Hey y'all. Sarah here. I was active on the boards until about a year ago...now I'm BACK! I am a 30 year old retirement planner, living the dream in the SF Bay Area.

Oh wait- almost living the dream- first I need to take off this 160 lb fat suit I've been dragging around the last 7 years.

See, I've always been fluffy, voluptuous, "a big girl". Still, I was ususally happy with who I was and how I looked. It wasn't until I broke up with my college boyfriend of 4 years at age 23-24, that I started gaining serious weight. I was about 170 back then, and had always worn a size 12 or 14...now I'm a 22. I just started eating to deal with the serious depression, then I would get more depressed because of the way my clothes stopped fitting, and thus began the ugly cycle that I've been in since 2006. At this point, I'm in treatment for depression (for WAY more issues than just the weight) and luckily, over the last 3 years, my depression has become manageable. It still rears its ugly head once in a while, but I can handle it now. The meds have really worked. I KNOW that WLS isn't a cure-all, but I also know in my heart of hearts that if I wasn't super-morbidly-obese, I would be loving life a lot more. Just ask anyone who has lost weight and kept it off. ANYONE. I also have co-morbidities: carpal tunnel syndrome, joint pain, foot pain, back pain, mild-to-moderate sleep apnea, hidradenitis suppurativa (its BAD right now), GERD. Most of the time, I can still buckle my airplane seatbelt, but I know it's because I have a pretty small frame (I'm 5'0")...still, I had to "fake it" during one flight because I couldn't bear the burning shame of asking for an extender. I'm effing fed up with this bs.

I have been trying to lose 35 lbs for the last 18 months. I have not been successful thus far. It seems like I have an overeating issue.... HENCE WHY I NEED VSG! Unfortunately, Kaiser Permanente NorCal approved me but only if I can get my weight down to 250. I have been in counseling and I've been trying to eat right...GOSH ITS ALMOST LIKE I NEED SOME SORT OF PHYSICAL RESTRICTION TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON THE GOAL. Kaiser offers no ongoing counseling or diagnoses for overeaters, compulsive overeating, or binge eating disorder (even though it is in the DSM...they don't care). I was allowed one appointment with their eating disorders clinic therapist: She told me to buy Judith Beck's book, "Diet for Life"....that's right, that is the treatment offered to me by Kaiser: buy a book. They don't offer personal training or exercise programs, they don't offer ongoing counseling for overeaters, they actually told me, "Ma'am, if we did that for you, 20% of our patients would qualify for these programs". Ok, so....too many people need help, so they're just NOT GOING TO OFFER IT.

Look, I know that ANY surgery is safer if you're at a lower BMI. I know about my fatty liver, too- but I also know that the liquid pre-op diet DOES help to shrink that down. I know KP is VERY conservative when it comes to treatments, hey, they're a health maintenance org. However, I have begged just about every department I can (including seeing my surgeon, Dr. Baggs, personally & begging for the surgery)- no one cares. It's up to me to lose 35 lbs, or self-pay. Because you know what?? Chris Christie (governor of NJ) just got the lap band. His BMI must have been sky-high, but HIS TOP NOTCH WORLD CLASS DOCTORS still gave HIM the surgery... I truly believe that I am a fine candidate for VSG, and that is why i am now considering, very seriously, self-pay. I'm confued, is there ANYONE out there with a similar sitch?

If you respond, please don't lecture me on the importance of a high-Protein, low-carb diet. Please don't SHOCK me with the news that exercise is good for me & necessary to achieve lifetime results. And yes, I've met with the Kaiser dietician several times- I know what to eat. I eat too much of it, and that's not something a NUT can fix. Thank you for allowing me to rant.

I self paid... if your insurance won't cover it, and you believe it will be a good tool for you, then go ahead and self pay.

It is hard to lose weight that is why we are all here right? It stinks! I know alot of my issues are related to emotional eating and even after I have had the VSG, lost almost 90 pounds and have changed most of my eating habits, I find that I STILL have these issues so I know what you mean. I hope that you can find some sort of a solution. Keep us posted!

It's a fatty liver not a kidney.....

And think about all the people that would LOVE the opportunity to have this surgery and can't for whatever reason...

I'm in the San Francisco Bay Area also. It's beautiful outside, walk

You will find a way to get this surgery. I got my surgery through Kaiser and I didn't lose the recommended amount they wanted. But they did it any ways. I do have diabetes. Before I had surgery I cut my meals in half and was losing weight pretty good. But because of my BMI my surgeon that I had been referred too, told me not to lose any more weight. You need this and do what you have to do to make it happen.

If you find that your insurance company won't work with you - self pay. Have you talked to your therapist and primary care physician?? Just remember, this is not a magical surgery, it's a tool. If you read alot on this forum, you will find that this is not easy, you may be asked to do a two week liquid diet to reduce your fatty liver - you have to follow the surgeons instructions to a T. If you want this bad enough, you'll figure out a way

If you want this surgery bad enough you will find away to get those pounds off. It will be hard but it is doable. Try a liquid diet, try the 5:2 diet where you fast 2 days a week.

