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The problem with telling a few select people about WLS is that they never keep it to themselves. They will tell one or two people who tell one or two people more and then they tell one or more people. You then have people watching every bite you eat, watching every pound you lose or gain, and many of them secretly hope that you fail. A few years out if you gain a few pounds they secretly feel elated that you had surgery for weight loss and can't keep it off. Who needs that additional pressure? I am not a big social media person as far as sharing my life for all to see so the thought process of sharing personal medical details with people who don't have a need to know is just silly. I do share on this forum because we are all in the same boat and offer the same support without fear of judgment or betrayal. On the outside...it's not that safe.

I am older than a lot of you and I know a lot more than most of you. For sure, working 47 years I am not naive. Even today, when I ask my husband something in regards to diabetes to help someone here, my husband questions my posting. I resist the urge not to share, because this is our lives we are dealing with and I want to help anyone I can, irregardless of the fact that we had surgery and he decided it is no one's business but ours. We do have a right to our privacy, but I am trying to help anyone I can here. People can be terribly cruel, especially co-workers. Not worth telling them my business, in my opinion. Go talk about someone else LOL!

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Exactly - doggone people need to gossip. The reason why people tell me things is I support and don't repeat. That's what people need: support. Whether you are losing it thru surgery or gym/diet, doesn't matter. Its the support that does.

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I am a horrible liar... So if asked I just told the truth... if they want to talk behind my back, then that's up to them... I have no control over what people think or say about me. I didn't do if for them, I did it to be healthy - NOW I didn't post it on Facebook or go around telling everyone, however I did make some comments on a GS fan page on FB, and I have gotten a few personal IM on my comment... so I have stopped doing that...

I work for a company that is "close knit" about 40 people and well you know how fast wild fire spreads right? so does the gossip mill... so if asked, I just told the truth, I don't have anything to be ashamed of... so far everyone has been really awesome & supportive... now out side of work, I only told a few close friends... I was at a surprise party a few weeks ago, and someone I hadn't seen in a while just was gushing all over me and kept telling me how great I looked etc.. she is kind of a big mouth so for most of the night, I just kept a low profile as to details... after a while I couldn't play the cat & mouse game, and told her the truth... Then this very drunk person said "yeah she cheated" seriously first and only negative comment I have gotten - I didn't even respond to the stupid drunk, I just said to my friend "yes some narrow minded people believe this is taking the easy way out... but there is NOTHING easy about this"

I feel like this is a private thing, but you know what everyone knows we are over weight... its not a secret... So my journey to get healthy shouldn't be either... plus I would hate if I got caught in a lie... but that's me :)

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You know I read this and its odd. I'm the fundamentalist, conservative Christian. I support people in whatever happens, and don't gossip. I've got people who have a more liberal view and they do. Gotta make you stop and think. I'd be asking people what I tell them - how is me passing this on going to make things better? Is this going to demonstrate my helping them or making me feel superior because I'm using information on someone to put them down?

I mean I was put on this earth to be a "helpmeet" not a tale teller or busy body. In my church, that would NOT go over well and rate a call from a Deacon. Ok, making Desserts for everyone that don't include Splenda and sending a diabetics' blood sugar over 300 didn't impress everyone ... but hey ...

What we need to be focused on is keeping each other safe and healthy and supporting. That and letting others know who is a good doc to go to and who isn't. If they're not supportive past the surgery, why bother?

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Too much b.s for me dealing with these obnoxious people you all have run into. I have not lied ever. I am on a low-fat diet and eating healthy to save our lives because of diabetes, asthma and high blood pressure. Quit drinking alcohol, quit drinking soda, quit carbs, no Desserts. Life is much better. Sigh. Life is sweet. No drama.

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This a great thread! I'm pre op for the sleeve and on 4/30 getting my lapband removed. I never told anyone in my family except my mom and my sister...not even my dad. I haven't told and never will tell him about my lapband. He is very negative and comments about my weight or say oh I thought you were on a diet when he feels like it to be snide! I've been struggling with telling him about it. But I don't think I can handle telling him, with the possibility of unwelcomed comments. My one girlfriend talks about setting boundaries with people, which is right. However, my dad doesn't respect them and offends and then gets offended that your offended by his comments (crazy, right?). The difference between this surgery and the last is that live with my parents now, last time I had my own. With reading all these comments and such, I'm going to continue working out as I do, change my eating habits, and have my "gall bladder" surgery. I'm a teacher so summer working out and weight loss is normal for me. Thanks because, I didn't know how to handle this. Like so many of us this is a SENSITIVE topic. I don't feel my surgery(ies) is no ones business and not a topic of discussion out side of my inner circle and those I trust. Unfortunately that's not my family with the exception of my mom and sister. Thanks because I'm considering this explanation. I haven't fully decided what I'll do because the way I feel about it (especially my dad) is touch and go. But I almost feel I'll probably end up not being so forth coming, but oh well it's my life....

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I fully expect the two friends at work I tell will let other people know but since those people will hear it indirectly, they probably won't come up and ask me questions. It would be like admitting they gossiped.

However, I imagine after surgery I'll probably freely tell people. It'll be too late then to change my mind about the surgery and I just am a pretty open and honest person. Like someone said before, you can't hide that you are/were overweight and that you're losing weight. It's pretty obvious. And if somebody feels I cheated and did it the easy way, then I'll just smile and move on.

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I haven't told anyone, but it kind of makes me surprised how UN-nosy coworkers have been. I have literally not had a single person at work notice or say a word. I guess it's good to be inconspicuous but still...

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I told my boss and my HR representative. My boss was informed that this was confidential information but I suspect she has not kept it to herself. I should have kept that private considering she had RNY and broadcast that for any and everybody who would listen. :mellow:

I share NOTHING personal or private with her now.

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I told my boss and my HR representative. My boss was informed that this was confidential information but I suspect she has not kept it to herself. I should have kept that private considering she had RNY and broadcast that for any and everybody who would listen. :mellow:

I share NOTHING personal or private with her now.

This is my point exactly in people trusting co-workers. Even HR, which males me ILL.

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Ok, I went back to work today. Everyone told me how great I look. Everyone was really happy to see me and were very nice, at least to my face. Nice to my face is fine with me. When asked how I've been losing, I said eating lots of Protein, which is true. (I'm so over worrying about what others think.--Good job, me!)

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I didn't tell anyone at my job nor did I tell any family. My mom, dad, son know & a couple others bc they've had the surgery and were great for asking questions. They all know I'm not telling anyone so I hope they don't share. I went back to work today and felt like people were looking at me trying to figure out what I had surgery on. My friends and family don't even know I have been out of work 2 weeks! They know nothing!

I figured eventually I may share but I didn't want the "you don't need to do that" comments, and feeling as though people are watching my every single move and checking every three minutes to see if I've lost weight.

I made another Instagram account and searched the #vsginstacrew hashtag and found amazing support!!! It's like a whole 'nother world!!! I spend more time on that account than my "regular" one.

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I had a friend who got the lap band a few months before I got the sleeve. She was so forward and honest with everyone about it, and everyone was really supportive of her getting it. I thought of all the lies that I could tell my co-workers about it. I thought of telling each person something different, just to keep them all confused, plus I thought that would be funny. But they are giong to see you eating super small meals, and that you are loosing a ton of weight. I wanted to make sure that I squashed the rumors that I was anorexic. Plus I wanted to share what I was going through. Most of my co-workers are my friends. And it helped explain all the appointments, my week off from surgery, and all the fact i was eating a super tiny amount of food and was saying I was super full....

Honesty is definitely the best way to go!

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