I wonder how many of us have kept this a secret from others and how that works. I am struggling between not telling anyone but my mom and husband, and telling everyone in hopes of perhaps helping someone who needs help or inspiration.

My bmi was not that high to begin with. So telling my friends was not a wise thing to do. Mainly because they would judge me (thinking I took the easy way out )

On the other hand, my mother, brother and sister all have a bmi of 43-45, with multiple comorbidities. I want them to live a long life, telling them about the band was neccesary(sp).

Overall I probably will not tell very many people.

Wow, did I take the "easy way out" when I had a tubal ligation 23 years ago? Wasn't four kids enough? LOL! Or when I had LASIK six years ago? I should still be wearing glasses, I guess!

And what's this about the band doing the work? On every other thread on this board, I've read that we do the work, with the help of the band. So whether it's the band or the elliptical or walking our dogs or the Atkins diet -- I mean, they are all tools but isn't it our own effort that results in the losses?

I'll have no problem saying that I'm exercising portion control. And hopefully exercising. End of story!

Y'all are a great bunch of folks and I'm learning more every day. I'm ready to start the testing phase. It shouldn't take too long as I'm self-pay. I can't wait to join you!

I haven't told many people but I did tell people that I eat with on a regular basis. I am glad I did too, because since this last fill, I have a lot more trouble with food getting stuck. It's a real problem, so I would advise people to tell people you are close to and have meals with on a regular basis.

I didn't tell people who I thought would be constantly asking me how much weight I have lost now, etc.

I told everyone: my family, my friends, and my neighors. I now have a "team" behind me. No one that KNOWS me has ever said that I am taking the "easy way out." And if they did...oh boy I would tell them a thing or two, and then show them to the door. My family and friends want me to be happy.

Everyone is excited for me. Since I am newly banded I cant eat solids, but people are constantly calling and inviting me over for dinner when I am feeling better. They want to make sure they have my "new" favorite foods and it is cooked the way I can eat it. So there will be no stress on me. (Hey in the newness of it all, we just all want to be careful...as the months roll on they will probably feed me steak...

I could not do this without all the love and support of my family and friends. And they would have never been here for me if I wouldn't told them.

Now I've got a new problem. To whom should I come clean about my facelift? I've been skulking around the house wearing sunglasses and a headscarf and my next door neighbours are becoming very, very curious.... Of course they know everyone on the street! And up at the local mall folks think that my husband has got himself a nice muslim girl.

Now I've got a new problem. To whom should I come clean about my facelift? I've been skulking around the house wearing sunglasses and a headscarf and my next door neighbours are becoming very, very curious.... Of course they know everyone on the street! And up at the local mall folks think that my husband has got himself a nice muslim girl.

Its none of anyone's business! :eek: If you wanna tell them, which, there's no shame in a nip/tuck at any time, tell them it was time for you to treat yourself like the hollywood starlet you really are! :car:

1. Let them think what they want. You are a nice muslim girl or your hubby beat you up, does it really matter to anyone other than your family. I had eye surgery and had two black eyes and looked like a racoon. A police officer offered me victims counselling. I burst out laughing and told him I had surgery and we both had a great laugh. Seriously it is nobodies business let them be curious if you don't want to say anything. But when they see the finished product and how beautifully young you are, they will know anyway. Doddie

I really want a face lift. I wonder how much they cost around here.

I really don't have excess skin anywhere else, but that turkey neck is really bugging me!

I had surgery 8/30 and I only told close friends and family. My parents are deceased. My initial weight loss was so dramatic that people were asking what's going on. I have since shared the info with many people. At first i felt ashamed that I needed help to lose the weight but now, I know that even with the surgery I have to make choices so I am still in control. I know 2 people who have had the surgery and are not losing. I am losing because of my choices. I am owning my decision to have this surgery and I am owning the weight I have lost, I am the master of my fate! I am proud of my decision and I am proud that even without the fill I have made good choices and am still losing. (my first fill is 10/15!) I haven't heard any negative comments. Some friends and my DH were afraid for me because they weren't familiar with the procedure but I schooled them and they have been very supportive. Again, I'm proud of myself, I could have wallowed in self-pity and self loathing but I made a decision that I am worth more than that. I love myself enough today to eat right and use this tool to be a healthier me and I don't care who knows it!

