I think I have a problem....

[PaperBullets 53]

Okay, so a month ago I had surgery and had no real complications other than a tendancy to get dehydrated and a MUCH more reduced intake than what seems to be normal based on this forum (my surgeon bosted that he was very agressive with this surgery and he took a good 90% our). My starting weight was 223 and my day of surgery weight was 215. As of two days ago I met my doctor's set goal of 145! So that's all kinds of awesome even though I do have about 25 more to go to meet my own personal wish/goal.

But...

I can't seem to eat enough or get enough calories. I was one of those that woke up from the sugery that left the hunger feeling on the OR table and that hasn't changed although I have learned when I'm "empty." It's not that it hurts to eat (most things) or even the amount of food as I can almost do a 1/2 a cup now if I really take my time. It's that I just have zero interest in eating. I get the least little bit involved in something and then hours would have passed.

My biggest fear is my turning aneorexic. When I do notice my empty feeling it's like I want to see how far I can go if that makes any sense. I can go almost 2 full days with little more than one of those Chobani Greek yogurts and my ever present Crystal Lite before starting to hate myself and forcing myself to eat. Always before I was constantly hungry so for me to not be is facinating. But I know rationally that I can't live off of 300/400 calories a day without serious medical issues forming. I just don't know how to really stop this. Occasionally I can force myself to eat more calories and I do feel better and it ends up with me going from losing a few ounces a day to a pound or two which is always good but I can't keep it up.

I'm not in a financial position at the moment to go to therapy although that's on my check list - my psych eval at the time did say that I was at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder which is why I'm freaking out right now. What's something I can do to snap myself out of this? Every day I tell myself that I'm going to do better but I'm just so afraid of sliding back to the way I was before. And it's stupid because I'm not living like I'm on a diet here. My NUT has "forbidden" me to eat things that are sugar or fat free or otherwise "diet." But I'm seriously doubting that she'd be fine with what I did yesterday which was eat 2 cups of watermelon and a 1/4 a cup mashed potatoes.

I don't want to be one of those walking skeletons with the hanging skin. I look healthy right now and don't want to be all sallow and have my hair to start to fall out again (it only just now stopped the major shedding!). I had this surgery to become healthy and happy. I don't want to go to the oposite extreme. If anyone has any suggestions I'd greatly, greatly appreciate this. ~sigh~

[Poolguard 55]

Acascuse me? did you say you lost 70 pounds in a month?

[ShrinkyDinkMe101 82]

You got to goal weight in a month?! I would talk to your doctor immediately.

[Ballermom 803]

Um ok. Wow!

[ShrinkyDinkMe101 82]

You need to eat your protein! I'm supposed to get between 60-80 grams a day.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

70 pounds in a month? I've been at it for four months including pro op and have only lost 66 and I'm doing great, IMO!

What does your doc say?

[A_New_Lily 39]

"I can go almost 2 full days with little more than one of those Chobani Greek yogurts and my ever present Crystal Lite"

Umm...You are starving yourself.

[tigerbelle 328]

The advice to consult your dr asap is good...I have never heard of anyone at one month post-op losing 79 lbs....I understand that you recognize this is a serious issue, but I don't think anyone on the message board is going to be able to truly and safely advise you...we can provide support and encouragement in this case but not sound medical or therapeutic advice

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Back the bus up! You stated you had surgery a month ago, but according to your profile, your surgery was March 18. What smells weird here?

[SuzyB 182]

You need to eat more. You need to schedule high Protein meals and eat them. I would talk to your surgeon to see if they can help you find a therapist that you can afford to get a grip on why you do this. For now eat on a schedule rather you want to or not

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

PaperBullets

OP - don't get in a "tizzy"

surgery wasn't a month ago

i think PaperBullets meant to say WLS was 3/18/13

(per profile)

5 month weight loss 79 lbs terrific

keep up the good work

kathy

congrats

[Macy6 356]

Back the bus up! You stated you had surgery a month ago' date=' but according to your profile, your surgery was March 18. What smells weird here?[/quote']

Yeah according to past topics OP was sleeved 3/18. Typo..... I guess.

[PaperBullets 53]

Oh I'm sorry! I could have sworn I'd proofread my initial post well enough. No, I was sleeved on 3/18 which makes me 5months, 1 day post op. Believe me, I'd be in the ER right now had I lost so much in a single month! o_O It serves me right for looking like an idiot in my first post for starting and stopping several times writing the initial post and not realizing I'd not retyped the beginning properly.

I'm aware that I'm starving myself and have started trying to use a timer to remind me to eat every few hours but that only works if I can choke things down - that's how I can occasionally bump up my caloric intake. I'm having some troubles with my Protein - are others having issues with eating things like chicken and turkey? Sometimes I don't have a problem at all but others...ugh. Yogurt is my go-to but I'm typically at about 30g a day. I'm on handfuls (it seams) of Vitamins so I don't think I'm too nutritionally off. It's primarily the low calories and my complete disinterest bordering on apathy towards eating I'm worried about. It's like I don't even like to chew things anymore and there's just no point in eating. Which is stupid, I know. :/

Has using a timer/alarm actually helped anyone with their eating? I feel like such a fool for needing to do this. I may have been hungry all the time and could eat a Water buffalo in one seating before my surgery but at least then I wasn't constantly eating or thinking about having to eat. I don't regret this surgery exactly but I'm certainly not happy with it at the moment!

[gamergirl 4,609]

Do you have a friend who can help you? My husband and I were sleeved together and we are the food police for each other. We set our clocks and eat at 7-11-3-7 pm whether we're hungry or not. Most often were not hungry and left to myself, if likely blow it off. But we keep each other on track. Wondering if you can buddy up with someone and ask for their help right now to get you on a schedule?

From my last experience of starving myself, I suspect you will feel ill after eating more for a while, but after a few days, your body will start to demand fuel at those set times. For the first few days, you may have to adopt a "it's not food, it's medicine" mindset.

I got sick last year and stopped eating and my husband YELLED at me and threatened to not eat if I didn't. I was so mad at him! I felt like he had NO idea what I was feeling. Food made me sick! But he likely saved my life.

I feel maybe you need a friend who cares for you and will offer tough love

[Jen35 283]

My therapist has warned me about possible eating disorders on the other end of the spectrum. Most of us already had disordered eating (eating too much) so the tendency is there to go the other way (eating too little). Hopefully you get your appetite back (I did!) and it will get easier. Until then, since you know this is an issue, you should probably schedule your meals. Maybe every 3-4 hours and plan them out. Think of food as medicine for your body - you need it to heal and function properly. I would also start reading up on anorexia recovery until you can get to a therapist.