What is your definition of skinny? Is that your ultimate weight loss goal? How do you determine if and when you have reached this allusive size and shape?

I am working really hard just to feel normal! I can't even begin to wrap my head around the idea that one day I might actually be skinny again. Even when I was a size 2, 110 pound college freshman, I didn't feel skinny. How the hell am I going to feel that way at 42, after two children and a lot of wear and tear on these old bones?

I won't achieve the body I want no matter my weight without plastics.

That's stressful to know. It's hard on my self esteem.

I just realized auto correct made that post party stretch marks instead of postpartum. That must have been some party.

Auto correct comes up with some gold. I loved that! From now on, my own postpartum stretch marks are going to be know as post party!

On the topic, I don 't know if I want to be skinny because I don't think of skinny as healthy. People call me skinny now and it takes me aback. I don't think I am skinny but I do think I am slim.

My stand out moments have included the time I first saw my collarbones. I LOVE them! I love seeing them pronounced and obvious. More recently it has been seeing my ribcage and my hip bones. Even more pronounced is feeling my hip bones when I lie on my side, it isn't comfortable, far from it! But it makes me smile nonetheless.

I love being able to buy clothes, almost any clothes I want and from any shop.

I still have times I feel 'fat' and this usually occurs when at the gym or yoga because so many of those around me are actually skinny! That said, i wouldn't call them unhealthy, but i do make comparisons and try to picture myself post plastics. I still want curves, I like curves and I don't want to be bony. I still have my belly and thigh skin excess which isn't all that pretty and does make me feel 'fat'. My husband has asked that I not refer to this as ugly which has been a hard transition to make.

I want to be slim, healthy and fit.

I won't achieve the body I want no matter my weight without plastics. That's stressful to know. It's hard on my self esteem.

Agreed, and at 26 that's a tough pill to swallow.

LV, I stress over this literally every single day. I have this idea in my mind of what I know I want to look like, but I have no idea if that is even possible given how big I once was. Will I ever be able to wear a bikini and not want to end it all? Will I ever be comfortable enough to walk around in my underwear around some new boyfriend? You get the idea. As crazy as this sounds, the fear that I won't reach this ideal is literally debilitating at times.

Ideal, yes it's a struggle in a perfect world I would look much different at the end of this.. But as it stands now. I look just like I did before but a smaller version. I am the same shape as obese Laura.

I guess that's what strikes me funny about those pictures and "ideals" Not only do we sometimes have these expectations of numbers but we start looking at these want to look like certain things that might not even be our body type! I mean some of us are hourglass some of us are all belly on two walking sticks! Some of us have knockers that will tip us over in a small breeze

So really as hard as it is (and shit it's hard) we shouldn't enter into this wanting to look like someone or something else..

I will still be 5'4 (I hope ) older with floppy thighs and spider veins... Can I wear a swimsuit?

Fuck no! I did this to my body and it can't all be undone.

BUT!!! Swimsuit aside I can do a lot more now and feel comfortable.

Skinny.... No that's not what I can shoot for but "normal" is a real goal. And normal centered into reality. Which is perfect in its imperfections.

I won't achieve the body I want no matter my weight without plastics. That's stressful to know. It's hard on my self esteem.

Agreed, and at 26 that's a tough pill to swallow.

Ah plastics yes a possibility..

But not a road all of us will travel.

Ideal, yes it's a struggle in a perfect world I would look much different at the end of this.. But as it stands now. I look just like I did before but a smaller version. I am the same shape as obese Laura. I guess that's what strikes me funny about those pictures and "ideals" Not only do we sometimes have these expectations of numbers but we start looking at these want to look like certain things that might not even be our body type! I mean some of us are hourglass some of us are all belly on two walking sticks! Some of us have knockers that will tip us over in a small breeze So really as hard as it is (and **** it's hard) we shouldn't enter into this wanting to look like someone or something else.. I will still be 5'4 (I hope ) older with floppy thighs and spider veins... Can I wear a swimsuit? f**k no! I did this to my body and it can't all be undone. BUT!!! Swimsuit aside I can do a lot more now and feel comfortable. Skinny.... No that's not what I can shoot for but "normal" is a real goal. And normal centered into reality. Which is perfect in its imperfections.