I've rattled on long enough! Good luck to all in this journey wether you share or not stay on track!:eek:

Val

319 H/314 surgery/289 current/274 mini goal 12/8 my 47th b-day gift/214 g

The reason I chose not to tell people is I know that I have a very slow metabolism. I knew I would be a slow loser. Even though I exercise regularly and eat right, follow all the rules, I go through long periods where I don't lose. The last thing I need to hear is

"I thought you had WLS"

I am going through the process of deciding if this is the right thing for me or not. i am going to see my Doctor tomorrow, i think i am most nervous about telling him i am considering it. He is kind of old fashioned in his thinking - but i do want his support.

With regard to telling friends and family, my husband is fully supportive and in agreement with me that i shouldn't tell anyone at first.

for me personally, it is a very private thing, i feel i have been judged my entire life ... well adult life ... about my weight - the last thing i need if this is the path i am going to head down, is people judging me for making this choice.

i am terrified it will be another failure - adding to the long list of diets, pills, exercise and other attempts that have provided short term or no success.

In addition to that, i live in new zealand, i think people will be less "open" to the idea and believe it is me taking the "easy way out". If only they knew! Something you can never educate them on!

I won't be telling anyone, inlcuding family (kids/mother) - just husband. He is supportive, although he took a while to understand how scared I am, he totally supportive foodwise and financially.

I had a breast reduction a number of years back now, I was desperately embarrassed and my supervisor at work literally harrassed me to find out what surgery I was having.

I work in another area now where, although I feel judged, my co-workers are fine with privacy.

I cannot put myself in a position of being judged and also suffering from panic attacks, the thought of having to justify myself, makes me know, for now at least that secrecy is imperative.

I have discussed this with my surgeon and gp, and surgeon particularly agrees there is a lot of prejudice and "easy way out" feeling out there. I think its going to be one of the most difficult things I have done, and time will tell.

I have another 10 days to go before banding.

My experience is people in general just don't respect your privacy, and that's sad.

I and so glad I have found the forum and such supportive people here :cool:

I haven't had my band done yet, will have it on 10/17/07, but have thought long and hard about announcing it. Decision goes with my comfort level, which is that I do not like to lie.

So a simple way that I feel will work for me is to tell the truth, but not the whole truth. Answer will be that I am eating less and exercising more....

The band is a tool, and it is not the only change made to achieve weight loss. Perhaps that answer will change, but this will keep my conscience clear and yet explain the weight loss.

Thanks and kudos to all of the contributors to this website. I have been so encouraged by your successes!

I haven't had my band done yet, will have it on 10/17/07, but have thought long and hard about announcing it. Decision goes with my comfort level, which is that I do not like to lie.

So a simple way that I feel will work for me is to tell the truth, but not the whole truth. Answer will be that I am eating less and exercising more....

The band is a tool, and it is not the only change made to achieve weight loss. Perhaps that answer will change, but this will keep my conscience clear and yet explain the weight loss.

Thanks and kudos to all of the contributors to this website. I have been so encouraged by your successes!

I agree -- there will certainly be no lie in that statement! At work, I was just going to say that I had some minor surgery and hope they won't pry asking me what it is. But if someone does ask, what do I say? I'm not a good liar so I need something ahead of time. Also, it isn't like me not to tell all, unfortunately. :eek: Any ideas?

I'm still keeping the surgery a secret from most people in my circle. After 6½ months since my surgery, I finally crossed the 40 pound mark this week. People are definitely starting to notice and ask, and I've tiptoed all around the subject, basically saying the same "eating less, exercising more" routine.

I will admit that while the band gave me a huge jump-start the first month (19 pounds), the rest of the time have been a real struggle. I really don't feel like the band restricts me from eating too much except maybe in the mornings. I'm tighter in the morning and get hiccups really bad no matter what I eat. But by lunch, I can pretty much eat as much as I want and so I have to really pull the reins back.

I'm careful on the types of foods I eat, as certain things will just cause major hiccups and causes a scene at restaurants. But greenbeans, salad, mashed potatoes, etc. go right through with no problem usually. My ownly weakness seems to be chips. Can't seem to do without them at a restaurant meal when the rest of my family's having them, but I don't have much trouble turning down bread these days, which was always a weakness before.

Anyway, over six months and 40 pounds down, my secret's still safe for the most part. Thanksgiving & Christmas will be a major test though -- both in people recognizing my weight loss and whether I can keep my willpower sustained. I'd love to be another 15 pounds lighter by the first of the year which would put me over the half-way mark towards my goal.