Flagstaffian

Hey y'all. Sarah here. I was active on the boards until about a year ago...now I'm BACK! I am a 30 year old retirement planner, living the dream in the SF Bay Area. Oh wait- almost living the dream- first I need to take off this 160 lb fat suit I've been dragging around the last 7 years. See, I've always been fluffy, voluptuous, "a big girl". Still, I was ususally happy with who I was and how I looked. It wasn't until I broke up with my college boyfriend of 4 years at age 23-24, that I started gaining serious weight. I was about 170 back then, and had always worn a size 12 or 14...now I'm a 22. I just started eating to deal with the serious depression, then I would get more depressed because of the way my clothes stopped fitting, and thus began the ugly cycle that I've been in since 2006. At this point, I'm in treatment for depression (for WAY more issues than just the weight) and luckily, over the last 3 years, my depression has become manageable. It still rears its ugly head once in a while, but I can handle it now. The meds have really worked. I KNOW that WLS isn't a cure-all, but I also know in my heart of hearts that if I wasn't super-morbidly-obese, I would be loving life a lot more. Just ask anyone who has lost weight and kept it off. ANYONE. I also have co-morbidities: carpal tunnel syndrome, joint pain, foot pain, back pain, mild-to-moderate sleep apnea, hidradenitis suppurativa (its BAD right now). Most of the time, I can still buckle my airplane seatbelt, but I know it's because I have a pretty small frame (I'm 5'0")...still, I had to "fake it" during one flight because I couldn't bear the burning shame of asking for an extender. I'm effing fed up with this bs. I have been trying to lose 35 lbs for the last 18 months. I have not been successful thus far. Gee, it almost seems like I have an overeating issue.... HENCE WHY I NEED VSG! Unfortunately, Kaiser Permanente NorCal approved me but only if I can get my weight down to 250. I have been in counseling and I've been trying to eat right...GOSH ITS ALMOST LIKE I NEED SOME SORT OF PHYSICAL RESTRICTION TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON THE GOAL. Kaiser offers no ongoing counseling or diagnoses for overeaters, compulsive overeating, or binge eating disorder (even though it is in the DSM...they don't care). I was allowed one appointment with their eating disorders clinic therapist: She told me to buy Judith Beck's book, "Diet for Life"....that's right, that is the treatment offered to me by Kaiser: buy a book. They don't offer personal training or exercise programs, they don't offer ongoing counseling for overeaters, they actually told me, "Ma'am, if we did that for you, 20% of our patients would qualify for these programs". Ok, so....too many people need help, so they're just NOT GOING TO OFFER IT. Look, I know that ANY surgery is safer if you're at a lower BMI. I know about fat on my liver, too- but I also know that the liquid pre-op diet DOES help to shrink that down. I know KP is VERY conservative when it comes to treatments, hey, they're a health maintenance org. However, I have begged just about every department I can (including seeing my surgeon, Dr. Baggs, personally & begging for the surgery)- no one cares. It's up to me to lose 35 lbs, or self-pay. Because you know what?? Chris Christie (governor of NJ) just got the lap band. His BMI must have been sky-high, but HIS TOP NOTCH WORLD CLASS DOCTORS still gave HIM the surgery... I truly believe that I am a fine candidate for VSG, and that is why i am now considering, very seriously, self-pay. I'm going to post this in the main forum also. However, since I am on a limited budget, I am seriously considering surgery in Mexicali or TJ.

Hi there! I am going through the program with KP NorCal, and it is SUPER-FAST. My surgeon, Dr. Baggs, is really caring and the staff is great. I was only told to lose 15 lbs before they would schedule me for surgery. The only hold-up is my slow-@$$ weight loss...which I struggle with, but the lbs. are coming off, one ounce at a time!!

YAY FOR YOUUUU!!!!! I'd imagine that you are flying high with this, and that confidence will carry over to your job interview. Great job!

Maybe walk around witha team of crying babies and nagging mothers-in-law all day to perk you up and raise your bp? JK!! I don't know, but I wish you luck on this!

...all medical professionals seem to say to me.... Now, are they SAYING that? Or is that just what I'm HEARING? A rant: I sat down today with a primary care physican/internist to ask about a consistent, aching knot that has been living in my right shoulder blade for about 5 years. I figure it is from stress, or tension, or improper posture, or poor ergonomics at work. Sometimes a massage helps, but it never works it all the way out. I wanted some medical info on this, to see if massage really helps with muscle tension/pain, but what did I get instead? A lecture. On being overweight. About how my gut and my boobs are too big, and how that causes back pain.... But wait, doc! I was asking about a knot in my shoulder! And I'm exercising, eating healthy, and having VSG in a few months! Can you please give me some actual advice relating to my shoulder pain?! She just kept veering back to the weight issue. Because, for me, it's hard to try to stand up to a doctor, and I'm usually not the one steering the conversation. She eventually told me to try some Vitamin D or a heating pad. OK, fine. I'll try that. But I feel like I'm WELL aware of all of the detrimental effects of obesity. That's why I'm trying to get the weight off! Sometimes, I just want a doctor to give me an answer, and not relate it to the one medical issue I am fighting tooth and nail. Thanks for letting me rant, VSG Talk friends. I feel better :smile1: (HUGS) SF

Congrats, mama! Your little ones are so lucky to have a mom that will be around for a long time to come

Writergirl, I'm a writer too. With an analytical mind. That loves to consider self-sabotage...but honey, it doesn't sound like you're purposefully sabotaging yourself, even subconsciously. It sounds like you just had MAJOR FREAKIN SURGERY and your body IS screaming uot "WTF?!". I don't have NUT advice for you, but I did want to tell you that I'm rooting for you, and I hope you keep us updated. ((HUGS)) SF

OH, Aunt Flo, you nearly caused me to go berserk last week! Aaah, the blessings of womanhood...thanks, Eve!