Very, very true. How did our minds get like this?! Do guys worry about this stuff as much as we do?!

For now, I have no interest in plastics. That said, after my brain surgery, I swore off WLS saying I would never have surgery again unless they dragged my half dead body into the OR without my knowledge and look at me now.

I'm 42 years old and I am OK with the thought that I will never be what I once was in a bikini. I am never going to have anyone beg me to be the centerfold of a skin mag (unless it's literally a SKIN fetish mag). I may never again wear short shorts and braless would only mean a peek show from somewhere around my waist.

My husband loves me just the way I am and he's happy to have a warm place to park his parts. If we were ever to split and I was to reenter the dating world, whatever new guy I stumble upon would have to learn to like me the way I am as well because I'm not changing for any man.

My body has carried me through some really great times, really tough times and has put up with a whole hell of alotta abuse from me and is still strong and healthy DESPITE me. I don't know if I want to roll the dice with anesthesia again, but I will never say never.

If I did anything, I would love a boob lift, but they make great bras for that. A tummy tuck maybe? I don't know if I have enough skin for that. A leg lift would probably be my most needed job, but it sounds so painful and I am a big wuss, so...

First I need to find 100% happiness in ME and I am getting there. I first need to figure out what I'm looking for before I'll be able to find it. Or will I get really lucky and stumble on it?

I think skinny is always a little smaller than the person wants to be, no matter where's that is. Many here would consider me skinny, but I do not. I have a jiggle on my thighs, a little roll around my tummy, and a turkey gobbler neck. Of course,I'm also closer to 60 than 50. I like the way the girl with 17% body fat looks. I don't look like that.

My BMI is 21.8. I a small,small boned, small chested, and long limbed. I m not skinny. To me, skinny is when your ribs stick out, your hipbones jut out like clothes hangers, or your knees are bigger than your thighs.

Lynda

Ideal, yes it's a struggle in a perfect world I would look much different at the end of this.. But as it stands now. I look just like I did before but a smaller version. I am the same shape as obese Laura. I guess that's what strikes me funny about those pictures and "ideals" Not only do we sometimes have these expectations of numbers but we start looking at these want to look like certain things that might not even be our body type! I mean some of us are hourglass some of us are all belly on two walking sticks! Some of us have knockers that will tip us over in a small breeze So really as hard as it is (and **** it's hard) we shouldn't enter into this wanting to look like someone or something else.. I will still be 5'4 (I hope ) older with floppy thighs and spider veins... Can I wear a swimsuit? f**k no! I did this to my body and it can't all be undone. BUT!!! Swimsuit aside I can do a lot more now and feel comfortable. Skinny.... No that's not what I can shoot for but "normal" is a real goal. And normal centered into reality. Which is perfect in its imperfections.

Very, very true. How did our minds get like this?! Do guys worry about this stuff as much as we do?!

Can't speak for all of the guys, they haven't made me their spokesman, I don't work cheap.

I am part skinny, in the shoulders and biceps, and part hangy-skinny, in the belly and inner thigh area. It is not ideal but it is quite adequate for my purposes. Wife likes me, I look good in clothes and even with my shirt off if I wear my pants high enough to cover my belly button.

If I aspired to pose for the covers of romance novels I would be despondent.

My body is like an old reconditioned Buick with a few dents and rust spots. It isn't perfect but it sure gets me where I want to go.

Would I want to be skinny? No. I want to be healthy and fit and YES I want to wear a bathing suit in public even with shakey inner thigh skin. Had my surgery in Mexico mid July 2013. Down 65lbs. Have 55 pounds to go to where the NUT told me I could easily get down to. But I want that number that I was in high school which is another 30 less. So it means I have 85 pounds to go. Will I be able to get there? And if I do, am I trying to recapture all that I didn't do in high school because I thought I was fat at 5' 7.5" and 145 pounds? Or was I living in my head and thinking of self-limiting behavoir and then acting on it?

To me. this whole journey is to stop the limiting self talk and behavoir and to let myself....just be. Just be who I am truly, out from the layers of protecting fat, and self-conscience behavoir.

