Uh oh. Just got back from DelTaco (8:30pm). Ate dinner at 6 (steak, sauteed mushrooms and broccoli) and wasn't even remotely hungry. Watching tv, hubby says "I want a taco and a burrito from Del Taco" (of course he's just finished 2 beers so I hafta drive). When we were in the drive thru, to his order I added a Crunchtada (a $1 tostoda). Ate about 2/3 of it.

Why? I'm not even hungry...

Am I alone or does anyone else kick themselves after going thru a drive thru?

That's where that little saying comes in..

"They operated on your stomach not your brain"

Face it MOST of of ate out of want, not hunger..

This is the most challenging part of WLS..

Sounds like nights are the worse for you? I say that because of the bed, wine, cereal ritual..

I feel for you, my husband would never drag our asses out of bed to go to a drive through..

You need to talk to him about what kind of support you need from him. And going to

Drive throughs are not it. I don't think I could be that strong if I had an partner like that..

This is what scares me too. My husband is the same way. In the past when I had been dieting he would get sick and tired of the foods I was bringing in the house (healthy foods) and he would say something like "pizza sounds good, how about tonight we order pizza" knowing I can't have it but because he wants it, it ends up sabotaging my efforts to lose weight. It's selfish is what it is and just a few days ago I told him he can't do that anymore and that I really need him in my corner supporting me because I don't have anyone else. See, with him he has always been able to eat whatever he wants and not gain a pound but just in these last 3 years that has changed, he is getting older now (well in his 30's) and his metabolism isn't as awesome anymore. Granted he is still thin but when we started dating 15 years ago he weighed around 130 (really skinny) and now he weighs around 165. A lot has to do with his attitude that he can eat whatever he wants and ain't nobody gonna tell him what he can and can not eat. It's frustrating to say the least. Your husband is suppose to be supporting you in your efforts to lose weight and when he mentions going out to a fast food restaurant (where you have to go with him) then he is putting his own wants before your needs and that's just not right. Recognize it now and nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.

There's another concept here…that is that the only person who can really sabotage your weight loss efforts is you.

I'm the main cook and bottle washer for my family. My husband is appealing a decision by the insurance company against weight loss surgery, but has been a little crazy with the kids since that point.

Look, just because someone orders pizza doesn't mean you have to eat it. Or even stay in the house while they do. Just because your husband wants Del Taco at 8 doesn't mean you have to drive him there. And yes, I TOTALLY get that you don't want him driving impaired. On the other hand, you're not the boss of him. If you see the first 2-3 pages of the Enabling thread, before it jumps the shark, these behaviors are what got us all to the point of WLS.

There's nothing that is harder at first than saying no to the people you love. My husband in particular is a pouter if everything is not just so. He also pouts that I have "gotten a jump on him" in WLS, and complains about how unfair it is. But I refuse to let that influence me off the path I have chosen.

Marfar, I know you're working through all this. But saying no to yourself is also important. Substitute! Make the drive but don't order something. Or, have your excuse ready and stick to your guns. The other night I was asked by a bunch of friends to go out and have a drink. I was just recently cleared for alcohol in very small amounts and I really enjoy the odd cocktail here or there. But I hadn't had a drink yet since surgery and I knew it wouldn't be putting me in an ideal situation. I said no, but it wasn't easy because I got the whole, "Oh, come on! One drink with us. It'll be fun! You've worked so hard." It's like they were the voices in my head. But I left. And it really wasn't hard to not have a drink when I was home and in a situation that I control. You know?

I know it sucks to be in a situation that you need to weigh the long term outcome vs the short term "benefits" but it is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised in order for it to work properly. We fatties are brilliant at ignoring the long term in favor of gratification. But we can change. And unfortunately, that change often needs to happen in spite of what is going on around us, or who supports us.

There's another concept here…that is that the only person who can really sabotage your weight loss efforts is you.

I'm the main cook and bottle washer for my family. My husband is appealing a decision by the insurance company against weight loss surgery, but has been a little crazy with the kids since that point.

Look, just because someone orders pizza doesn't mean you have to eat it. Or even stay in the house while they do. Just because your husband wants Del Taco at 8 doesn't mean you have to drive him there. And yes, I TOTALLY get that you don't want him driving impaired. On the other hand, you're not the boss of him. If you see the first 2-3 pages of the Enabling thread, before it jumps the shark, these behaviors are what got us all to the point of WLS.

