so has anyone else been told that they should stop losing weight by people other than their surgeon or pcp? I have...twice in two days, two people said i should stop where im at. I have 30 or so more pounds to lose. so of course i said no, i wont stop. but im wondering what really is the reason. I'm guessing it's because they just like my size now. They also think im disappearing, and this could be because, of course, it's only been 5 months, and i've lost 50 lbs.

Who else has had these encounters??

Edited December 17, 201312 yr by nicesmile28

Yup, sometimes well-meaning but misguided, sometimes exactly for the reason you mention - they don't want me to get smaller than them. People can be really funny even if they do want you to do well - that's ok as long as you know your place. And if that's as the fattest person in their group or being fatter than them, then that's where they want you to stop.

Smile, thank them and tell them that your doc is supervising and he/she will tell you when to stop at a healthy weight. Then change the subject...

Congratulations on your loss to date, fantastic!

I get that all the time! Some are very nice and say you look great at this weight but I've had a couple say stuff like you need to put on some weight! So rude! Some people have no tact!

I was told I was ok before I even started, by a nurse at the hospital! I was morbidly obese but she thought I looked ok. Good thing I didn't go by esthetics, health trumps all.

Stop where your body needs you to, not where self-appointed fashion gurus advise.

Edited December 17, 201312 yr by gmanbat

Sorry off thread - gmanbat, great pic!

I have discovered on this journey that my weight loss makes other people feel uncomfortable.

Don't let that discourage you. Lose all the weight you want to lose.

Thank you all for ur replies and encouragement. so far no women have said anything, and thankfully i have more supportive friends and family than not. So im gonna still do what needs to be done, cuz im trying to make goal by march!

People too are having a hard time adjusting to the new you...they think with their eyes. She is getting smaller too fast because they are still not used to it..They like you, have to catch up..

I have a friend that is mad at me all the time now...Not because she thinks I am too small or anything but that I am always asking for her clothes..She says it is very annoying...I can't believe that because well I need them...you know...I have taken some pretty nice stuff from her...So she is not showing me so much anymore what she gets new..

Some attitude eh!!!!!!!!lol

nicesmile28 am I reading you tracker correctly you're trying to get to 95lbs?

I am dealing with some MAJOR medical issues right now, and I had to see a rheumatologist for the first time yesterday. He was reviewing my medical history and saw that I have had WLS, he questioned why I did it and I said I was 244 pounds, at 5'5 and morbidly obese, he looked me in the eye and said, that is the average sized American why do something so drastic? I was floored. I have never had a doctor ask me why I didn't want to be morbidly obese anymore. I explained to him that I wanted to be healthy, and extend my life. I said the average American also smokes, and drinks alcohol on a regular basis, but I don't do either of those things either. He dropped it, but still I was stunned that he said at 244 pounds I was average for an American, and he was surprised I had surgery. I'm glad I did it, and I think it will help me deal with the problems I'm facing now, but it was still shocking to hear.

I am 5 pounds under my goal, and I have had several people tell me that I need to stop losing weight, or ask me if I knew how to stop losing now that I'm at my goal. My mother lectures me all the time about getting too thin, or not eating enough. I am in a size 8, and I don't think I'm too thin at all, I'm very comfortable at the size I am right now. I would love to have the access skin removed, and that will probably make me a size 4, but I'm not doing it for the size, I want to do it to help with the constant rash, and sores that I'm dealing with in the folds of my skin. I am however affraid that when they take off all the extra skin I WILL be underweight. I'm 5'5 and 130 pounds now, is that going to put me in the underweight catagory? That is a question I NEVER thought I would have to ask.

Like you, Pierced and Gman, I had a doctor in the hospital tell me that I hadn't needed to have the surgery. I reported her back to the surgeon and the hospital, and I told her that I had qualified for it, and insurance had agreed. There is a bias that you need to be wildly out of the norm to benefit from the surgery, but the guidelines are arbitrary at best. If anything, at 234 or 238 or whatever I was a better surgical risk than if I had been 338.