Would I want to be skinny? No. I want to be healthy and fit and YES I want to wear a bathing suit in public even with shakey inner thigh skin. Had my surgery in Mexico mid July 2013. Down 65lbs. Have 55 pounds to go to where the NUT told me I could easily get down to. But I want that number that I was in high school which is another 30 less. So it means I have 85 pounds to go. Will I be able to get there? And if I do, am I trying to recapture all that I didn't do in high school because I thought I was fat at 5' 7.5" and 145 pounds? Or was I living in my head and thinking of self-limiting behavoir and then acting on it? To me. this whole journey is to stop the limiting self talk and behavoir and to let myself....just be. Just be who I am truly, out from the layers of protecting fat, and self-conscience behavoir.

Don't you wish someone had just told us in high school they we would likely never be that hot again? and to enjoy the heck out of it?

In fairness my mother did try to tell me and I didn't believe her. Because, you know, I was in high school and thought I knew everything. Sigh.

I'm not trying to simplify because I've debated this issue in my head constantly.

I don't want to be "skinny". At least not what comes to my minds eye when I think of skinny.

I want curves, not angles. I want to be healthy and fit. Feminine, not androgynous.

Given my pear shape I want to take the mASSive out of ass and add the "oooo" to booty. I want to drop the "hippo" but keep some hips. Reduce thunderous thunder in my thighs to a dull roar.

But that's just me.

I am LOLing at "drop the hippo but keep some hips" - CLASSIC!!!

and I agree ... To me skinny is "sick" looking - someone that looks almost anorexic. I want to be healthy. My goal size is between a 10-12. I haven't really set a weight because there's some debate about that, LOL. But the honest truth is, I want to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of how far I've come.

I love this thread! This is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately as I near my "goal". My surgeon did not set a goal for me, just told me statistically I could plan on losing 50-60% of my excess body weight then go from there. Well that would have left me at 200-210lbs. There was no way in hell I was going through all of this to still weigh 200 lbs! So I set my own goal at 160. My weight on my day of surgery was 260. So I wanted to lose 100lbs. I am now at 167 and trying to figure out where I want to be. 157 is the top of the "normal" BMI. But I don't really care about the BMI chart. I also wanted to wear a size 12 because that's the smallest size I can remember wearing. Well now that I'm 167 I can wear a 10 and even get an 8 on and zipped (camel toe alert!). So am I skinny? I thought so when I wore a 20. I still have curves which I want. People say I'm skinny but I don't think so. I still look chubby in pictures (i think, my husband says otherwise) I don't really know where to go from here. I'm ecstatic to have come this far and will be happy if I never lose another pound or inch. But I can't figure out where I want to be and what size/weight/number will get me there.

This is good stuff! The pictures with the body fat percentages were interesting. Right now I am very focused ion achieving my personal goal weight of 145. I am currently in a very comfortable size 8. Since I have been exercising a lot through this process, almost everything looks pretty good for a 42 year old gal. But, my lower abdomen is a train wreck! My breasts are largely gone. Before this surgery, I would have never entertained plastics. Now, I am planning to book a tummy tuck and breast augmentation as my reward for hitting goal! (Feel like humpty-dumpty getting all my goodies put back together again!) I feel healthy now - not skinny. Want my body to look as fantastic as I feel.

I would say that guys worry about this stuff too but we may not dwell on it as much as the ladies. It seems men are much more accepted regardless of how round we are then what women are. It's sad really that image is what most women are judged on first. Men have to overcome image judgement as well but it's no where near what you ladies have to deal with. For us its more about appearing lazy or incapable of completing a task or not able to be competitive in athletics due to heavy weight. I think for women, no definition of skinny will ever be defined. It seems some thin women feel fat and some thick women feel skinny so where to do you even start to make a determination of what skinny is. As long as you're comfortable in your own skin what does it matter what others think. If your healthy and happy that's what matters most. Regardless of how big or small you are, confidence in your appearance is what always seems sexy over actually having a "sexy" body. All of you ladies have chimed in on a women's size. After looking at the pictures gamer so graciously provided us with, I'm curious what the ladies opinion of the perfect size of a man is.