I am glad to hear "You're Alive" and anxious to hear updates. Gd bless you and keep us updated.

Have you tried switching up your gym routine? I know that can sometimes kick start things for me. But you're doing SO GREAT!! You've lost the equivalent of a 2 year old!! That's right, you've lost anough weight to make a toddler !! Say good bye to little Tommy! (I know that's weird, but I like to equate my weight losses to tangible things. For example, last week I lost 2 boxes of pasta

Also, are you going to be able to serve? When are planning on going back to work?

OK, my #1 fear about having getting sleeved is pain. I have never had surgery, never had kids, never even gotten stitches!! I've never broken a bone! I find menstrual cramps debilitating!! I have a really tough job where I sometimes have to work with terminally ill people, and I lost my mom when I was a teenager, and I am a TIGER when it comes to dealing with emotional pain, but I am so scared about the hurting. And I know myself, I am going to be ALL OVER those pain meds- luckily, I can take two-four weeks off from work so my main priorities will be getting Water, Protein, and walks in. ANd I can do all of those things doped up on Vicodin! But my question for you is, have you had any other procedures? What was the pain like, specifially? Was it gas or incision? Can you feel your stomach inside your body hurting? TMI?

Y'all are freaking me OUT! I mean, I know we are grown-ups and have to consider the risk of pain and complications, I mean, it's MAJOR FREAKING SURGERY, but I am a sad little baby kitten when it somes to pain. As in, I am terrified of pain and blood. I brought this up to my surgeon, and I wondered out loud if that should disqualify me from surgery, but he assured me that it does not disqualify me. But I'm scared! I'm so scared. Of pain, not of being thinner and healthy :ack2:

OK, so I guess you totally already answered that...Sorry ...and I guess lots of us have very similar questions. thank Gd for all of yuo and this forum!

Oh my, I am freaked out by that! Does everybody have to have a tube? Was it for breathing? Are you glad you picked VSG over lap band?

I am SO RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! Me -n- food have had a hell of a messed up relationship over the last 20 or so years, and those mental ties are so hard to cut. Have you ever considered some counseling to deal with the emotions that cause us to eat? I've been to what is called "cognitive therapy" in a group situation at Kaiser. It's where you take a look at the emotions that are making you "want" a specific kind of food- where you are, who you are with, and what exactly triggered this craving or need to eat. You kind of "map it out", so that the next time that same sitch arises, you can wiggle out of it. :smile1: Does it work? Yes, I think if you commit to it. Obviously, I am overweight and in the process of scheduling a VSG, so it didn't work 100% for me, but it might help you get through the next few weeks! Gd bless you and may you get strength from this community and your loved ones! ((HUGS)) SF

OMG, you are just 6 weeks away from the first day of the rest of your life!! I'm sure it will feel like a long wait, but before you know it, you'll be checking in to the hospital! I'm glad you have a supportive hubby too- that's so important. You are gonna be one hot, tan, florida mama!

You are on your WAY, girlfriend!! You are super motivated and it will feel SOOOO good to tell Doc, "See, I told ya!" Plus, seeing your fam is a huge motivation, too. Keep at it!

Hi guys, just a quick update. I had my psych eval last week and it went great. The psychologist for KP Richmond is a very nice lady in her late 60's. She looked at my 8 page questionnaire and basically asked me the same questions that I had already answered, maybe to see if my answers were consistent? We talked about triggers, family background, and most importantly, she wanted to gauge how realistic my expectations are in regards to what the sleeve can and cannot do. She also recommended some support groups. She told me that they don't usually deny people based on the psych eval, and she also slipped in a few horror stories of "VSG's gone wrong"...like the family that went to Mexico to get their 11 yr old sleeved...ouch, it did NOT go well for that poor child. All in all, it was about 90 minutes, cost $15 on my KP plan, and left me feeling better about my decision to have the surgery. Pretty painless! ((HUGS)), SF

Girl, I hear you loud and clear! It is simply not fun to shop with your friends when nothing fits!

Keep rocking that sleeve girl! You are an inspiration!

Lyra, I would like to tell you about Re/Dress- a super hip, affordable vintage & modern clothing site for the full figured woman (redressnyc.com)...also, I am guessing you know about Torrid? Even if they don't have a store in Cary, their website is great and returns are really easy if it doesn't fit (torrid.com). Big girls need to get sexxxy, too! ((HUGS)) SF

MsBoo, You have the prettiest ticker I've seen yet!!

Hi T1D, When you say "lettuce", do you mean iceberg (regular) lettuce? Or maybe Romaine? I am wondering, what do you use for salads?

First of all, thank you ALL for your responses...you're such a huge help! My appt is at 3pm today, and I will definitely report back. So, I have already been approved for the surgery by Kaiser Permanente and had (2) classes, blood tests, and the preliminary consultation with my surgeon. I am actually within 6 lbs of goal weight for surgery (!!) which, Dr. Baggs set at 255#. They wanted me to be at goal weight today, so they could schedule the next "hoop", which is a meeting with the Case Manager...they won't do that til I'm at my pre-op goal weight. The VSG surgery is being covered almost completely by Kaiser (HALLELUJAH!). I just pay co-pays for each of the pre-op appointments.