female only Reaction From The Men In Your Life

[Anikabebe620 0]

I'm one of those people that has told everyone I having WLS. My thought behind it was that I will need the support of all my friends, family and coworkers ( I am see them more than anyone). All my girl besties, family members and coworkers are so excited and amazing. The men in my life not so much. My dad isn't for it. My guy bestie says to me all the time but you can do it on your own. My other guy friends have kinda the same response. I just find it amazing the difference in reaction.

What has y'all's reaction been? I know they are just worried. I guess it's a man thing. I tell them just be happy for me and after the surgery is over I am sure they will be.....or so I hope!

[thehappycat 91]

Don't worry too much about other people's reactions. My mom was dead set against me getting the surgery, but after I got it done and I started losing weight and being healthier she admitted that it was probably the right thing for me to do. Some people are going to be supportive, others won't be. Just the way it works.

I didn't notice a gender divide between those who were supportive and those who weren't. But when it comes down to it, you have to do what's right for you and no one knows that better than you do.

[stacechase 251]

Well, I don't have a lot of men in my life, hahah...however, I don't think my dad is too pleased with my decision. I know he loves me to death, and I think he just sees me as beautiful as I am, and doesn't understand my need to have such a drastic surgery. I discussed this with my mom, and she said that she hasn't talked about my surgery much with my dad, but she make a good point: he's always been really thin, and can eat whatever he wants. She noted that often, people like that have no idea what it's like to have a life-long struggle with weight, so they probably wouldn't understand the desire for the surgery.

Other than my dad, I have had a few close male friends who were more concerned for my safety (and loved eating big meals with me, LOL) that seemed a bit down, but they were still supportive and want me to be happy. I do think there's a difference in the reactions of my girl friends and my guy friends about my decision for sure!

[Brighteyes 237]

I'm one of those people that has told everyone I having WLS. My thought behind it was that I will need the support of all my friends' date=' family and coworkers ( I am see them more than anyone). All my girl besties, family members and coworkers are so excited and amazing. The men in my life not so much. My dad isn't for it. My guy bestie says to me all the time but you can do it on your own. My other guy friends have kinda the same response. I just find it amazing the difference in reaction.

What has y'all's reaction been? I know they are just worried. I guess it's a man thing. I tell them just be happy for me and after the surgery is over I am sure they will be.....or so I hope![/quote']

I have had a slightly different experience. All my co-workers are army soldiers, Infantry types, who are for the most part in really great shape (considering they just returned from patrolling the mountains in Afghanistan they have to be). I am one of a handful of females that works with 900+ guys. The few co-workers I have told have been nothing but supportive and have expressed their excitement over me getting back in shape. I think that because physical fitness is so essential to these guys lives that they understand my desire to make big changes. I am excited to reset my life! Sleeving in a couple weeks!

[Missylaneous 27]

My husband has always been fit and active. He works 10+ hours on his feet all day, just finished 3 seasons of ice hockey as captain, plays golf, and runs with the dogs. He's 6'1 and seems to have boundless energy. We have been together since we were 16 and now at 27 I am fortunate that he has loved me and accepted me even though I have doubled my weight. For the longest time, he was not supportive. He wasn't mean. He just told me to keep trying with diet and exercise. 4 years ago I considered RNY or lap band. He went to a seminar with me and came out of it even more against it. Since then I've gained 50 pounds. When I was diagnosed with PCOS I tried to explain to him that I needed help and all my doctors wanted me to have this surgery for my health and fertility. After all the ER visits, the D&C, the exploratory hysteroscopy, not being able to get pregnant, and my horrible body issues---he's on board. He told me the root of it all he was scared for me and didn't want anything to happen to me during major surgery. He also admitted he's never had a weight issue and doesn't understand why weight won't come off for everyone like it does for him.

But he's the only man in my life who knows---it has been a roller coaster--but I'm glad he eventually came around and saw the light!

[zenandnow 514]

I have had a slightly different experience. All my co-workers are army soldiers, Infantry types, who are for the most part in really great shape (considering they just returned from patrolling the mountains in Afghanistan they have to be). I am one of a handful of females that works with 900+ guys. The few co-workers I have told have been nothing but supportive and have expressed their excitement over me getting back in shape. I think that because physical fitness is so essential to these guys lives that they understand my desire to make big changes. I am excited to reset my life! Sleeving in a couple weeks!

That's really cool, Brighteyes! I can't think of a better group of people to get support from than those that truly rely on their fitness level being optimal. And I bet those guys really know how to exercise! You'll be keeping up with them in no time!

[ScottsGirl 106]

My boyfriend was totally for it! He watched me struggle after a 60lb weight loss that I did on my own; I just completely plateaued for a couple years after that. It may have had something to do with chronic sciatic nerve pain, but all that pain is GONE!

Some ppl will say it's extreme, but it's your life and your decision, and if they truly care, they should be supportive of whatever you decide ... regardless of their opinion.

[marfar7 1,528]

I have had a slightly different experience. All my co-workers are army soldiers, Infantry types, who are for the most part in really great shape (considering they just returned from patrolling the mountains in Afghanistan they have to be). I am one of a handful of females that works with 900+ guys. The few co-workers I have told have been nothing but supportive and have expressed their excitement over me getting back in shape. I think that because physical fitness is so essential to these guys lives that they understand my desire to make big changes. I am excited to reset my life! Sleeving in a couple weeks!

I'm disabled retired Army and the men I served with were all fit and could eat about 6,000 calories a day and never see a change in their scale. While there were a few of us overweight in my platoon, they were ALL women. They call the Army weightloss program "The Fat-Mans Programs", but it's truly for women.

