I wonder how many of us have kept this a secret from others and how that works. I am struggling between not telling anyone but my mom and husband, and telling everyone in hopes of perhaps helping someone who needs help or inspiration.

My theory on this is that you can never "untell" someone a secret. I didn't ever want to regret telling someone, so only two people in the whole world know about my surgery (two of my children).

Tawanda

My job is employee benefits to 150 employees. My decision not to tell any co workers is I dont have time to talk about it and tell the same story 150 times and I didnt want to be the poster child for the band. I know alot of questions about the procedure would come up the main one I've ALWAYS HATED," GEE, how much have you lost? I told my boss I was having a cist removed and that was it... I am a very privite person and I asked her not to mention even that. Everyone else that asked, was told I was on vacation. I oversee vacations & FMLA so our medical privicy is recognized, no one dares to ask me about ANYONES leave. I started to lose wt a few months before the "vacation", and when anyone askes what I'm doing to lose weight I simply say, "I eat less and avoid anything white". No one has anything but congrats. I tell them, "congratulate me when I've kept it off for five years", for me that is the true accomplishment. Ive lost and gained the same 75 lbs more then once in my life. I hope the band helps me to not gain the wt back. So far all is well in that department. My Mom, kids and sig other of 10 years, are very supportive and see no reason to talk about how I'm losing, they're just happy I am.

i did kept it a secret just my own family knows (mom+dad and both of my sisters and one of them i told her husband just because he is a doctor and asked him for consultations) and planning to keep it at that coz if i told people they all started to observe me and my progress and starting to be thier faveroute topic after someone's divorce or what ever(dont forget it consider a plastic surgery)and u know how people react to such surgeries .

I told my mom only and she told a lot of people! I dont like telling people cuz it's embarrasing. Also, god forbid I spend all of this money and have the surgery and it doesn't work. All of the family friends that know question me about how much I lost and its annoying. I also told a guy I was dating, cuz I didn't want him to see my stomach scars and think there was something medically wrong with me. I am very picky in who I tell.

I have only told a couple of very close friends, my hubby and my mom. Unfortunately, my hubby has told quite a few people at his job, in order to get time off to go meet with the surgeon with me. I don't plan on telling my job. I will take vacation for the time I will miss for surgery.

~Amy

Telling or not tell that is the question most of us face. Whatever reason we choose, it is the right one. However just like telling one person your secret, it is no longer a secret, the same holds true to lying. Eventually you will be caught. Then your boss may think you are untrustworthy as if you would like for this reason what about what you do in his business place. I was a cashier at one time and came in short at the end of the day. I was mortified and said I would make it up. My boss said if you would put money in for being short, what would you do if you were over? So he accepted the loss and I always balanced after that. So if my advice means anything, tell the truth or keep silent. Doddie

I have told everyone I know. Everyone has given me lots of support. My biggest decision was whether to tell my 2nd grade class or not. I decided to tell them. My surgery was 4 days before school started and I wasn't sure how much standing or hugs I could take. I didn't have any problems, even my class is supportive, and they bring me healthy snacks instead of cupcakes.

STRANGE????

I have told mostly friends- closest and ones I work with. My immediate family knows (husband and kids) but I have not told anyone else in my family or my husband's family.

Is that weird??

Tami

STRANGE????

I have told mostly friends- closest and ones I work with. My immediate family knows (husband and kids) but I have not told anyone else in my family or my husband's family.

Is that weird??

Tami

Not at all! It's normal that we confide at different levels. I once attended a middle school faculty meeting where we were invited to share any positive news or celebrations. One gal stood up and announced that she and her husband had sex the previous night! That was almost ten years ago. She is now the principal of that school.

Telling or not tell that is the question most of us face. Whatever reason we choose, it is the right one. However just like telling one person your secret, it is no longer a secret, the same holds true to lying. Eventually you will be caught. Then your boss may think you are untrustworthy as if you would like for this reason what about what you do in his business place. I was a cashier at one time and came in short at the end of the day. I was mortified and said I would make it up. My boss said if you would put money in for being short, what would you do if you were over? So he accepted the loss and I always balanced after that. So if my advice means anything, tell the truth or keep silent. Doddie

I worked retail for years, I understand what you mean and I totaly agree that any decision we make it the right one for us. But,Lying and being privite are different in my opinion. First, part of my passion is my job of FMLA bookkeeper. I'd get sued if I talked about medical things. For me, medical history is not a secret. it's personal business....if you want sick pay someone will need to know your having a medical procedure BUT! NOTE TO EVERYONE, our medical history for any reason is private. there are laws in the U.S. that protect this. my boss HAS A BIG MOUTH, Some of us have work friends who dont, I try never to ask medical questions with ANYONE. If someone I am not close to; I dont care who they are; is rude enough to ask, I'm rude enough to lie. If I had cancer I still would probably tell no one at work and if they asked why my hair is gone I'd probably smile and say I like it this way.or I'd rather not dicuss my health at work. Heck, I approve sick leave and I still dont ask why, I just get the Dr. note, If they give me a document with health info on it, I give it back and say, "this is not my business and I dont want medical records in your file" and none of us should have medical things in our work files. Employers have no right to ask. medical documents can be very generic.

I know there are compationate people out there but REALLY some things are no ones business. I rank it up there with religion, and politics. some things, if you choose, should not be talked about in the work place, if thats your choice, it should be respected by everyone. I know in a perfect world this would work huh? Sorry, Ill get off my soap box now :)

Happy New Year!

I have told my OH one of my children, my boss, one friend and my WW leader. I told one friend as a test and she kind of failed so I won't be telling anyone else soon especially not my Mum as she judges everythig and would be an absolute pain!!!

Well,

At first I only told my mom and my hubby, both sworn to secrecy. This was before the procedure, I really didnt want to hear any negative comments or have people try to sway me either way. Afterwards, I told a few close friends, and after my mom heard I told a few people, she started blabbing! I was not happy about that, but I guess that is what i deserved. She only told family members, but those where the folks I didnt want to be told.

I felt very betrayed that she told them (my dad, brother and BIG MOUTHED aunt).

my dad decided i shouldnt tell his side of the family, so they just think im losing it alone.

I tell anyone who wants to know. I don't lie about my weight loss. I am not ashamed of using this wonderful tool called the lap band. I could meet someone who wants to do it or doesn't know how wonderful it is. I want to mentor to someone who might need it.

I won't be lying to my boss. I will take vacation time and what I do with my vacation time is my business. I agree it is my private business and they don't really need to know.

~Amy

Who you tell and how much you tell are totally person decisions.

In the beginning of my journey I decided I wouldn’t tell any one. It was embarrassing enough that I had eaten myself to this weight and of course there was that collective thinking of surgery being the “easy way”.

But I changed my mind early on . I decided that the lap band is the tool that will work for me, because I’m willing to work for it. If I were to tell people right now that the way I’m losing weight is ONLY by eating less and exercising more then I lose the option of being proud that I made a life changing , life saving decision to have the band.

Six months from now I wouldn’t want to say oh by the way I sorta lied by omission and had lap band surgery in November.

Thats what my decision was based on, but like I said, who you tell and how much you tell are totally person decisions.