I received this text message yesterday from someone who is supposed to support me and care about me. But instead, all I ever hear is this negativity from everyone in my life. It's so disheartening...

I can not read the text. However, I am sorry you are not meeting the support you deserve. I hope as time goes on you are able to meet with people that will be there for you every step of the way! Best Wishes to you!

Ugh sorry hon. HUGS!!

Could say something but I better not but you can tell him for me that I'm not lazy

That text is quite harsh. I am sorry you received it. Hold on to what you know and feel you need to do.

Did you ask for her opinion? If so, you get what you ask for, I guess.

Even if you did, there's no reason for her to question your will power or strength to do this. It TAKES will power and strength to do this, to admit to yourself that you CAN'T tackle this problem and you want the help you think will be best for you. Shame on her!

I don't tolerate bs like this from anyone in my life, so if someone said something like this, I'd put them in their place. So anyone in my circle who felt like this would know dam better than to say something like this.

That said, I was scared to tell people. Still haven't told many. Because even though I can put them in check for saying something like that, it is still hurtful to hear, and I'm sorry someone who's opinion you value is being a jerk!

Only you can make choices for you, don't let the naysayers get you down. Maybe you'll find out how good a friend this person really is through this journey. And though it hurts, it's not a bad thing.

No, I never asked for his opinion.... He tells me all the time how he feels about it Lol he's on a diet and has lost about 40 pounds so far so he feels this surgery isn't necessary for me. I feel it is. No matter what I say, I will never be able to change his mind. This is a guy I've been seeing for a couple if years btw. I completely stopped talking to my family about it. All they want to do is talk about how dangerous they think it is to travel there and how the Mexican drug cartel is bad down there. Every little thing to scare the crap out of me! Lol

That's why I stopped talking to my family about it. My surgery is June 22 and only my husband and co workers know. I told my mom last year and she freaked out and I don't need the stress or negativity. So I'm going to Tijuana by my self, for me to make myself healthier and happier. Good luck, do what makes u happy...

I think the people who are saying this do not understand what it is really all about and they are saying things because they are scared and uninformed. I had comments from people and smart remarks, but those are all but a memory now as the weight is coming off and I am feeling better and doing better. It is hard enough with support, so I am sorry those closest are not very supportive. It is nice your friend has lost 40 pounds, good for him. The fact is you are not him and it may come off, but how well is it going to stay off? You have to make this decision for you and I hope you find the support you need to make the decision you are most comfortable with. Good luck and stay strong.

A lot of times things like this are just fears coming out in the wrong way...especially if it's someone who cares about you. I've gotten a lot of the same texts from someone I was seeing and I simply told him...I've been overweight my entire life. I didn't just wake up one day and decide that I was going to go into Mexico for surgery, a lot of time and research went into this. Also it's still going to be a lot of hard work but I don't want to spend another year of my life struggling the same way I have in the past. I want to finally fight a winning battle and this is how I am going to do it. I also told him that I understand how afraid he must be and that if I was in his shoes I would be the same way but that I would show him more respect and love than he was showing me, so if he has anything else to say...he needs to think about if it is coming from a place of love, or a place of fear before he says it...I have enough fear in my life and I don't need the person that loves me adding to it.

Be strong girl! It's gonna be wonderful!

I am sorry you had to deal with this. I had a lot of people make comments to me, begging me to reconsider before the surgery and some really unbelievable comments after the surgery. People who have not been in our shoes have no idea what it is like to battle weight. I am 51 years old. In the last 6 years, I have made several attempts at losing the weight on my own. The first time, I started at 296 and lost 125 lbs. the second time I got up to 276 and lost 90 lbs and the 3rd time I was at 260 and lost 70 lbs. each time the weight came back. My knees hurt, my blood sugar was getting high and I needed help. I had my surgery May 1st. I was 262 lbs. this morning, I was 243.4. I hope these are numbers that I never see again when I stand on the scale. I want to be healthy. If I fail, it is MY journey and it was MY decision. So far, I have NO regrets! It is a decision you have to make for yourself. I tell people this who question me. I wish you the best. I truly believe you are doing what is right for YOU, People are not the same. Having surgery doesn't make you weak or lazy. It makes you wise and courageous enough to get the help you need to be healthy! Don't let anyone tell you different!

Wow!!!! That is really harsh. Before surgery, I worked out everyday with minimal weight loss. I've lost 50 pounds 3 times only to gain it back. I have 2 small children, work, going to school to be a nurse, and take care of our home. I think its safe to say I'm far from lazy or pathetic! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this but please don't believe that crap!

I thought about you today. Wondering a) where have you been? And have you set a date yet?

OMG, that text makes me so angry on your behalf! Calling you names is NOT supportive. WLS is NOT the "easy way out." Sounds like someone who is totally ignorant of the process. My DH is not especially supportive, but he better not EVER speak to me like that. I am so, so sorry that you are getting criticism and name calling instead of love and support. You deserve much better.

What serenity said. Instead of reconsidering surgery maybe you could reconsider listening to that crap.

People were very skeptical before I went, but oh well. I didn't have to deal with what you do. I'm sorry

Wow.

Use this to make you stronger. Use this to reflect on when you think you can't do something. Remember adversity builds character and this person just gave you a dose of strength, though I know that was not their intention, but that is what you can take from it. You either let this sort of thing drag you down or you use it to climb up higher on.

I would reconsider seeing him. You are not married to him. I would clear him out to make room for a supportive man that deserves you. I am so angry on your behalf.

So while he will be gaining his 40 pounds back you will be losing, becoming thin and happy and keeping your weight off: hopefully you will LOSE him too! He is an A** H***.