brought him.

At the info session they told me to get a consultation with the surgeon. Again, I didn't decide to get the band, but I went to the consult with my husband.

At the consult the surgeon tole me to do the insurance paperwork . While there, they booked my date. I turned to my husband and said, "well, the train's moving, I guess I'll stay on and see where it goes."

Here I am, 2 years later, down around 100lbs wearing a frigging size 10. So thrilled!!!!

Spectacular! I hope you come to our meet and greet in June. I'd love to put a name and face together.

I don't think I was 100% ready when I did it, but 90% ready was enough for me.

I have often suggested to post-op folks the importance of measuring any goals they are considering against two things – every goal must be realistic and sustainable. Any goal being considered that does not meet those two criteria should be eliminated in favor of a realistic, sustainable alternative.

Your exceptionally well-written post inspired me to consider goals in the pre-op, decision making stage of the process. How do I get to my goal of 100%? I don’t have an answer to that question. But, in my case, what is more important is that I don’t believe the goal is realistic. Or sustainable. 100% implies absolute certainty – that’s not realistic. There are risks with any surgery and bariatric surgery is no exception. There are no guarantees. Even knowing that, I went through times when I was “absolutely certain” that the surgery was the right choice. But in the weeks and months leading up to the surgery there were other times when my conviction waned – that’s code for there were times when the whole idea scared the bejesus out of me. What if? Absolute certainty was simply not sustainable.

So my goal became to learn everything I could about the benefits, and the risks, of bariatric surgery. That goal met the criteria. It was realistic. And it was sustainable. I discovered that once I had met my goal, the decision was relatively easy, even in the absence of absolute certainty. The odds of having a successful, life-changing experience were overwhelmingly in my favor.

Bariatric surgery is the most effective option known to medical science for the treatment of obesity and more than 30 comorbidities associated with obesity. Find your realistic and sustainable goal and you’re gonna love the new you!!

Odds and stats. I knew that I would suffer from multiple complications from being obese. The chances of complications with surgery were so small that the decision was obvious, I had to have the sleeve so I could have a decent life. Food is fuel, not my friend, not my lover, not my family. I want to be here with my family. And I don't want them having to take care of me because I can not care for my own fat ass! Today I was on a plane and I had extra room in my seat! I did not eat cake at my sister in laws birthday lunch because I knew I was too full...who does that! Me! I am the person that never left any food on my plate, or yours and then I'd have dessert, and yours...not any more! If you have a broken leg you go get it fixed, I had a broken, sick, dis-eased relationship with food that was destroying my body, so I got it fixed. I was 100% sure what I was doing and had done did not work so I went with what statistically had better odds for success! Down over 50 lbs in 11 weeks!