Okay, so a month ago I had surgery and had no real complications other than a tendancy to get dehydrated and a MUCH more reduced intake than what seems to be normal based on this forum (my surgeon bosted that he was very agressive with this surgery and he took a good 90% our). My starting weight was 223 and my day of surgery weight was 215. As of two days ago I met my doctor's set goal of 145! So that's all kinds of awesome even though I do have about 25 more to go to meet my own personal wish/goal.

But...

I can't seem to eat enough or get enough calories. I was one of those that woke up from the sugery that left the hunger feeling on the OR table and that hasn't changed although I have learned when I'm "empty." It's not that it hurts to eat (most things) or even the amount of food as I can almost do a 1/2 a cup now if I really take my time. It's that I just have zero interest in eating. I get the least little bit involved in something and then hours would have passed.

My biggest fear is my turning aneorexic. When I do notice my empty feeling it's like I want to see how far I can go if that makes any sense. I can go almost 2 full days with little more than one of those Chobani Greek yogurts and my ever present Crystal Lite before starting to hate myself and forcing myself to eat. Always before I was constantly hungry so for me to not be is facinating. But I know rationally that I can't live off of 300/400 calories a day without serious medical issues forming. I just don't know how to really stop this. Occasionally I can force myself to eat more calories and I do feel better and it ends up with me going from losing a few ounces a day to a pound or two which is always good but I can't keep it up.

I'm not in a financial position at the moment to go to therapy although that's on my check list - my psych eval at the time did say that I was at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder which is why I'm freaking out right now. What's something I can do to snap myself out of this? Every day I tell myself that I'm going to do better but I'm just so afraid of sliding back to the way I was before. And it's stupid because I'm not living like I'm on a diet here. My NUT has "forbidden" me to eat things that are sugar or fat free or otherwise "diet." But I'm seriously doubting that she'd be fine with what I did yesterday which was eat 2 cups of watermelon and a 1/4 a cup mashed potatoes.

I don't want to be one of those walking skeletons with the hanging skin. I look healthy right now and don't want to be all sallow and have my hair to start to fall out again (it only just now stopped the major shedding!). I had this surgery to become healthy and happy. I don't want to go to the oposite extreme. If anyone has any suggestions I'd greatly, greatly appreciate this. ~sigh~

PaperBullets

sorry you are having this problem, not getting enough calories, Protein, maybe drink too???

doesn't sound like you are having any trouble holding/keeping food down, right???

even if you don't want to eat, lack of desire et al..............you know you must eat more calories for health reasons

gotta "force" yourself for your own good

you should talk to your NUT

Possibly if you reach out to her, explaining your issues - she might be able to help you with your situation

weighing 145 lbs - losing 77 lbs

that looks like a good weight

but i agree that you can't afford to lose too much more weight

good luck

kathy

Oh! I throw in a tablespoon of peanut butter every once in awhile, too, if I am really low on calories and fat. I do love peanut butter!

My recommendation is to eat on a schedule and towards a specific goal every day. Choose foods that will get you there. Plan out what you will eat the day before. Even if you don't get there, at least you have a plan and goals you are working towards.

Write a letter to yourself. Tell yourself where you would like to be next year. At what weight? Doing what types of activities? How about 5 years from now? Ten years from now? It doesn't have to be long. Just set a timer for 5 minutes and start writing.

The Fage Total Plan yogurt has 190 calories per cup and 18 grams of Protein. Try it in a shake, with a splash of orange juice, a couple of frozen strawberries, a bigger splash of Water and sugar to taste. Early out I had this for Breakfast almost every day. It goes down easy.

For meats later in the day, try lunch meats, which are a bit easier and less dense than chicken breast, pork, or beef.

Here are some food and drink ideas;

Starbucks Tall Latte Coffee: 180 calories, 10 grams protein

Fage Yogurt Shake with two tablespoons of sugar: 300 calories, 18 grams of protein

1/2 C. Dennison Chili Con Carne: 175 calories, 11 grams of protein

1 C. Anderson Split Pea Soup: 140 calories, 9 grams of protein

2 oz. oil packed tuna: 110 calories, 16 grams of protein

Healthier fats:

2 T. Peanut Butter: 188 calories

1/2 avocado (about 3 oz.) 160 calories