I am hoping someone can relate and talk me through this...I have been excited about my Feb. 14th date until today...I am having an overwhelming feeling that I will fail...I keep thinking that I obviously didn't have discipline before, which is why I am so grossly unattractive now, so how will I be able to succeed once I have this surgery? You have to be disciplined and know it is not the cure all, which realistically I get, but how do I make sure I don't fail with this like I have with every diet my entire life? So sorry for this self pity party...I just feel overwhelmed and have no one to talk to...

Everyone has said such great things on this thread. All so true! The other day I was talking about my lapband to someone who asked me why I just didn't eat smaller amounts...like I do with the lapband...without the surgery? And I told him that it just wasn't realistic for me to do so, because of the HUNGER.

I think this is WLS's strongest line of defense. When you dim the appetite, you greatly reduce the chances of food abuse. (Let's set aside eating for reasons other than appetite in this discussion.) I was a volume eater, not an emotional one, so the lapband has helped me in ways a traditional diet never could longterm.

Everything you are feeling right now as a pre-op most of us have felt. I did a lot of blog writing up to the date of my surgery, and one of the posts I wrote talks about how I refused to give in to my urge to do Weight Watchers "just one more time." I'd done WW a billion times, with always the same (failing) endgame. So to delay my surgery to see if I could go the non-surgical route "just one more time?" So glad I didn't chicken out. I'm already regretting I didn't do WLS earlier...I can only imagine if I had delayed this a year more or so...yikes. I'd surely be fatter than ever right now, instead of down 53 pounds since last March. (I'm a slow loser compared with many on here but I'm fine with that.)

Shel - so many of your posts mirror my same feelings and experience. This post included.....to the T

I think many of us had the same fear; will this work, or be yet another failed attempt to lose weight? Only with surgery, the stakes are much higher because it is a drastic step to take. But at 10 months out, and 63 pounds lost, it is the best decision I have ever made. That, and marrying my wonderful husband

My best advice, from my own experience is.....continually work on your head while you move through the pre and post op diets, and during the time it takes to get the proper band adjustment. I would venture to say that all of us here have failed hundreds of diet attempts. If we were good at it, we wouldn't have resorted to WLS. I felt the same as you.....what if I fail? And months out, I have done some mindless eating, and paused my weight loss for a few weeks. But the band (I have plication too), jumps in and helps me stop before I go off on a binge like I used to be able to do. The band isn't our obstacle; it's our brain. Even with the band, you still have to fight the fight. But it's a heck of a lot easier!! I'm so thankful for this tool......wish I'd done it sooner. But we do things when we're truly ready, and 10 months later, I'm only 12 pounds from my goal. Even with some slips here & there. With the band, it's so much easier to get back on track. THAT was the missing piece for me before surgery.

Take a deep breath - you will be fine. I can't wait to hear more about your progress. Please keep posting

Edited January 29, 201412 yr by mrsto

What you're feeling is totally normal. You've gotten some great responses here!

The night before my surgery, I didn't sleep a wink wondering what the hell I was doing!! When I got to the hospital, I even told my husband I changed my mind. I just didn't have any faith in myself that I could actually make this work! I've failed how many times before, why would this be any different?? Well, here I am just a few days from being one year out, and I'm down a total of 136lbs! I reached my '2 year' goal in just 9 months. It sounds unreal to even say that! The band has really, truly changed my life. Unlike other 'diet's, the band is with us forever, constantly reminding us of our destination. We can't just take it off, or cancel our membership...it's here to stay!

I guess if there's one piece of advice to give you, it's to just believe in yourself. Tell yourself you can, and you will do this!! You know it's not going to be easy, it's going to take effort, and you can't expect to come out of surgery and magically be thin (darn, that would be nice, though! haha)! Just take the journey one day at a time. Be proud of every ounce you lose, and Celebrate every non scale victory, no mater how small it may seem!

In the words of Jillian Michaels... "Fear will go away, but regret is forever". You can do this!!