You will find a way to get this surgery. I got my surgery through Kaiser and I didn't lose the recommended amount they wanted. But they did it any ways. I do have diabetes. Before I had surgery I cut my meals in half and was losing weight pretty good. But because of my BMI my surgeon that I had been referred too, told me not to lose any more weight. You need this and do what you have to do to make it happen.

Thank you, sexy goddess! I appreciate your situation and I know I need to keep on keeping on...self-pay would cost about $9000 out of pocket...vs. $250 with kaiser...I don't know if I can feel like this for another year while I struggle to lose 30-ish lbs. That's kind of where I'm at. I have the money to self-pay in Mexico...I just know KP will be upset if I do so.

Thank you everyone for your input! I know the universe will unfold as it is meant to. I also wanted to add that I was a Grand Canyon Guide (I'm Flagstaffian, after all!) in college, and was hiking and biking almost every day for 7 years. i was overweight but pretty durn healthy. Now, if I walk to dog for more than 10 minutes, I get such pain in my lower back that I have to sit or lay down. It's embarassing and frustrating to be at this point at age 30. I think it's just begun to really, really get to me.

I don't think you are crazy, I was the same. I tried a plethora of diets and work outs etc. Even if I did loose weight it wouldn't stay off with out assistance. You could look into self pay or Mexico self pay.

It's a fatty liver not a kidney.....

And think about all the people that would LOVE the opportunity to have this surgery and can't for whatever reason...

I'm in the San Francisco Bay Area also. It's beautiful outside, walk

Was this comment meant to be helpful? It mostly sounded like you were being an insensitive a** to me, especially since you have already had surgery.

IYou could look into self pay or Mexico self pay.

Was this comment meant to be helpful? It mostly sounded like you were being an insensitive a** to me' date=' especially since you have already had surgery.[/quote']

It was meant to be realistic! Yes I had my surgery a while ago. And it is not a miracle quick fix cure.

It's blood sweat and tears. You have to make many changes not excuses if you want to succeed. There will be many people having this surgery some will succeed some will fail.

getting your head in the game is necessary for success,

Thank you, sexy goddess! I appreciate your situation and I know I need to keep on keeping on...self-pay would cost about $9000 out of pocket...vs. $250 with kaiser...I don't know if I can feel like this for another year while I struggle to lose 30-ish lbs. That's kind of where I'm at. I have the money to self-pay in Mexico...I just know KP will be upset if I do so.

I told my PCP that I was going to get this surgery in Mexico and that's when he gave me a referral. If you get surgery in Mexico, KP will still do follow up treatment. You would go through your PCP and they would then refer you to a bariatric specialist if a complication arises. I have a clt who had surgery in Mexico and has done exceptionally well.

I don't think you are crazy, I was the same. I tried a plethora of diets and work outs etc. Even if I did loose weight it wouldn't stay off with out assistance. You could look into self pay or Mexico self pay.

Was this comment meant to be helpful? It mostly sounded like you were being an insensitive a** to me, especially since you have already had surgery.

Thanks, Kandi! I appreciate the support. I agree 100% with everything you said. I'm not living in denial, I am trying to actually be real about this- can I continue to struggle for months or years with my weight to meet Kaiser's requirements? Or do what I think is best? So, I am researching various self-pay options. No one that's been through all of this would EVER say this is "the easy way" or that it doesn't take a TON of work....but I think that getting sleeved is sometimes the catalyst that drives people to stick to their healthy choices.

I told my PCP that I was going to get this surgery in Mexico and that's when he gave me a referral. If you get surgery in Mexico, KP will still do follow up treatment. You would go through your PCP and they would then refer you to a bariatric specialist if a complication arises. I have a clt who had surgery in Mexico and has done exceptionally well.

OMG, thank you for saying that!! One thing I have been really worried about is if KP will treat me if there are complications or problems. When I first began the WLS program with them, they specifically warned me against going outside of the system, and even took the time to tell me "Mexico Horror Stories"..now that's just mean!

I, too, have an overeating issue. But if you can commit to following a plan, I would suggest trying Medifast. Those 35 pounds should come off pretty easily if you follow their plan. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you could do it in 2-3 months...max.

Just wondering if you have been tested for any medical issues as to why you cant drop weight or is it just purely over eating? My insurance requires me to lose 10% (30 lbs for me) over the course of a 6 month program. I am 43 and have struggled with food addiction, emotional eating etc I have enough knowledge to be a Nutritionist myself lol but hence I reached my high weight of 293 this past year. I have wanted surgery since 2004 but unlike you I have not been able to live the dream nor have had the money to self pay, but thankfully my job switched insurance companies this past January so hell yeah I have struggled to lose the required weight and yes every day it is a struggle and most days I go over but I do log everything in My Fitness Pal keeping track of my calories.. Im not going to say hey if I can do it you can to but if money is not a problem for you and dont want to lose the weight head south of the boarder, there are a lot of positive mexico stories on here....if not your gonna be 40 something and feeling like your 60 something

Also the is Overeaters Anonymous if you really feel you need help...its free and you will be welcomed no matter what your issues...good luck