OK, let me just start by saying, this may be TMI for some of you but I really just need to get this off my chest.

Anyway, what has caught me by surprise with this surgery is that I’m having some self-image issues. I’ve always had self-image issues as an overweight individual but I assumed that as I lost weight, I would feel better about myself. And I do. In some ways. Maybe it’s not a self-image issue at all. Maybe it’s just anger and resentment? Perhaps it's a mix. I don’t know. The problem is this. DH had reached a point where he was no longer interested in being intimate with me at all prior to my weight loss. Now he’s enjoying my weight loss. He keeps telling me how I look like the person he married and how hot and sexy I am. He’s constantly trying to get me to have sex with him. He's always "grabbing and pawing" at me. He keeps me up at night arguing about whether we're going to have sex or whether I'm going to sleep. He wakes me up in the morning way before I need to be up just because he wants to have sex. Why is that a problem? Because it pisses me off. His disrupting my sleep and I'm not a morning person and I don't like when people screw with my sleep schedule anyway. I am paranoid about having him see me naked. I don't like how I look right now. I'm um, well....I've always been "well endowed" and never had any issues with sagging. Now that I've lost quite a bit of weight, the girls are looking all sad and droopy and deflated and quite honestly, it really bothers me. It makes me mad that he’s all interested in sex now and he wasn’t before I started losing weight. If he loved me so much, he should’ve wanted to be with me then, right? And if he didn’t want me then, why should he have me now? If I wasn’t good enough then, I’m certainly not good enough now. And now he’s acting all jealous all the time. He thinks every man out there is looking at me and makes all sorts of comments about how they better not be looking at his woman, as if I’m property. And I don’t like it. And I’m not even sure how to deal with it. I mean sure, I’m glad he likes what he sees but then, it makes me angry that my appearance seems to be more important to him than who I am on the inside. I don’t know...I suppose it’s just part of the process but I’m not sure how to deal with him right now. And maybe he just doesn’t know how to deal with the new me? Heck, I don’t even know how to deal with the new me.......

Frank your health comes first. You would probably not have lived long if you remained over 400 lbs. Then she would have NO husband. Get some counseling, either with her or without. My husband was 320 lbs, 6'1" and I am thrilled he has been sleeved so I can have him live longer. He is 65 and 2 months post op. Best wishes. Keep that communication open with your wife. I know those were hurtful words to you but maybe she had no idea how it sounded to you.

I will admit this is something I've had a lot of years to think about. And for a lot of years I was offended that my ex found me more attractive (and was more jealous) when I was thin than when I was heavy.

But I think we judge people too harshly. Love and attraction are not always tied in. When we're single, we look initially for those who we find attractive so why wouldn't we even when we're with them long term? Love can make someone more attractive, sure, but physicality is still important. I will not lie and say that when my guy gains and gets that horrid beer belly, that I find him as attractive as when he is working out and is lean and fit. Do I love him any less? NO.

Gaining weight is no different to suddenly having a comb-over, or wearing sandals with socks, or growing a ZZ top beard. I find none of those things attractive, and it would probably make me want my guy less sexually if he did one or all of the above, but I would still love him.

And the fact that more girls pay him attention when he works out is NOT lost on me, so of course I feel more jealousy.

And in the end, he feels all those things for me too, so I know that while his love for me never ebbs, I need to own the fact that I may not be AS attractive to him if I do things or become someone he wouldn't normally find attractive. Does it mean he doesn't love me? Not at all.

Nice insight, lellow !

Lelow, could not agree with you more! Have faith friends, if a door closes, a window opens up. Really, sometimes people and things move out of our lives to make room for the next part of our journey. Sending positive thoughts and positive energy your way!