You sound like I did and if you weren't experiencing these feelings, it wouldn't be normal. This journey is as much a mental effort as it is physical. There are stages in this process that you have to process in your own way, on your own time and you are now in the "second thought" stage, which coincides with the "fear of complications" stage. I must tell you that the fear of complications stage will not go away until after you're on the other side. There will always be something to make you wonder if you're doing the right thing, I know it was a constant nagging thought for me. Now that I'm banded and am successful with it, I only regret that I didn't do it sooner and that I allowed fear to consume me as much as it had. You will be successful. Know how I know? You are asking questions now and getting advice from people who have been where you are. Keep a positive outlook, your life will change for the better in so many ways once you start shedding those unhealthy pounds.

All of the above posts have pretty much said it all.

Nerves are normal...this is a huge decision that is going to be life long.

I was banded (w/plication) on 9/19 and I am feeling wonderful both physically and mentally. Food no longer controls me (although it still gets the best of me on occasion...i am only human after all) One thing I remind myself of daily is that this is not a quick fix to being overweight for my entire life. This is a day to day process with some ups and downs along the way.

I'm enjoying my life and Im enjoying my life not always focused on whats going into my mouth next. I have found success by NOT depriving myself of anything as long as it does not upset my band...and so far the only thing I can say is uncomfortable are Triscuit crackers. This is a lifestyle and NOT a diet anymore. I choose to make better food choices and sometimes I will treat myself with a bite of something "special"...and Im okay with that...In the past it would have been the whole darn thing.

Well, my one big piece of advice is too hang in there...after the surgery I had several days of "buyers remorse" and cried and cried about "what did i do to myself". With a super supportive hubby I got past those days...part of it was fear and part was feeling crappy after surgery. But every day that passed I felt better and better...and as the weeks passed I learned what i was supposed to do...there is a big learning curve here so be sure to cut yourself some slack...you will NOT be perfect...I dont believe anyone is...I surely am not.

But it has been the best decision I have ever made and I just purchased my first pair of size 16 skinny jeans (actually 4 of them...lol)....probably havent had a pair of jeans since college....and am happy to be throwing out my stretch pants.

This forum is amazing and you will find some truly SPECTACULAR AND GENUINE AND KIND people here....find those that support you and follow them.

We are ALL in this together....and noone truly knows how all this feels unless you have gone through it yourself.

Wishing you all the success in the world...keep us posted on all that is happening....good luck!

I a just adding to this , remember o always ask your Doc./Surgeon if you have any questions and ask if it is possible to get a hold of the at any time to ask any questions that you are not sure about , and one more thing don't compare your self to any one else if you et the band , because we are all different , but if you would like to look at some of the before , during and after pics of people that have made suggestions or trying to help and being supportive , then click and take a look , you will see it does work if you also put in the work , like someone said it is not a quick fix but our tool(band) just reminds us and helps us in our journeys, good luck on your decision.

I think the doubt is a normal part of this process. What you are about to do is a BIG step & I think evaluating & re-evaluting is a prudent thing to do.

I have to admit, I did have a little bit of a breakdown a few days after surgery as well, questioning what I had done to myself.

I am 2 years out now, down nearly 100 lbs & I can tell you it was the BEST decision I ever made.

Just be realistic - the band is a tool and not a magic wand. As soon as you internalize this & accept that the band alone will not be enough, you have to do your part.. the better off you'll be. Follow the guidelines & the lbs will come off!

I am sure that we all felt that way. You have to realize that yes you can fail but that should make you determined not to. It's not easy by far and you have to work at it. Just think about all the harm your body is going through not doing it. Think about how nice it will be to wear regular clothes and walk with your head held high. Think about how you won't fail instead of failing. You are getting the house now you will be responsible for the interior decorating. You will realize all the good healthy food you missed while filling your body with poison. I think if all of us can do it then so can you. Get out of the pity party and get excited about your new life you will have about a year from now.

My surgery date us March 19 and I'm feeling the same way, the feeling of what if I fail. Reading ur comments reassure me I am in the right path and making the right decision. Thank u all so much.

