I wonder how many of us have kept this a secret from others and how that works. I am struggling between not telling anyone but my mom and husband, and telling everyone in hopes of perhaps helping someone who needs help or inspiration.

My retort to rude people that ask "can you eat that" is "sure have you a problem with that". Why should we get used to these comments, I never will and if they are going to be rude to me I will be rude back. Doddie

I haven't done it yet. My best friend (who is banded) and my husband and sons know I plan on doing it. None of them seem to have an issue about it at all. I don't think they really understand what it is. I told my mother and sister and my mother freaked out. She was absolutely terrified. I have since told her I changed my mind just to put her mind at ease, and will not tell her until I've lost a significant amount of weight and have to choice but to explain how. My sister was positive, but worried about side effects and complications. She works at a large hospital in Dallas and sees a lot of stuff, so she's worried, but not opposed. My regular doctor who recommended it, and all his nurses and staff are like a cheerleading team for me. Other than that, it's nobody's business.

I wish I had told people. Especially those at work. Some of these people are very close friends, one of whom is morbidly obese herself. I was scared to tell them for many reasons. I never really talked about my weight before with them and I felt self-conscience, I was afraid I would be constantly watched when I ate, I was afraid of failure, and I didn't want a hard time about having my surgery in Mexico. Looking back, I wished that I had told them just after my surgery.

When people ask me how I have lost my weight, I honestly tell them about tracking my food and cutting back on portions and carbs. When I walk away from them I feel really guilty. They are thinking that I have this tremendous self-control that I don't actually have. I'm now really afraid that a family member will blurt it out when we have get-togethers outside of work.

I wish I had told people. Especially those at work. Some of these people are very close friends, one of whom is morbidly obese herself. I was scared to tell them for many reasons. I never really talked about my weight before with them and I felt self-conscience, I was afraid I would be constantly watched when I ate, I was afraid of failure, and I didn't want a hard time about having my surgery in Mexico. Looking back, I wished that I had told them just after my surgery.

When people ask me how I have lost my weight, I honestly tell them about tracking my food and cutting back on portions and carbs. When I walk away from them I feel really guilty. They are thinking that I have this tremendous self-control that I don't actually have. I'm now really afraid that a family member will blurt it out when we have get-togethers outside of work.

I have told very few people and I too, feel this guilt that everyone must feel as though I have 'THE SECRET', so I say it is never too late. I will tell people who I feel would benefit from my experience. I don't have to justify why I didn't tell them at the start.

If you feel your coworker would benefit from your experience. I say tell her. But you can bet that who ever you tell, they WILL tell others, so if you are comfortable with that, then go for it.

hugs and congratulations on your weight loss.

What a shame that we are made to feel like failures for doing the bravest and most life changing thing we have most likely EVER done in our lives!!!!! I am going to try very hard to be proud of my successes and ignore rude and inconsiderate people and their comments ... walk a mile in our shoes and then throw a stone!!!!!

I only have told my husband, children, mother, and brother. People tend to be so negative at my workplace and I really couldn't handle the scrutiny. Keeping it a secret takes off the pressure of constantly being hounded about what I eat or how much I have lost.......

The couple who live in the cottage next to my in-laws' cottage saw me this past weekend for the first time in a year. They came rushing over to examine the "half-woman" as they put it. As they were so amazed by my weight loss I told them about the lapband and then the wife said that she knew of someone who had had the operation and had regained all the weight within 2 years. Ugh! Exactly the kind of negative comment that no bandster wants to hear.:eek: You have really got to watch out for people. They can so quickly begin raining on your little parade.:phanvan

I've only told DH and kids, mom and sister. People at work have started to notice my weight loss at almost 4 months out. They want to know what I've been doing. I just say "my treadmill and I are best friends" and that I try to keep my calories around 1300 per day...give or take a few.

When I was gone for my surgery the people in my office thought I had a cyst removed....I don't think anyone has put two and two together.

Which is fine with me.

Whats with telling people? Why do we have the need or compulsion to do this. One simple word when people make nice comments about loosing weight is "Thanks". Bad comments get bad comments back. Sort of like when people say "Good Morning how are you" your don't respond with "well I had a bit of whatever etc". We usually respond "Good Thanks" . The less said the better. If I want to discuss my weight, I do it with my doctor, DH that's it. Anyone else is out of the loop. I have had too many experiences in the past when I opened up and talked. Not good. Doddie

I'm very happy with my decision not to tell anyone. There have been a few awkward moments. We had a few family celebrations with cook-outs during two weeks of my banding. I was asked things like "What kind of diet are you on that you can't eat grilled vegetables (or strawberries, watermelon etc...). I had a lot of purple bruising which my little grand-daughter saw when she tried to tickle me and then kept talking about my "boo-boos" to everyone. Thankfully we do respect one anothers' privacy so no one would ask even if they suspected.

I was sent for cardiac testing (nuclear scan stress test) and the techs asked my about my bruising. They were both close to my weight so I told them and I was immediately sorry because of all their comments. I have a mammogram scheduled for next week and I have since decided that even though I must partially undress, I do not owe anyone any explanations about any bruising or scarring they may happen to notice.

I don't care who knows but I don't work. I'm home all day and if anyone is talking about how I should be losing weight faster or thinking about giving me unwarranted advice, etc., I don't know about it. That's a big difference than being subjected to things like that. My family is supportive and I knew they would be so it was no problem telling them.

I don't mind telling people if they seem genuinely amazed by and interested in my weight loss. I figure that they may have a friend or relative who could benefit by hearing about the band and who would be left feeling lousy about their struggles with weight loss upon hearing that Green is only "half a woman." And my decision as to who to tell is made much easier by the fact that I took early retirement and so I don't have to deal with work colleagues. I don't know what I would do if I was still working. People can be real mean about other people's good fortune.

I have not been banded yet but intend to not tell many. I am not even sure I will tell my children tho I am not sure how I could pull that one off!

Only my DH & kids know...and 2 supportive & DISCREET friends. I am very glad I've chosen to keep it a secret. I can always tell people later if I want...but once you tell people, you can't UN-tell them! So I figured better to be safe than sorry.

I am getting banded later this month and other than my DH, I don't plan on telling anyone. My bmi is 33 and I know people would say I should try a regular diet (like I haven't already done that over and over again!) before resorting to surgery. I want this to be a permanent solution and just don't want to have to keep explaining this or feeling judged.

Plus, my mom would freak over the cost since insurance won't cover it for me. I don't even plan on telling our kids -- only 7 and 4-- they would blab it to everyone -- including my mom --for sure.

All of my friends are really thin. I bet none of the women I'm friends with are over 140 lbs and most are probably around 110-125. I don't want the judgment from them either. Thank God my husband is supportive!