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Are you comfortable talking about it?

I had a job interview with a big client the day before my sleeve. I told her that I would be taking 2 weeks off from my work. She really wanted me to start working immediately, but said she could wait. Before I know it, she's on the phone with me asking when I'll be back. I said I didn't know because I'd heard many things about recovery times. She asked me flat out, "What, are you getting a tummy tuck?" I was so embarrassed (hell, it's like asking a flat chested girl if she's getting a boob job. Presumptuous and insulting!)

I said no and she told me that she'd had one and ended up in the hospital and had been out for a week from work. I was really uncomfortable talking about it, because I have a habit of keeping work and health completely seperate.

I don't really like to tell people about it unless I know they are considering it or they've had it also. Mostly because people assume it's the easy way out (It's actually harder!) or it's like telling them that I'm enormous. It just makes me uncomfortable.

Do you discuss it openly at work, with friends, acqaintances, etc? Or do you prefer to keep it under wraps?

I'm fine talking about it with family and friends, but I really prefer not to discuss it at all.

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  • sbarbiegirl
    sbarbiegirl

    I guess I'm different. I discuss my wls with everyone. I even tell servers when I go to a restaurant that I had wls and I can't eat that much so hold the bread and I will be sharing to bring an extra

  • I never went out of my way to tell everyone but I also never avoided talking about it. I figured that folks might notice when I lost 100+ pounds so avoiding the subject was temporary at best. I also h

  • I'm an open book so yes everyone knows. I have had some people be judgemental and I either walk away or tell them that I'm thrilled with my decision and I am only allowing positive thoughts and gestu

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My husband and my doctors and you guys and another sleeve group I belong to.

  • Author

Oh wow, I didn't know anyone responded! LOL. It didn't show up in my activity so I apologize for not responding. Thank you all for sharing. It helps to know how other people handle it, regarding their lifestyles.

  • 3 weeks later...

I've told pretty much everyone and the response has been universally supportive. For those worried about haters, they're really not out there and if you do find one, odds are you would do well to cross them off your list. Both my immediate boss and our Managing Director know about it and have been super supportive. I find their support helps keep me motivated, the other thing I believe is that the more people you tell, the more accountable you are because if you start slipping up, everyone will know as it is not a secret. Bottom line is that I am proud I finally did something for my health and to be here for my family. I see no need to hide that.

  • Author

I like your outlook Brant, thanks for adding. I think you're right. I get uncomfortable sometimes but shouldn't.

  • 3 weeks later...

It is really fun the unexpected places you find support. The President of the division of the company I work for was at our office visiting on Wednesday and noticed I had lost a lot of weight. Somehow I felt comfortable enough to tell him how I had done it and he proceeded to commend me for making the life improving decision and we proceeded to have a 10 minute conversation about it. There really are a lot of people out there who get it, and don't see us as weak or taking the easy way out for having WLS.

I started a new job at the same company 8 weeks before my surgery. During the interview I chose not to say anything for fear of it hurting my chances. After I got the job and it was official, I approached my new supervisors and told them what I was doing. They were very supportive and I was able to take 3 weeks off. After I came back I couldn't lift more than 20 pds. Again, they were completely supportive. Since then I have been very open and honest with everyone who has noticed my 100 pd weight loss. I have had nothing but compliments and praise.

I told no one...took vacation time for my surgery....

When I was loosing weight everyone was complimenting me, asking how I was doing it...

I simply said I was eating a lot less, have high protein smoothies everyday for breakfast, go to the gym everyday, no longer eat red meat, and what foods I do eat, I make the best choices I can....all of which is 100% true

That was over 2 years ago....today, I am at my "optimal" weight with very low body fat, no more left to loose....people have come to accept me the way I am now, loosing weight is old news and not a topic of discussion....and new people I meet don't know me when I was a fat unhealthy slob....

I have told no one of my surgery. Not even my husband. Everyone thinks I am having surgery because of ulcers. I have no idea what I'm going to do when my husband come to the hospital. I don't know if the doctor is going to tell him. I hope not. I hope my husband doesn't start asking questions. Do I feel bad..... Yes, of course. I'm doing this for me. I didn't want negative feedback on my decision. I didn't want opinions, questions, or concerns. I know my family will support me but they talk to much. My mom has always told me the best person to tell you secret to is yourself. So that is what I did.... Kept it to myself. Now, the ulcer wasn't a complete lie because while on this gastric sleeve journey I found out that I had ulcers but they healed with medication and diet. Don't get me wrong I feel guilty........ BUT; I have worked so hard for my family and friends. Put so much before myself and woke up one day realizing I didn't know who "I was" anymore. I was 5'4 200 lbs with bad knees and back. I spent 10 years in the military proudly before getting medically discharged. I was so consumed in my family and everyday life that I couldn't tell you what made me happy anymore. I had faked my smile for so long I couldn't even tell you what was real and what smile was fake. So I needed to do things for me. Mentally..... Spiritually ....... And physically! That is what I have done. For 3 years I have slowly got back to me and I am happy. So I made this choice for me and me alone. This was my gift to myself. Yes it was selfish not telling my husband and family and I maybe wrong, but I am proud of myself and I love me!!! My husband loves me and my family. Right now I am going through my pre op liquid diet my surgery is 1 March 2014. And nobody knows that I'm having gastric sleeve surgery but me.