I am hoping someone can relate and talk me through this...I have been excited about my Feb. 14th date until today...I am having an overwhelming feeling that I will fail...I keep thinking that I obviously didn't have discipline before, which is why I am so grossly unattractive now, so how will I be able to succeed once I have this surgery? You have to be disciplined and know it is not the cure all, which realistically I get, but how do I make sure I don't fail with this like I have with every diet my entire life? So sorry for this self pity party...I just feel overwhelmed and have no one to talk to...

as long as you try and do the best you can (and def follow your dr's instructions for best results) you will do just fine...be realistic...be open minded and understand its a day in and day out process...its not overnight quick/easy fix....you are very attractive right this moment and i know that the person is a scared female whose past dieting attempts has made her doubt herself......i know as that was me also 19 months ago....

you will eat good/healthy foods

exercise and you will lose weight.....let the band (or any WLS) help you...

you just help yourself.....you can do this....

krps0930,

I just want to echo something that carolinagirl said. Looking at your profile picture you are an attractive woman and have a lot to look forward to. I know it's hard looking in the mirror sometimes, I struggled with that and said negative things about myself, but you need to focus on the positive and appreciate yourself and the good things you are doing for yourself. I hated looking at myself in pictures, but when we took family pictures for Christmas I had lost about 50 pounds and was finally starting to like what I saw again. I am sure you will have a similar experience as you take this journey.

I am going to add ,it will get easier after your banded as long as you follow your doctors meal plan and post op directions of what foods you can have and how much they want you o eat it will take a bit of time getting used to , ad let me tell you I could not stand change , how ever this is one of the best changes I chose to have done for my self and I am not a very patient person and on that note let me say I a not at goal or even close and in Sept. I will be 2 years banded , so it takes time , I think most of us have had this feeling even till they roll us ino the operating room , so it is normal , well what ever (YOU) choose good luck and make the decision for you as I did for me , also if you got through the pre op diet then you will get through the next phase it is hard and you will feel like your starving , but you will get through it in what ever you choose to do, good luck again.

Thanks for the advice Debbie...it does make me feel better to hear you say that it will be a slow process...I have given up in the past because of no results, but if I don't have the preconceived notion that I will lose fast, then hopefully I will be able to stay focused on the change of lifestyle and end goal versus the immediate remedy. Thank you!

I was banded about 6 weeks ago. Throughout my pre-op diet and especially when the surgery date was scheduled right up until surgery itself I had my doubts. This is major surgery. I kept thinking maybe one more time of trying such-and-such diet, but I knew those never helped me long term and I needed something serious. There will be times post op (especially immediately post op when you're in a lot of pain and can only drink liquids) wondering what did you just do. I do not have a long term success story to tell you, but just wanted to give you some encouragement that you're not alone. It does get better. It is a wonderful tool.

Thanks Kim...I will think of your words when I am struggling with staying on liquids and having doubt.

I was banded about 6 weeks ago. Throughout my pre-op diet and especially when the surgery date was scheduled right up until surgery itself I had my doubts. This is major surgery. I kept thinking maybe one more time of trying such-and-such diet, but I knew those never helped me long term and I needed something serious. There will be times post op (especially immediately post op when you're in a lot of pain and can only drink liquids) wondering what did you just do. I do not have a long term success story to tell you, but just wanted to give you some encouragement that you're not alone. It does get better. It is a wonderful tool.

Thanks Kim...I will think of your words when I am struggling with staying on liquids and having doubt.

I was banded in September. On the morning of my surgery I considered running out of the hospital. I didn't. Two days after my surgery I cried and thought "what have I done?" Today, with a few short-lived pity parties thrown in for good measure, I can tell you this was the single best decision I have ever made for myself. I've lost nearly 90lbs, i have my hunger under control, my energy is way up, I hurt less, laugh more, and most importantly I am no longer a slave to food. Follow your doctor's plan, ask him questions, and come here for the best support. Good luck...you got this!

Thanks AuntDi...speaking of slave to food, is it normal to be two days from starting my pre op diet and trying to eat everything in sight up until then? It makes me think even more about being a failure...I feel ridiculous about doing it and I know it is the completely wrong choice...

I think we have all felt the way you are feeling.. at 67 years of age I wondered what I was thinking when I decided to get a lapband. but, after a year and losing 60 lbs I am so happy I went through with it.. the night before my surgery I really thought about backing out.. my best friend came to be with me and she said what will you do if you don't have this surgery? She reminded me of all the diets and gimmicks I had tried through the years and how my health was steadily declining. You will have some days of thinking "why did I do this" but after you start losing those pounds and feeling so much better it will be worth it.. I promise you. We are all here to help you .

Thank you Sharpie...you are such an inspiration and I truly appreciate you sharing your story