When I served I was nowhere near the weight thats required for wls. How are you staying in (in my day - retired in 2000) you got honorably discharged if your weight wasn't met, you weren't trying to lose and it went on for more than 1 year. I was chubby, but not at the weight required to even qualify for the program, but I saw many a female soldier booted out of the Army because of their inability to lose weight in the right timeframe.

Just wondering how you're doing it? managing to stay in and serve?

Oh, and no offense intended. Just wondering the facts....

[Brighteyes 237]

That's really cool' date=' Brighteyes! I can't think of a better group of people to get support from than those that truly rely on their fitness level being optimal. And I bet those guys really know how to exercise! You'll be keeping up with them in no time![/quote']

They have already challenged me to a fitness goal. I am eager to meet it! Fitness for them is life or death, in a manner of speaking. I love my work. I just keep thinking I will be that much better at it when I am more fit. I truly care for the guys i work for. Thanks for the encouragement!

[thebean 12]

My dad is all for it since he has seen me and all my weight struggles throughout my life. My husband however thinks its just taking the easy way out. He will support me but insists I can do it on my own. He's had a weight issue part of his life but if he watches what he eats and exercises, it comes off. He will never get it. Last night he told me he's afraid that he won't find me attractive anymore because he may look at me as weak for getting the surgery. Well guess what honey, it's not about you, it's about me! I know I need it to take control of my health.

[Brighteyes 237]

I'm disabled retired Army and the men I served with were all fit and could eat about 6' date='000 calories a day and never see a change in their scale. While there were a few of us overweight in my platoon, they were ALL women. They call the Army weightloss program "The Fat-Mans Programs", but it's truly for women.

When I served I was nowhere near the weight thats required for wls. How are you staying in (in my day - retired in 2000) you got honorably discharged if your weight wasn't met, you weren't trying to lose and it went on for more than 1 year. I was chubby, but not at the weight required to even qualify for the program, but I saw many a female soldier booted out of the Army because of their inability to lose weight in the right timeframe.

Just wondering how you're doing it? managing to stay in and serve?

Oh, and no offense intended. Just wondering the facts....[/quote']

I actually work federal service and am embedded with them. No offense...I would be wondering the same thing as you. If you are military they still are enforcing weight standards.

[Brighteyes 237]

My husband has always been fit and active. He works 10+ hours on his feet all day' date=' just finished 3 seasons of ice hockey as captain, plays golf, and runs with the dogs. He's 6'1 and seems to have boundless energy. We have been together since we were 16 and now at 27 I am fortunate that he has loved me and accepted me even though I have doubled my weight. For the longest time, he was not supportive. He wasn't mean. He just told me to keep trying with diet and exercise. 4 years ago I considered RNY or lap band. He went to a seminar with me and came out of it even more against it. Since then I've gained 50 pounds. When I was diagnosed with PCOS I tried to explain to him that I needed help and all my doctors wanted me to have this surgery for my health and fertility. After all the ER visits, the D&C, the exploratory hysteroscopy, not being able to get pregnant, and my horrible body issues---he's on board. He told me the root of it all he was scared for me and didn't want anything to happen to me during major surgery. He also admitted he's never had a weight issue and doesn't understand why weight won't come off for everyone like it does for him.

But he's the only man in my life who knows---it has been a roller coaster--but I'm glad he eventually came around and saw the light![/quote']

I am glad you have that support. I am not married, so my experience has been a little different.

[back2barb78 890]

Supportive of me- not so supportive of my choice.

My father saw me previously lose 100lbs on my own busting my butt in the gym and walking. At the time I had a very physical job as well where I was walking, lifting boxes,etc.- so I literally was working out about 35 hours at work (40 hours minus breaks) and 10-20 additional hours on my own walking and weight training. The weight fell off and it was easy and took about 5-6 months. My dad said "why can't you just do what you did before?"

Then my significant other says to do it the old fashioned way. Uh... we are both overweight and always talking about what we're "going to do" but haven't done it yet. He told me he does not agree with the way that I am doing this and definitely doesn't want me to have WLS. It doesn't help that his mother had WLS years ago and has since gained the weight back and is having an issue with her stomach that he hasn't clearly explained to me.

What I do know is when I was smaller, they both had nothing but good things to say and my boyfriend couldn't/wouldn't keep his hands off me (not that that's changed a whole lot but it was way worse). They've both accepted my choice and will support me along the way. My father will be there with me for my surgery as well as my mother. He told me that if we get there and he doesn't like what's happening, he's going to say "let's get the sh#t out of here!" BTW, I thought the saying was get the he!l out of here- but whatever you say, dad. Boyfriend won't be there due to work and I wasn't going to postpone this the one month I would have to just so he can be there. This surgery is for me- and the most important thing is that I SHOW UP!

[Indigo1991 1,612]

My then 21 year old son's reaction blew me away - he told me that only I knew the difference wls would make to me and if I had decided it was what I needed, then that was good enough for him (He then looked after me first two weeks post op with maturity far beyond his years, still get emotional thinking about it)

Only told ex the night before so that son had support in case there was a problem. Was underwhelmed by his reaction which was along the lines of "well if u think it will work but...." That's why he is an ex, lol!!!!.

[JellyBean2012 23]

I haven't told everyone but when I just told my parents my mom was like ok cool and just has a lack of concentration to focus on one subject for two long but my dad was very involved and had a million questions even down to what will happen with the extra skin and can I have any more kids. Regardless they are both supportive! I don't tell people who I'm unsure of there results.