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Surgery by Association- trying to support my daughter's decision



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HI, My name is J-

About a year ago, my oldest daughter, at age 22 came to the decision that she needed to get healthy. Steadily having gained weight since high school athletics ended, she was a beautiful, spunky, world traveler who had desires to get married, raise a family and enter the next phase in her life. One thing held her back, her size. Without coming right out and saying it, we all knew what she meant. I had lost about 30 lbs my Senior year and could relate to wanting that acceptance and having someone think you were beautiful (that you weren't related to). I told her I would go to the 6 months of nutrition classes with her and be a support so she didn't have to go by herself. I had gained a considerable amount of weight in the last 20+ years of marriage but I was ok with it. I had high blood pressure, took anti anxiety medication and had reduced energy, but attributed it to my hectic work/home life. 6 mos. after the nutrition classes, my daughter was told she was not approved by the insurance because she did not have a co-morbidity. This was a new term to me which meant that she had no underlying conditions that had been diagnosed like diabetes, sleep apnea or high blood pressure, she was just overweight. She was devastated. I, on the other hand was approved to move forward with the process ue to my HBP. I struggled with this decision but still not thinking I was actually going through with it, I just went through the motions of the psych, the endocrinologist, the sleep study, believing she would be reclassified and begin her journey again. Fast forward to August of this year. I began to think more seriously about the procedure and what effects it would have on myself and my family. I made my first apt. with my surgeon, Dr. David Suh, and listened to his recommendation that indeed I go through with it and the lifestyle changes I would have to commit to. I went home in a fog, still unsure about this. 3 days later they called back and told me the insurance had finally approved my case and they could do the surgery that Friday. WHAT!? Was I ready, was my family ready? I still look back on those three days like a dream, but knowing I would be the best help to my daughter if I could pave the way, and be an example, so that I could understand what she needed when her time came. As of today, she has finally been diagnosed with sleep apnea, seen the endocrinologist and is awaiting the go ahead approval from the insurance co to see additional specialists that are pat of the evaluation. My advice to her, is the same to any of you struggling with clearance or having insurance troubles- don't give up! We used the appeals process with Anthem Blue Cross to have her case reviewed after her denial letter and that is how she was able to have the sleep study done which has given her hope. Make small changes now so it won't be so extreme, it will happen faster than you will expect. Thanks for reading

-J

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You are a super parent! I will never forget your story. Best of luck to both! I always tell my children nevrr to give up. One door may close but soon after another will open.

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Good luck to both of you! Hope your daughter gets her approval soon!

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