There's nothing that is harder at first than saying no to the people you love. My husband in particular is a pouter if everything is not just so. He also pouts that I have "gotten a jump on him" in WLS, and complains about how unfair it is. But I refuse to let that influence me off the path I have chosen.

Marfar, I know you're working through all this. But saying no to yourself is also important. Substitute! Make the drive but don't order something. Or, have your excuse ready and stick to your guns. The other night I was asked by a bunch of friends to go out and have a drink. I was just recently cleared for alcohol in very small amounts and I really enjoy the odd cocktail here or there. But I hadn't had a drink yet since surgery and I knew it wouldn't be putting me in an ideal situation. I said no, but it wasn't easy because I got the whole, "Oh, come on! One drink with us. It'll be fun! You've worked so hard." It's like they were the voices in my head. But I left. And it really wasn't hard to not have a drink when I was home and in a situation that I control. You know?

I know it sucks to be in a situation that you need to weigh the long term outcome vs the short term "benefits" but it is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised in order for it to work properly. We fatties are brilliant at ignoring the long term in favor of gratification. But we can change. And unfortunately, that change often needs to happen in spite of what is going on around us, or who supports us.

Perfectly said!

Uh oh. Just got back from DelTaco (8:30pm). Ate dinner at 6 (steak, sauteed mushrooms and broccoli) and wasn't even remotely hungry. Watching tv, hubby says "I want a taco and a burrito from Del Taco" (of course he's just finished 2 beers so I hafta drive). When we were in the drive thru, to his order I added a Crunchtada (a $1 tostoda). Ate about 2/3 of it.

Why? I'm not even hungry...

Am I alone or does anyone else kick themselves after going thru a drive thru?

I practice saying no to my family with fast foods. They want to go buy fast food, then they can, I myself will not do it. I know that the food at fast food places are total cr** and I don't want to slip into my addiction of food.....I am working on eating clean. I do say no to fast foods or will find something that's healthy if I'm really crazed......I do say no to getting up and chasing down a head hunger that I may have or my family.....it's hard and I have felt guilty in the past....but no more.....

I did have a craving for a Taco Bell taco about 6 weeks post op. I bought one and was shocked that the stupid taco was over $1 and when I actually took a bite. It was horrible.....the shell was stale and dry, and not much of anything in it. I have never had another thought about fast food since. I am appalled at it now. My adult children love to eat out all the time and I'm watching them gain weight from it too. They know it, but still can't stop buying it. It really saddens me to the core, but it's their choice and I have no control over that..... So for the rambling........

Great thread.

Fucked no is an acceptable response...

There's another concept here…that is that the only person who can really sabotage your weight loss efforts is you.

I'm the main cook and bottle washer for my family. My husband is appealing a decision by the insurance company against weight loss surgery, but has been a little crazy with the kids since that point.

Look, just because someone orders pizza doesn't mean you have to eat it. Or even stay in the house while they do. Just because your husband wants Del Taco at 8 doesn't mean you have to drive him there. And yes, I TOTALLY get that you don't want him driving impaired. On the other hand, you're not the boss of him. If you see the first 2-3 pages of the Enabling thread, before it jumps the shark, these behaviors are what got us all to the point of WLS.

There's nothing that is harder at first than saying no to the people you love. My husband in particular is a pouter if everything is not just so. He also pouts that I have "gotten a jump on him" in WLS, and complains about how unfair it is. But I refuse to let that influence me off the path I have chosen.

Marfar, I know you're working through all this. But saying no to yourself is also important. Substitute! Make the drive but don't order something. Or, have your excuse ready and stick to your guns. The other night I was asked by a bunch of friends to go out and have a drink. I was just recently cleared for alcohol in very small amounts and I really enjoy the odd cocktail here or there. But I hadn't had a drink yet since surgery and I knew it wouldn't be putting me in an ideal situation. I said no, but it wasn't easy because I got the whole, "Oh, come on! One drink with us. It'll be fun! You've worked so hard." It's like they were the voices in my head. But I left. And it really wasn't hard to not have a drink when I was home and in a situation that I control. You know?

I know it sucks to be in a situation that you need to weigh the long term outcome vs the short term "benefits" but it is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised in order for it to work properly. We fatties are brilliant at ignoring the long term in favor of gratification. But we can change. And unfortunately, that change often needs to happen in spite of what is going on around us, or who supports us.

I guess you can say I'm weak and he knows this so he preying on my weakness, especially when some time has passed and i'm most vulnerable because of extreme irritability from not being allowed to eat foods that I do enjoy. I'm working on that, I am, but I still need him to *support* me, not break me down.