My son called for his daily chat, a time I really look forward to. He says, "How was your day?"

Well I've had a lovely day. I got to go into the office, work with a team of 6 very smart people, we all got some great thinking and work done. I was able to join them in the lunch I ordered for us, and I've extremely been productive all day. What were the first words out of my mouth in response to my son's question?

"Well, I'm still stalled."

WTH?? That's all I can think of to tell him about my day?? So he's a very insightful smarty-pants and he says to me, "Mom it was one thing to rely on the scale when you could say 'oh maybe I should cut down a bit tomorrow' and use the scale to monitor and adjust your eating habits. But really, what role does the scale play in your life now??"

For a change, I was speechless. Well he wasn't about to stop there. He carries on saying,

"Maybe you should ask yourself if it's healthy to let what you see on a scale determine your feelings of success for the day? After all you're doing what you need to, and you told me you were going to focus on process vs. the outcome. Would anything change in your process if you just threw away the scale for 3 months?"

No of course it wouldn't but can i throw away the scale for 3 months? I cannot. Why? Because maybe I'm sick in the head and I associate my self-worth with success or failure at pounds lost. Not what I do to succeed, but whether the scale says I've lost weight today.

Unlike a lot of people here, over the last few years i could NOT lose weight. I could control my calories, my cardio-vascular health, what I put in my mouth, but I couldn't control my weight. Yet I continued to judge myself by my ability to lose weight. Not by my ability to do what was healthy, but whether or not I could lose weight. I may have been sleeved, but apparently that way of judging myself still persists.

So really, I ask all of you.... if we are eating our Protein, drinking our Water, and exercising to the degree that we can, what role does or should the scale play in our lives when we're trying to lose weight? Should we not focus on the process, monitor the crap out of the protein and water and calories, and let the scale go off on a long hike to TImbuktoo? And can you do that? Why not?

what do you think?

(Note, I'm in the dreaded 3-week stall, I know this, I accept it, so it's not about the stall. It's about how we judge ourselves by using criteria or outcomes that are outside of our control).

Your son is very insightful. Good job raising him.

Your son is very insightful. Good job raising him.

Thank you! He's 23 now, but this is the same kid that at 14 forced me to start dating again. I told him I wasn't missing anything in my life and he said "I think dating is about finding someone who can ADD something to your life, not to fill a gap." How can you disagree? I had no choice but to start dating

Your son has a brain and he uses it - awesome parenting job!

I do let the scale have some control over how successful I'm feeling, but I know that I'm trending down, even if sometimes it's slower than I prefer.

I think the daily weighing is a habit more than anything else, and we've given up so many habits that were bad for us in this sleeve journey, why not give up one more for a week? As the wise child said, it's not like you can eat less if the scale gives you news you don't like.

Lisa

I still weigh myself every day. My first stop after the bathroom is the scale. If the scale moves, I'm a happy girl. If it stays the same, I'm disappointed. If it's up, I'm bummed. Now I know weight loss is not linear. There are going to be ups and downs depending on many different variables. I wish it didn't have so much power over me. The anxiety would be overwhelming if I put the scale away and only took it out once a week. The positive thing is it keeps me focused.

I spent this weekend at my Boyfriend's house. At home on Saturday AM I weighed 179. At his house Sunday AM I was 177.2, Monday AM I was 176.8. I was thrilled... (even though I knew I was weighing on a different scale). Tuesday morning, back home on my own scale I was 178. I was really disappointed. Not only because my scale read differently than Ed's., but because I was so careful all weekend, tracked everything and met all my nutritional goals, and was only down 1 pound. Oh well.... we'll see what it tells me in the morning. Peace out....

I still weigh myself every day. My first stop after the bathroom is the scale. If the scale moves' date=' I'm a happy girl. If it stays the same, I'm disappointed. If it's up, I'm bummed. Now I know weight loss is not linear. There are going to be ups and downs depending on many different variables. I wish it didn't have so much power over me. The anxiety would be overwhelming if I put the scale away and only took it out once a week. The positive thing is it keeps me focused.

I spent this weekend at my Boyfriend's house. At home on Saturday AM I weighed 179. At his house Sunday AM I was 177.2, Monday AM I was 176.8. I was thrilled... (even though I knew I was weighing on a different scale). Tuesday morning, back home on my own scale I was 178. I was really disappointed. Not only because my scale read differently than Ed's., but because I was so careful all weekend, tracked everything and met all my nutritional goals, and was only down 1 pound. Oh well.... we'll see what it tells me in the morning. Peace out....[/quote']

Are you stalled Amy? R. and I are, and it's just about right on schedule for all of us.

I really don't know why the thought of putting the scale away makes me want to break out in hives.

The scale has made me its b*tch

I weigh multiple times per day

All I could say to those beautiful insightful words are THANK YOU.

I am 18 months out and I still weigh almost every day. I have always been fixated on the pounds. At surgical goal I was a size 10. (5'9) but the scale still said I was overweight so I lost another 20#. Now I'm as small as a 4/6 and you can see every bone I have. According to the scale I could lose another 25# and still be "normal weight"; according to the mirror I'd be a walking corpse. The scale really shouldn't play such a large roll in our lives, but we all know it always will. Success to our doctors and society will always be based on the number of pounds lost/number on the scale and not by how we feel.

I am 18 months out and I still weigh almost every day. I have always been fixated on the pounds. At surgical goal I was a size 10. (5'9) but the scale still said I was overweight so I lost another 20#. Now I'm as small as a 4/6 and you can see every bone I have. According to the scale I could lose another 25# and still be "normal weight"; according to the mirror I'd be a walking corpse. The scale really shouldn't play such a large roll in our lives' date=' but we all know it always will. Success to our doctors and society will always be based on the number of pounds lost/number on the scale and not by how we feel.[/quote']

You are so right. I can't wait for the day I judge my body, not on the scale, but on what it accomplished today.

I've vowed to never be a slave to the scale again. I lived a life where my career and how people viewed me was based on my weight height and body fat. I'm three months out and have yet to step on a scale.

BTW...You've raised a great young man

I've vowed to never be a slave to the scale again. I lived a life where my career and how people viewed me was based on my weight height and body fat. I'm three months out and have yet to step on a scale.

BTW...You've raised a great young man

You haven't stepped on the scale in 3 months? You are my new hero! Seriously? Not once? Help me. Help me get there. Tell me your secret. My big achievement was that I now weigh only once a day. I was quite proud of myself for such self-restraint.

When I was in the hospital getting sleeved I swore I wouldn't get on the scale until my two week post op appt. ha! I get on every single morning. Well, I skipped one morning and actually felt nervous, like, the pounds were going to magically creep up bc I didn't keep them in check. I like your son's insight. I also like the NSVs that people report bc those are what we should all be the most proud of.

I don't own a scale, The only place I weigh is at the doctor's office.

Having a scale that takes batteries is a big help. Batteries died a few years ago and I never replaced them. I was scared/afraid of the scale for a while. So I never hopped on! Sometimes I wonder what my numbers are, but I'm obviously losing. One or two pounds won't make or break me.

Having a scale that takes batteries is a big help. Batteries died a few years ago and I never replaced them. I was scared/afraid of the scale for a while. So I never hopped on! Sometimes I wonder what my numbers are, but I'm obviously losing. One or two pounds won't make or break me.

I saw your post on 4-5 belt notches! that's a good way to know for sure. Good for you!