I have told no one of my surgery. Not even my husband. Everyone thinks I am having surgery because of ulcers. I have no idea what I'm going to do when my husband come to the hospital. I don't know if the doctor is going to tell him. I hope not. I hope my husband doesn't start asking questions. Do I feel bad..... Yes, of course. I'm doing this for me. I didn't want negative feedback on my decision. I didn't want opinions, questions, or concerns. I know my family will support me but they talk to much. My mom has always told me the best person to tell you secret to is yourself. So that is what I did.... Kept it to myself. Now, the ulcer wasn't a complete lie because while on this gastric sleeve journey I found out that I had ulcers but they healed with medication and diet. Don't get me wrong I feel guilty........ BUT; I have worked so hard for my family and friends. Put so much before myself and woke up one day realizing I didn't know who "I was" anymore. I was 5'4 200 lbs with bad knees and back. I spent 10 years in the military proudly before getting medically discharged. I was so consumed in my family and everyday life that I couldn't tell you what made me happy anymore. I had faked my smile for so long I couldn't even tell you what was real and what smile was fake. So I needed to do things for me. Mentally..... Spiritually ....... And physically! That is what I have done. For 3 years I have slowly got back to me and I am happy. So I made this choice for me and me alone. This was my gift to myself. Yes it was selfish not telling my husband and family and I maybe wrong, but I am proud of myself and I love me!!! My husband loves me and my family. Right now I am going through my pre op liquid diet my surgery is 1 March 2014. And nobody knows that I'm having gastric sleeve surgery but me.

My father always say, "a secret is good between two people if one of them is dead".

One year ago in March..I interview for an executive position in a major petroleum company. During the interview the HR was extremely thorough..When the interview was almost over and I was some what comfortable and reassured the interview when well... she at this point (a tactical move on her part I'm sure) asked me if I had any special needs that I felt were detrimental to the position I was applying for. AHHH YEP..so I tactfully explained my bariatriness to her. And why, god forbid, a meeting should go on for hours, how I might need to eat something, or be excused to do so. Got the job..I think in this case, my honesty and forthcoming was a plus. The last thing I ever want to do is to make my staff and co-workers resent me for ANYTHING they may think I doing which might be a special privilege.

But this far out, I don't mention it unless I feel I have to. Which most of the time I don't.

I am two weeks post and no one but me knows about the surgery. I had it done out if state while away for a work conference. I am not married but my parents and immediate family are very close (figuratively and literally - must live within 20 min from me and I have 6 siblings ).

I wanted to do this for me. I didn't want to be judged. I know my family would be supportive but I didn't want everyone honing in on what I was eating or not eating.

I have told no one of my surgery. Not even my husband. Everyone thinks I am having surgery because of ulcers. I have no idea what I'm going to do when my husband come to the hospital. I don't know if the doctor is going to tell him. I hope not. I hope my husband doesn't start asking questions. Do I feel bad..... Yes, of course. I'm doing this for me. I didn't want negative feedback on my decision. I didn't want opinions, questions, or concerns. I know my family will support me but they talk to much. My mom has always told me the best person to tell you secret to is yourself. So that is what I did.... Kept it to myself. Now, the ulcer wasn't a complete lie because while on this gastric sleeve journey I found out that I had ulcers but they healed with medication and diet. Don't get me wrong I feel guilty........ BUT; I have worked so hard for my family and friends. Put so much before myself and woke up one day realizing I didn't know who "I was" anymore. I was 5'4 200 lbs with bad knees and back. I spent 10 years in the military proudly before getting medically discharged. I was so consumed in my family and everyday life that I couldn't tell you what made me happy anymore. I had faked my smile for so long I couldn't even tell you what was real and what smile was fake. So I needed to do things for me. Mentally..... Spiritually ....... And physically! That is what I have done. For 3 years I have slowly got back to me and I am happy. So I made this choice for me and me alone. This was my gift to myself. Yes it was selfish not telling my husband and family and I maybe wrong, but I am proud of myself and I love me!!! My husband loves me and my family. Right now I am going through my pre op liquid diet my surgery is 1 March 2014. And nobody knows that I'm having gastric sleeve surgery but me.

While your in recovery the surgeon will let your husband know everything went well. If your husband ask questions about the surgery your surgeon will more than likely answer the questions in detail revealing your secret-this happened to me with my aunt who was in the waiting room

Technically, you have the right and the doctor has a legal responsibility to respect your right to direct that he/she not discuss the surgery with anyone including your husband if that's what you specify. The laws on confidentiality of medical treatment and history are quite strict and vigorously enforced.

Wow.. I'm still very sad that after all this time these surgery's still have such negative connotations?? Man, am I sheltered. Remember when meeting 'the love of your life' online was a death sentence?????...Hope these surgery's hurrys up and get pass their stigma's also.

Your healthcare/information is your personal business. She has no legal right to ask and you aren't required to disclose.

It is reasonable to ask for a return date and I would let your doc provide the answer. Guidelines from my doc are 4 weeks. Some can return earlier and later depending on complications and your personal ability to recover.

As for me, I didn't even tell my family. So, definitely not sharing with.a perspective employer.

Hope this helps?

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