But this is off track. I really don't know yet what my final goal weight is. But aside from my ticker, my surgeon, and you fine people, it is none of anyone else's business. I have just now started to hear compliments about the weight loss. Some of these same people who compliment me now, might not like it if I start to "compete" with them, thinness or looks wise. And that will be their problem.

I have been the funny, fat girl in my crowd for a long time and I still don't know how this will all pan out.

I think we all encounter someone who says that to us at some point or another. There are those who are genuine and well meaning. They don't see us for our exterior, just love us for who we are on the inside. To them we are already perfect. Then there are those who wish to keep us in whatever position or box they have created for us. If we lose weight we take their power away to keep us in said position. And there are those who are just jealous. They wish they too could lose weight and change their lives, yet fail to get the need to surrender to the truth of their situation. They see our weight loss as a type of threat. They have fragile psyches and feel empowered by telling us we are doing it all wrong. ( although clearly we are not) And then there are just the clueless ones. They have no concept of what WLS really is about. They are not educated on the topic and don't wish to be. The funniest story I have had to date is actually from my hematologist. Yes, a DOCTOR! He asked me what happens when I lose the weight I need / want to. How do I stop myself from losing too much?? My answer... "IDK, I guess I will just eat a donut or something". LOL

nicesmile28 am I reading you tracker correctly you're trying to get to 95lbs?

yes, but i may adjust it to 105. I'm 4'7.5" in case u were thinking that that was way too low of a number lol

I am dealing with some MAJOR medical issues right now, and I had to see a rheumatologist for the first time yesterday. He was reviewing my medical history and saw that I have had WLS, he questioned why I did it and I said I was 244 pounds, at 5'5 and morbidly obese, he looked me in the eye and said, that is the average sized American why do something so drastic? I was floored. I have never had a doctor ask me why I didn't want to be morbidly obese anymore. I explained to him that I wanted to be healthy, and extend my life. I said the average American also smokes, and drinks alcohol on a regular basis, but I don't do either of those things either. He dropped it, but still I was stunned that he said at 244 pounds I was average for an American, and he was surprised I had surgery. I'm glad I did it, and I think it will help me deal with the problems I'm facing now, but it was still shocking to hear.

I am 5 pounds under my goal, and I have had several people tell me that I need to stop losing weight, or ask me if I knew how to stop losing now that I'm at my goal. My mother lectures me all the time about getting too thin, or not eating enough. I am in a size 8, and I don't think I'm too thin at all, I'm very comfortable at the size I am right now. I would love to have the access skin removed, and that will probably make me a size 4, but I'm not doing it for the size, I want to do it to help with the constant rash, and sores that I'm dealing with in the folds of my skin. I am however affraid that when they take off all the extra skin I WILL be underweight. I'm 5'5 and 130 pounds now, is that going to put me in the underweight catagory? That is a question I NEVER thought I would have to ask.

i dunno what was up with that doctor. just because that is the average size for an american, doesnt make it right. its no surprise that he reacted that way. what ppl dont kno, they question. i wish you the best of luck!

I think we all encounter someone who says that to us at some point or another. There are those who are genuine and well meaning. They don't see us for our exterior, just love us for who we are on the inside. To them we are already perfect. Then there are those who wish to keep us in whatever position or box they have created for us. If we lose weight we take their power away to keep us in said position. And there are those who are just jealous. They wish they too could lose weight and change their lives, yet fail to get the need to surrender to the truth of their situation. They see our weight loss as a type of threat. They have fragile psyches and feel empowered by telling us we are doing it all wrong. ( although clearly we are not) And then there are just the clueless ones. They have no concept of what WLS really is about. They are not educated on the topic and don't wish to be. The funniest story I have had to date is actually from my hematologist. Yes, a DOCTOR! He asked me what happens when I lose the weight I need / want to. How do I stop myself from losing too much?? My answer... "IDK, I guess I will just eat a donut or something". LOL

lol my good friend said she gets scared, because she's like "what if u lose so much, and cant stop and end up in a wheelchair?!" bless her heart...i said the body doesnt work like that my dear lol i really do have a great circle. but some ppl are definitely, beyond a reasonable doubt...clueless